Come Share & Enjoy Humor!
"A polite way in saying someone is dumb."
1) A few clown short of a circus.
2) A few fries short of a happy meal.
3) A few beers short of a six-pack.
4) Doesn't have all cornflakes in one box.
5) The wheels are spinning, but he hampster's dead.
6) One Froot Loop short of a full bowl.
7) One taco short of a combo plate.
8) A few feathers short of a whole duck.
9) All foam and no beer.
10) Body by Fisher Price and brains by Mattel.
11) Couldn't put water out of a boot even with the instructions on the heel.
12) Chimmey's clogged.
13) Doesn't have all his dogs on a leash.
14) Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.
15) Her sewing machine is out of thread.
16) His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
17) Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
18) Reciever is off the hook.
19) Too much yardage between the goal posts
20) Skylight leaks alittle.
21) The light is on but nobody is home
Correction: A few clowns short of a circus & The wheels are spinning, but the hampster is dead.
Or "Not the brightest crayon in the box" heehee
Or "Batting on a sticky wicket"
Wasn't there a losing marbles one?
jstkdn the saying is he doesn't have all of his marbles and here is another one, his breadd is only buttered on one side. This last one is used alot in Texas.
not the brightest bulb in the box
not the sharpest knife in the drawer
not the sharpest tool in the shed
fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down (can also be used with ugly tree)
couldn't find his butt with two hands and a map
couldn't find his way out of a paper bag with a map and a flashlight.....
that's all i've got for now. :)
I like the tree one autumnspring. I have to remember a few of the above, I like snappy come back backs. I always use one french fry short of a happy meal or lights are on nobody is home.
These are the ones I had hanging my office.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted world-view.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you being competent.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.
Are you a freaking ray of sunshine every day?
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You!... Off my planet!
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
What am I?... Flypaper for freaks!
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
LOL! My favor quote is from Siefeld:
"...Not that theres anything wrong with that!"