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The Annual Sleuth Beauty Pageant 2009
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Molly Maltese
Molly Maltese
Old Shoe

Nov-11-2009 19:36

"(to be sung softly and slowly, with solemnity)
From street to penthouse suite, master of mystery
She dusts everything she sees
She aces every case
She’s boss at the Arch Villain chase
She’s got a nice enough face.
She is…Miss Sleuthvilleeeeee
Hold your fedora up high
Hold your fedora up high
Raise it to the sky
Hold your fedora up high
Woaaa yeye oooh ye sky high, hold your fedora up high..."

(adapted from William Shatner's "Miss United States" from the hit movie, Miss Congeniality.)

(NOTE: These lyrics in no way imply that no males can enter the beauty pageant, but putting "he/she/it" everywhere necessary in the song would reeeeally diminish the effect of the poetic masterpiece before you.
Males are welcome and are encouraged!)

Welcome to the revival of the Annual Sleuth Beauty Pageant that I have hastily undertaken.

It's time to whip out your curling irons, your fake eyelashes, your obscene amounts of gel, your lipstick and most importantly your cameras, or perhaps just your knowledge of movie stars or notable public figures of Hollywood's Golden Age and school us folks at Sleuth in just what a beautiful avatar is! Or, you could skip the theme and just snap a pic of yourself. That too, we certainly understand. PLEASE NOTE: ONCE THE CONTEST BEGINS AND YOU ARE NOMINATED, YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO CHANGE YOUR AVATAR FOR THE DURATION OF THE CONTEST. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN YOUR REMOVAL FROM THE RUNNING.

Here's how this is going to work. Consider this a warning post: if you think there's a chance you might be nominated, we suggest you change your avatar to its most flattering aspect possible. Currently nominations will be accepted once the judges are found and Ben is supplicated in earnest for his blessing.

As of right now, nominations are not being accepted! If you post one I shall smite thee. I will post as soon as I have full clearance to start and you can nominate to your hearts content. Good luck!

Message me if you are confused on anything above

Replies

Molly Maltese
Molly Maltese
Old Shoe

Nov-24-2009 13:20

Whae, Miz Ah-naaaaaaaais Niii-uhn, that sounds perfectlay lovelay! That Mistah Vawn Vict-tah has another think come-in, that's for da-urhn sure.

Us Sutherners sure do know how to make that them there comfort food, ya hear? That was directed at you Yanks, with yer celer-ay and wat-ah and he-yulth conscious nonsense. Well we're gonna have ourselves a daggone feast! I'll bring a trifle!

Breitkat
Breitkat
Pinball Amateur

Nov-24-2009 14:35

As a globe-trotting Yank (the American kind more than the Northern one ;-) with a growling stomach and a clean napkin tucked in her shirtwaist, might I be able to join you ladies at your delectable feast?? I'll even have the Tiger scare up a peach cobbler or a coconut cake from the local baker if possible. ;-)

P.S. -- (Not only do I personally loathe celery [never liked the taste of the stuff], but I can't eat it anyway [docs say it's on the no-no list for my head]. Hope that influences the decision-making, just a bit. ;-)

The Contessa
The Contessa
Old Shoe

Nov-24-2009 15:30

Hi Breit!

Your post made me really curious - the doctors said celery was not a good thing for you to eat?

* gulp, I just boiled a lot of celery and scallions to go in my Thanksgiving dressing LOL!! *

I am always interested in things that are "good for you" or "bad for you" - just wondering what evil may lurk in my celery? :D :D

Breitkat
Breitkat
Pinball Amateur

Nov-24-2009 15:43

Celery's high in Sodium, something I should try and avoid when possible. I'm also off of things that are high in Vitamin K (potassium, I believe).

Sodium's not good for people with heart or vascular troubles (raises hand at second one), and Vitamin K's one of the essential nutrients the body needs for blood clotting (normally, a good thing in most people, as that's what helps us heal, and not bleed to death). Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people, so I hafta watch how much Vitamin K I get.

Basically, any vegetable that's green has a significant level of Vitamin K in it (good for me, since I'm not a fan of most of the green ones anyway ;-). And celery's one of the only veggies that's bad for celery, but there's other foods that are high on the hit list for sodium (like good ol' NaCl, aka, common table salt). Sooo, you won't find me nibblin' on celery with peanut butter anytime in this lifetime. ;-D

Breitkat
Breitkat
Pinball Amateur

Nov-24-2009 15:45

Sorry, meant to say celery's one of the only veggies that's bad for sodium. My Oops. ;-)

Molly Maltese
Molly Maltese
Old Shoe

Nov-24-2009 18:02

Way-ull, aftah careful considerayshun, we have decided to let the Yank join in awhr feast. It is a seasuhn of Thanksgivin', after all, and while I am not thankful for Yanks, I figgur I get brown-ay points with the Lawhrd Almight-ay for fosterin good will towards man and some such.

On a side note, I get what you're saying Breit, I have to watch sodium intake, products with MSG or anything with sulphites because they all trigger severe migraines for me. One migraine and I'm down for the day and still feeling the after effects the next morning. You think a hangovers bad...


Breitkat
Breitkat
Pinball Amateur

Nov-24-2009 18:13

Would that I GOT hangovers like my average migraine....

I'd be on the sauce for life. ;-D

(I empathize with your migraines too. Man, they're killers, aren't they? Hope you don't get hit with one anytime soon.) :-/

Breitkat
Breitkat
Pinball Amateur

Nov-24-2009 18:15

(Damn, that last one didn't come out right either. Meant to say I empathize with YOU bout your migraines. Man, two in one day. Not good, Breit, not good. ;-)

Molly Maltese
Molly Maltese
Old Shoe

Nov-24-2009 18:31

LOL, "gosh I feel bad for your migraines; they have to put up with YOU!" is that the underlying message, here? XD

amen. yep, I get hit with the whole absolutely numb-dead-weight arm thing, loss of feeling in my face, inability to see, sensitivity to light, pounding headache sort of like an icepick being driven into my temples. Its glorious. And when people say, "oh its just a headache" then I hit them. :)

however, I haven't had one in about a year, ever since I cut out all the really bad things out of my diet. Woot WOOT!

LauraVo
LauraVo
Battered Shoe

Nov-25-2009 00:54

I'm in awe that I'm in the final ten as well...it must be because so many people have seen my thread and read me like a braille book.

Confidential to Ms. Helen - you are an ageless beauty and you look as young and fresh today as you did when I first saw you over 900 days ago!

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