I heart stupidity. When you see it, post it here. I'll start.
Some of you know that I've do some teaching of first year sociology students in university. I really enjoy it, and love my students, but -GAWD- grading their work is a nightmare.
Through the course of a year, they have to write short essays on a range of topics ---feminism, Karl Marx, education, Freud, crime, etc. I feel kinda guilty laughing at these because of course they are writing under extreme pressure, but holy bobo I find them funny! Every so often, they write something so frickin' hysterical that it makes me gag laughing. These fleeting gems, I collect. Thought y'all might get a kick out of some of them.
Here we go. (nb, all typos and grammar boo boos are theirs from here on, not mine)
"Education is not really as old as many people think. It all came about in
the 1960s when the Russians were more advanced with outerspace."
"There is no evidence of women in society until the late 1990s"
"Freud is the classic theory of gender he believes the boy has the penis the girl has the clitoris simple as that"
"Freud said that a boy who plays too many dolls might be a p_ssy in later life"
"Feminists think women are the lowest of the low"
"Education is bias it only works for children who come from families where the parents are rich white and male"
"Hitlar believed in the destroying the Jews, however, his dictation only lasted until he was alive, after it was forgotten."
"Weber saw society from his eyes"
"someone from the low class is no good to us. we don't see them as nonsuccessful. That is because of sociology"
"Max Weber is a known and accredited sociologist"
"All around us in our society it is, said to be all around us these 'bureacracy' for example God is higher than Jeesus. The boss."
A friend of mine recently, on hearing the news that her sister was pregnant:
My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
My boss after working on our car fleet all day then went to lunch with me and at dessert ordered the Mitsubishi mudcake.
Me. Right now.
I cleared a suspect through research. Went to write "clear" beside their name.
And wrote their name instead.
Shook my head, erased it.
Did it again.
Went 'wow, this hunt is taking it's toll'. Erased it.
Wrote "crunchpatty" instead.
Washed Up Punter
I work in Niagara Falls, Canada. We constantly have people come in and ask when we "turn the falls off." Huh??? Apparently they think we Canadians have mastered one of the natural wonders of the world and can simply shut it off.
I was also asked, once, where the "ski resort around here" was, by a couple who had just crossed the border on a super hot, sunny, summer day in July with their ski gear. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Did we forget to mention that Canada is all snow, all the time, even if you were just in the sun 500 feet away? (This is a true story!)
I work at a movie theatre, and we often get "What time is your 7:00 show at?" Oh, you know... 8:30. It certainly isn't at 7:00. That would be stupid.
I work in a translation company that translates form Arabic to English. Since i am the copyeditor, i get all sorts of nonsense. Crunch, this is a great place for me to share my pain! .... Waiting for the next nonsnse sentence to show up...
I've got a beautiful one...
A drunk sorority-type woman decides to sing "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani one night at one of my shows. So she gets into it, gyrating drunkenly, and actually getting some words right in between her mumbling and shouting. Anyway, for those of you that don't know, there's a bridge to the song where Gwen sings "This *bleep* is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S" repeatedly. So the song ends, and she turns over to me and in the most sincere face I have ever seen on a drunk woman, exclaims:
"I never knew what that spelled before!"
Better spelling through karaoke, people...
LMAO yeah sleuthville y'all bringing the stupid like I knew you could! This *bleep* is S-T-U-P-I-D, yo.
Ranier: You're killing me! When I was a little kid, my family used to rent a cottage in an area that happened to be popular with folks from Michigan as well. I kid you not when I tell you that one of these guys asked me if dogs are allowed in Canada. Because he worked at the dog food plant -guess he wondered where his dehydrated turkey giblets were going or something. Plus the Niagara Falls thing - I have lots of family around there, so I know it's crazy to begin with...any money spent on Clifton Hill might eventually end up in my pocket, so, like WORK HARDER dammit!
Tinuviel: I need my daily stupid, so I'm hoping you get someone who thinks that 'Chokeran' is Arabic for "can I puke here?". Please do share the nonsense.
Squirrel: okay that's so stupid it's hedging on unfair. Like 'stupid steroids' unfair. What was he served when he ordered the Mitsubishi? Three diamonds, steaming hot on the hood of a toyota?
an exchange student came to our high school, and one of my class mates asked him where he was from. After he replied, "Germany", she asked him, "so if you're german, what language do they speak there?"
i was on a cruise on the Pacific Ocean and my brother and i were sitting in our room looking at the water line that was just below our window. He looks up quizzically and asks me, "so...what altitude do you think we are at?"
Ok, today's sentences:
It is well-known for my friends and intimates,..
I see that inter-religion tolerance is the real genius to maintain life on planet Earth.
Nevertheless, this will never bring back our deaths or rebuild our destruction.
Experience shows that using oil may horrify consumers.
However, in the long term, this may open up an opportunity for the buyers to dispose of it.
And misfortunes always come together.
Indeed, they do! Stay tuned in for more! :)
someone who turns on their blinker expressly to change lanes, then forgets about it (how do you do that in the time it takes to change lanes?) and proceeds to drive an entire two or three miles with it flashing (like a bright red sign reading, ''Hey, I'm stupid!!''), and it only turns off when they actually make a right turn...
*bangs head against computer*