The Annual Sleuth Beauty Pageant 2009
"(to be sung softly and slowly, with solemnity)
From street to penthouse suite, master of mystery
She dusts everything she sees
She aces every case
She’s boss at the Arch Villain chase
She’s got a nice enough face.
She is…Miss Sleuthvilleeeeee
Hold your fedora up high
Hold your fedora up high
Raise it to the sky
Hold your fedora up high
Woaaa yeye oooh ye sky high, hold your fedora up high..."
(adapted from William Shatner's "Miss United States" from the hit movie, Miss Congeniality.)
(NOTE: These lyrics in no way imply that no males can enter the beauty pageant, but putting "he/she/it" everywhere necessary in the song would reeeeally diminish the effect of the poetic masterpiece before you.
Males are welcome and are encouraged!)
Welcome to the revival of the Annual Sleuth Beauty Pageant that I have hastily undertaken.
It's time to whip out your curling irons, your fake eyelashes, your obscene amounts of gel, your lipstick and most importantly your cameras, or perhaps just your knowledge of movie stars or notable public figures of Hollywood's Golden Age and school us folks at Sleuth in just what a beautiful avatar is! Or, you could skip the theme and just snap a pic of yourself. That too, we certainly understand. PLEASE NOTE: ONCE THE CONTEST BEGINS AND YOU ARE NOMINATED, YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO CHANGE YOUR AVATAR FOR THE DURATION OF THE CONTEST. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN YOUR REMOVAL FROM THE RUNNING.
Here's how this is going to work. Consider this a warning post: if you think there's a chance you might be nominated, we suggest you change your avatar to its most flattering aspect possible. Currently nominations will be accepted once the judges are found and Ben is supplicated in earnest for his blessing.
As of right now, nominations are not being accepted! If you post one I shall smite thee. I will post as soon as I have full clearance to start and you can nominate to your hearts content. Good luck!
Message me if you are confused on anything above
I second that. You're doing a great job Molly and congrats to all the final contestants!!
lol well I can't imagine a more diverse range of people actually. There's a mix of long term and new faces, a mix of well known, and seldom seen, there's even a couple in there that until I looked them up I didn't even know they existed. heavy on the ladies, but that'd be ctowns votes I'm sure.
good luck to you all.
Gopher to the Sleuth Gods
Heck, I seem to be the only male avatar left! I do feel a tad overwhelmed however, by all these great looking female avatars! I'm sure I will stand out in the Swimsuit Round..hehehe. Thanks for the nomination Anais although I sometimes ask myself what I'm doing here ;-)
*lengthy snicker at turtledoves interesting wording*
Ha, thanks for the kind words, guys. I just hate getting stupidly disgruntled pms. (Or pointless ones, speaking of which. Mr.Purrvh, anyone? XD)
I'm definitely excited about our results! Poor turtledoves the only guy. You'll have to bribe voters extra-hard, the fate and pride of Sleuth mankind rests upon your shoulders.
Oh my, I must drop in at the Gumshoe Lounge more often!
How enchanting to be included ;-)
My thanks to dear Androctonus for nominating me, and thank you Molly for dreaming up this delightful diversion!
I must go clean my fans now ... la revedere!
The following is best read in a deep Southern Drawl:
As a retired lawyer who has recently come out of retirement, I'm here today to bring about an affirmative action suit against your contest for sexism. This suit alleges that you willfully engaged in practices of misandry against the participants in your contest both in your selection of judges with a partiality to the female figure and you own interjection meant to block many fine young men from being selected. The rejected male participants will be seeking unspecified damages to be determined in a trial by jury.
Either that or I need to stop watching so much Law & Order while I'm sick XD
All joking aside, good luck to all the remaining participants. I'm glad I can finally change my avatar back to an actual lawyer rather than me playing gangster.
Oh wow, I'm in the final. That's come as a huge shock considering how many new gorgeous faces there are about, mine must be looking tired and haggard by now hehe. Thank you for the nomination Elizabeth and thank you judges for not thinking I'm past it.
TD you must be loving being surrounded by lots of women ;)
Molly, as others have said, whenever there has been a contest on Sleuth there has always been at least one person have a grumble and moan for whatever reason. You're not going to please everyone no matter how hard you try, that's just the way life is.
I personally would like to say a very big thank you to you for taking the time to organise this annual beauty pageant. It's these things that keep the community spirit alive so thank you Molly.
Can't ya just see Gregory Peck (To Kill a Mockingbird style) rollin' off that little speech in yer heads?? ;-)
By the way, good luck with yer action, Esquire. I do hope yer prepared to get pelted by hoop skirts and mascara if yer successful.
*HUGE grin at that one!!*
;-D ;-D ;-D
I am SHAAAAAAAAAWKED and APPPAAAWLLED at your senseless accusations, Heim-lick vawn Vic-tah! To slandah my good name in the communi-tay! I could just DIE!
*marches away in full-blown tizzy, petticoats a-flyin*
(Keeping up with the Southern Drawl)
Mollae? Honey chile? Just ig-nore that Mister Vawn Vic-tah! He ain't knowin a word he sayin. I thank he has a screw loose or somethag of the sort, cause, well, I ain't knowin quite why. He's just a Yank, so pay im no heed, dahlin. *haughty sniff*
Now git yerself over here an help meh cook up some suthern comfort food for the end of the pageant, yeh hear now? Collared greens, po' boys, grits, sweet tea, hush puppies, and some craw-daddies!