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Jul-2-2005 11:10

"A polite way in saying someone is dumb."

1) A few clown short of a circus.
2) A few fries short of a happy meal.
3) A few beers short of a six-pack.
4) Doesn't have all cornflakes in one box.
5) The wheels are spinning, but he hampster's dead.
6) One Froot Loop short of a full bowl.
7) One taco short of a combo plate.
8) A few feathers short of a whole duck.
9) All foam and no beer.
10) Body by Fisher Price and brains by Mattel.
11) Couldn't put water out of a boot even with the instructions on the heel.
12) Chimmey's clogged.
13) Doesn't have all his dogs on a leash.
14) Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.
15) Her sewing machine is out of thread.
16) His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
17) Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
18) Reciever is off the hook.
19) Too much yardage between the goal posts
20) Skylight leaks alittle.
21) The light is on but nobody is home

Sep-27-2005 11:26

Great voice LED! Ok, I don't know who Kiwi is, but I've seen an actress on Saturday Night Live, that's a regular on the show, that often says, "I'm a superstar," and I think she sings out loud.....hehe. Though I've rarely watched it I have flipped through the channels and seen her skits and she's hilarious. Is this her?

Sep-27-2005 12:07

Kia Ora,

A Kiwi is a Native Bird of NZ with is rather unique and endangered.

It is also the name of a fruit (Kiwifruit which are just called Kiwis elsewhere) which somehow became a NZ fruit after stealing it off the Chinese.
When my Mother was young they were still sometimes called Chinese Gooseberries.
You may also find the fruit Kiwi now marketed as Zestiberi or variations of that spelling.

However, the Kiwi (as in Native Bird) has become an internationally recognised icon and as such people from New Zealand are sometimes called Kiwi especially overseas. However, some people find this term as offensive as some American's find the term Yankee.

For more information of the Kiwi (as a native bird) check out this website where you will also find information on those "emu-looking thigees" and the giant eagle that ate them.

http://www.kcc.org.nz/sitemap.asp

Kia Kaha.

Sep-27-2005 12:10

There are also links to quizzes on this page, but I would recommend everyone check out and do the Quiz which is posted under Daily Pub Quizzes on the Gumshoe Lounge Boards.

Sep-27-2005 12:45

hehe, Lady Emerald, I did know there was a Kiwi bird, but the info above does fit this actress, because she is unique and endangered. Really, I like her because she's different when it comes to comedy:)

Sep-27-2005 13:46

Ok, I remembered her name, it's "Molly Shannon,"

Sep-27-2005 14:15

Con't from above:

DaRu is up on the stage telling one of her lame jokes, when suddenly a man walked into the bar and.....

Sep-28-2005 05:34

OW!

Sep-30-2005 15:49

Ok, "This is a true story that happened to me"

One cool winter's night I decided to sleep with my bedroom window open that was right beside my bed. From this window was the view of the back yard & at the edge of the back yard, lots of brush & trees. That night after drifting into a deep slumber, a skunk made it's way up the small wood pile beneath the window, & up onto my bed. As it crawled across me it woke me up & I let out a loud scream, at which time the skunk sprayed my bed & room good, then ran back out through my window.That morning I went to school,but nobody could stand the smell. By second hour English teacher kept stiffing the air and finally asked, "Where is that skunk order coming from," and everyone pointing at me..lol. Needless to say, she sent me to the office with a note explaining to the principal, & I was sent home for a few days, or at least until the order was dealt with..lol. It took a couple of weeks to rid of the smell in my room entirely, but I returned to school in a few days. Well, guess the only good thing out of this was, a free vacation..hehe. Anyway, since then I've never slept with the windows open at night, & only use a fan.

Sep-30-2005 15:54

Correction: By second period, my English teacher started sniffing the air & finally asked, "Where is that skunk order coming from?" and everyone in class started pointing at me.

Sep-30-2005 16:23

A neighbor of mine had a skunk sneak into their house through their garage. She found it when their 3 year old girl ran into the living room and fell down. Her mom bent down to pick up her daughter and found herself nose to nose with the skunk, who was hiding under their living room sofa.
They left it alone and put some fruit on outside their front door with the door open. When night came their guest snuck off. They have his escape on camera. And they were so good to see it go!