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Jan-24-2007 23:11

Feb-1-2007 07:03

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed
quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to
hook the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph so
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out
fishing in that crap?"

Feb-6-2007 17:18

Thanks to all, you have made me smile made me laugh.Life has been a bit shite lately, I lost my friend Paul recently, he loved a joke, he would have apprecaited this thread. Ta for cheering me up.

Feb-10-2007 06:38

What is red and goes tick- tock?
An apple. The tick-tock was to confuse you.

What is red and goes tick tock?
A clock. This time the red was to confuse you.

What is red and goes tick tock?
An egg. Now both were to confuse you.

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Oct-31-2007 23:23

Redneck's Birth Control

A redneck took his daughter to the Gynocologist.

They waited in the Doctor's office when finally the Doctor came in and asked the father: "Well, what are we here for today"?

The father answered: "to get my daughter on birth control, Doc".

"Well, is your daughter sexually active?", asked the Doctor.

"No", answered the redneck, "she just lays there like her mother".

(gotten from http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=3792&id=1 )

Nov-1-2007 14:26

The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5'10", 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6'7", 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little hope of winning. As expected, the Russian has with way with the American. Suddenly, the American explosively turns the match around, pins the Russian, and gains the victory for the American team.

The American wrestler returns to the sidelines where the coach asks him, "Son, how were you able to defeat that big Russian? Honestly, I didn't give you much of a chance."

The wrestler says, "Well, coach, when he had me down on the ground all rolled up, I saw a pair of nuts dangling in front of my face, and I just bit them as hard as I could."

The coach is shocked. "That's how you beat him?!"

"Hell yeah!" the wrestler says. "You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own nuts!"

I've read this on another site some months ago, and still laughs when thinking about it.

Nov-1-2007 23:26

I wanna be a wrestler!

*signs up for a self-loving yoga class cause he's just not flexible...yet*

Nov-4-2007 12:44

Poetry Contest

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

(http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=3764&id=1)