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Detective fun while waiting
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Greyling
Greyling

Sep-8-2004 12:29

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Replies

Daniella Jewel
Daniella Jewel

Jun-5-2005 11:02

Here is another stupid one...
Three girls: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are all instructed by their boyfriends to cross an 800 mile lake. The brunette makes it 200 miles, decides she can't make it and drowns. The redhead makes it 400 miles, decides she can't make it, and drowns. The blonde makes it 700 miles, decides she can't make it and swims back.

Geddes
Geddes
Nomad

Jun-5-2005 17:23

Fancy yourself the equal of Sherlock Holmes? Consider the story Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, told on himself.

He was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris, when a taxi pulled up. He placed his suitcase in the car and took a seat.

"Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?", asked the taxi driver.

Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver if he knew him by sight.

"No, sir, I have never seen you before."

The puzzled Doyle asked him how he knew he was Arthur Conan Doyle.

"This morning's paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi stand to which people who return from Marseilles always come. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you're a writer. Your clothing is very English and not French. And so, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

Doyle remarked, "This is truly amazing. You are a real-life counterpart of Sherlock Holmes."

"There is one other thing," the driver said.

"What is that?"

"Your name is on the front of your suitcase!"


Daniella Jewel
Daniella Jewel

Jun-5-2005 18:07

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's so funny Geddes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mackenzie robbin
mackenzie robbin

Jun-5-2005 22:22

Funny. I liked that last one.

Blaise Joshua
Blaise Joshua

Jun-6-2005 00:27

Two popular jokes in Ireland at the moment ...

The I.R.A monthly magazine "We Alone" was recently awarded exclusive photographic rights to the royal wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles. All they have asked for is two clear shots.

And ...

Last month in Ireland, a criminal gang in Dublin had the audacity to break into the police headquarters and steal all of the toilets. Police have nothing to go on.

Blaise Joshua
Blaise Joshua

Jun-8-2005 14:05

Mental note: Don't ever tell either of those again at a party : o )

Madame Giry
Madame Giry

Jun-8-2005 15:16

Why not Blaise

Lady Grey
Lady Grey

Jun-8-2005 15:20

On a similar note:
"Thieves today broke into Scotland Yard and stole all the chief superintendants' spectacles. Police are looking to question a man described as a Dark grey Blur"


Blaise Joshua
Blaise Joshua

Jun-8-2005 16:57

Because, Madame Giry, after two days of posting them, not even a polite chuckle! Hint taken : o )

mackenzie robbin
mackenzie robbin

Jun-8-2005 20:35

Blaise they were pretty good. Thought the second was funnier than the first.
funny Lady Grey. *needs to think of a good sleuth joke to post*

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