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A Real Funny Joke
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DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-20-2005 20:14

Alex and Jack were always debating
whether Jesus was black or white.
Alex always said that Jesus was white,
and Jack always said that Jesus was black.
But, as fate would have it,
both Alex and Jack died on the same day
and went to Heaven.
When they got there
they rushed to the Pearly Gates,
to St. Peter and said,
"We have debabed all of our lives,
if Jesus is black, or white."
So, please tell us,
"is Jesus black, or white?"
When about that time Jesus walks up and says,
"Buenos Dias."

Replies

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-21-2005 11:53

Thought I'd send some jokes since this is the joke page heehee

Vanilla Pudding Robbery

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

ewwww :)

Envy
Envy

Jun-21-2005 12:00

oh my...*feeling a bit quesy* I guess that's karma working it's own justice...

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-21-2005 12:02

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we
put
into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,
years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our
drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of
all
and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it
is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating
it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row
raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
************************************
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and
>>> orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner
>>> table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,
>>> meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house
>>> today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine
>>> looking woman!"
>>>
>>> The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are
>>> confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a
>>> hat.
>>>
>>> The drunk leans on the table again and says:
>>>
>>> "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever
>>> had!"
>>>
>>> The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker
>>> still says nothing.
>>>
>>> The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you
>>> something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
>>>
>>> At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders
>>> looks him s

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-21-2005 12:04

square in the eyes and says "Grandpa! Go home, you are drunk!!" teehee

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-21-2005 14:55

Hahaha, hehehe, great jokes Makensie. Oh yeah, I'm with Envy about your first joke making me feel a bit sick to my tummy....yulk!...but it was funny. You're a mess..lol.

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-22-2005 16:11

Hey, I was teasing...I LOVED THEM Makensie.
"Here is a Detective's Joke:
---------------------------------
Three young men were in training to become detectives. On the first day the policeman in charge shows the first trainee a picture for 5 seconds, then hides it and says, "This is your suspect, how would you reconize him?" "That's easy, I'd catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well, eh, that's because the picture I showed is his side profile. Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture to the second trainee for 5 seconds and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you reconize him?", The second trainee smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course you see only one eye and one ear because this is the suspects side profile. Is that the best answer you can come up with? Extremely frustrated at this point, the policeman shows the picture to the thrid trainee, and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you reconize him? "The third trainee studies the picture intently for a few moments then says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well that's an interesting answer." "Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office and checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow!, I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. GOOD WORK!!" "So, how were you able to make this observation?" "That's easy, the third trainee replied! He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one ear and one eye."


Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-22-2005 22:24

LOL!!! Good one Daru!!

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-23-2005 13:12

Thanks you my dear. I told texan this story makes me think of "The Three Stooges."

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-23-2005 13:20

Gees, my reply sounds retarded. "Thanks you?"- lol.

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-26-2005 12:10

Hello, Yes you? If you are reading this thread, then you must be an internet addict. Have you been looking at your screen for hours on end? Are you blury eyed? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Have you been outside? Do you know what time of the day or week it is? Then you are in need of help.

Here is a brief checklist designed to determine if you are an internet addict.

DO YOU:

1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?

2) Check emails more than five times a day?

3) Spend more time chatting and browsing online, rather than eating or sleeping?

4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
5) Leave your name and information at countless sites in hopes you'll receive a reply one day from a company that you'll never do buisness with, and actually deletes the message in the trash bin before opening and reading it?
6)Log on before important personal habits, such as a meal preparation, hygience or bodily functions?
7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?
8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you would usually be gripping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box?
10) All of the above?

If you have seven or more of these syptoms, then you are an addict and need to contact, Internetaholics Anonymous, who can help you. They are a non-profit society of recoverying addicts your yourself that provides support and counseling through weekly meetings designed to help you cope with your problem. They feature a twelve step recovery program and in extreme cases, intervention. Althought it is their firm belief that you are never "cured," you most certaintly can recover and lead a normal life once again.

Contact them at Phone No: 1-800-555-555-5555 or email them at: hht:/www.pcaddiction.com

PLEASE NOTE: Your addiction is serious if you try using either the phone number and email address...lol

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