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A Real Funny Joke
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DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-20-2005 20:14

Alex and Jack were always debating
whether Jesus was black or white.
Alex always said that Jesus was white,
and Jack always said that Jesus was black.
But, as fate would have it,
both Alex and Jack died on the same day
and went to Heaven.
When they got there
they rushed to the Pearly Gates,
to St. Peter and said,
"We have debabed all of our lives,
if Jesus is black, or white."
So, please tell us,
"is Jesus black, or white?"
When about that time Jesus walks up and says,
"Buenos Dias."

Replies

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-20-2005 20:16

Correction: debated all of our lives


DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-21-2005 08:27

Here's a few lawyer jokes, thought some would enjoy, and you'd get a big laugh jstkdn..lol.

Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.
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Lawyer: "Now that you've been acquitted, please tell me the truth? Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."
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Did you hear about the Post Office that had to recall it's series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on.
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One juror was overheard saying to another juror....."If you'll notice, neither the prosecutor or defense attorney swore to tell the truth."
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Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case, "Look," said one to the other, "Let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. Then, that was the end of the conversation.
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There's an interesting new novel about two ex-convicts. One of them studies to become a lawyer, and the other decides to go straight.
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A lawyer named, "STRANGE," was shopping for a tombstone. After he made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it? "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter." "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave." "However, I could put," "Here lies an honest lawyer." "But, that would let people know who it is," protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter."People will read it and say "That's strange
-------------------------------------------------When lawyers dies, they lie still


DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-21-2005 08:55

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested, and his lips are moving.
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Lawyers and UFO's are alike because you always hear about them, but never see them
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PLEASE NOTE: Not all lawyers are like this...lol....anyway, (WE LOVE YOU JSTKDN!!!!)

jstkdn
jstkdn
Well-Connected

Jun-21-2005 10:01

I won't say a word. As someone who enjoys lawyer jokes, I once in another community posted a joke about a doctors. To get all the doctors on my case. :)

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-21-2005 11:06

Well, actually these jokes I can relate to, since I was involved in the handling of legal matters for many years, so we can laugh together...hehe, hehe.

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-21-2005 11:53

Thought I'd send some jokes since this is the joke page heehee

Vanilla Pudding Robbery

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

ewwww :)

Envy
Envy

Jun-21-2005 12:00

oh my...*feeling a bit quesy* I guess that's karma working it's own justice...

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-21-2005 12:02

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we
put
into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,
years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our
drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of
all
and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it
is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating
it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row
raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
************************************
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and
>>> orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner
>>> table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,
>>> meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house
>>> today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine
>>> looking woman!"
>>>
>>> The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are
>>> confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a
>>> hat.
>>>
>>> The drunk leans on the table again and says:
>>>
>>> "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever
>>> had!"
>>>
>>> The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker
>>> still says nothing.
>>>
>>> The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you
>>> something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
>>>
>>> At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders
>>> looks him s

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-21-2005 12:04

square in the eyes and says "Grandpa! Go home, you are drunk!!" teehee

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-21-2005 14:55

Hahaha, hehehe, great jokes Makensie. Oh yeah, I'm with Envy about your first joke making me feel a bit sick to my tummy....yulk!...but it was funny. You're a mess..lol.

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