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Jun-7-2005 08:09

i was out of town this past weekend on a church outing. I had ben talking to my best friend about her choices and she chose drugs over jesus like the song . i came home to a dead best friend. do any of ya'll know anything to help take my mind off of it? what is ya'lls thoughts on suicide?

Jun-8-2005 12:28

My prayers are with you.

Jun-8-2005 23:26

Angel,
Several people on here have mentioned that you shouldn't try to go through this alone. You have already made steps in this direction by sharing with us and asking for our prayers. I think P. Rockwell is right:

"Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.”
This is in God's control, He will be with you through this and will support you in raising her son. It is a complement to your character that she chose you to write a note to and especially that she wanted you to raise her son. Have the faith in yourself that she did. Know that we are here for you and will help in any way possible. You are in my prayers,
Yours in Christ,
Amber

Jun-9-2005 02:16

no your not selfish.. I have had a very close freind cie and it is natural to go throught the anger and loathing that one goes through when someone close dies. I am a drug addict (recovering) so I understand completely what you are feeling..SUicide is not going to bring her back..it is only temporarily reflief for pain that will pass with time..Besides, if you are a believer in GOD, he will be your rock when you are in pain..just pray and cry and tell HIM how you feel and he will ease your pain. Be a mother to that boy, because he needs you right now and remember that your friend would not have wanted you to suffer so much.. It may be something that you don't believe right now, but everything will be okay! (One day at a time) is my Motto!
If you want to talk, I am here..send a message

Jun-10-2005 12:32

Sweetie, it breaks my heart to find this out & I'm so sorry you've suffered the loss of a great friend. I read some facts about suicide that I'd like to share with you, and I hope it helps.

As a survivor you usually go into shock at first, then emotional numbness. You can't believe it happened. It feels you're watching someone elses nightmare....then you feel confused as to why your friend felt the need to take his/her life. Though you may never know the reasons why, you have to realize you probably never will in order to heal. The suicide takes you through different feelings,
1) Grief, which makes you cry often and anything can trigger it, but tears are honest expressions of how you feel about losing your friend.
2) Despair-You have feelings of sadness because of the loss, which can make you lose your appetite, lack of sleep, loss of energy, and relationships. This can cause you to be depressed.
3) Anger-You may become furious even at close friends, family, your physician, or even at yourself, for feeling something or someone could have prevented it. Someone should have seen it coming, or picked up on clues. Then you may even feel angry at your friend for committing this act and for causing all the pain that's hurting others and you, however, this is another healing process.
4) Guilt-The "if only" that keeps bugging you over and over. If only you had seen it coming; noticed warning signs, or done something to help. Perhaps contacted a doctor or insisted he/she sought professional help/counseling. But, in time you'll come to realize it wasn't your fault.

It's common for suicide survivors to develope depression, or experience intense post-traumatic stress. This can cause nightmares and make you afraid of experiencing tender emotions, or keep you away from people, going places, or enjoying places you use to share with your friend, but because it reminds you of your friend, you can't do it anymore, or go there.

You've done the right by posting this thread

Jun-10-2005 12:45

I must agree with everything that's already been said.

The loss of a friend is one of the hardest things you have to deal with in life. In my experience, a good support system is the best way to get through it.

Whether you find your support through religion, family, friends, professional help, or even anonymous people on a message board that care about each other, the important thing is that you have people around you that care and are willing to help.

Jun-10-2005 12:52

and seeking help from your friends here. We want to be a support group, in helping you deal with the heartache & grief you feel. Though I'm certaintly not an expert, I do understand what you're going through because I too lost my first counsin who hung himself. It nearly distroyed my Aunt & our family. You may never know why, but in time with the help of others, your pain will numb. On days you're feeling sad or blue, please don't hold your feelings in, but let them out by talking to someone whose a good listener, like your friends here. We can help divert your attention on something else, and prayerfully say what is needed. I will share this with Texan, and we'll keep you and your friend's family in our prayers. God bless you sweetie.

Jun-10-2005 13:20

PS: I didn't mean to type such a long message, but in oder to share it all I had too. Also, there is one more important thing I left out and I wanted to say that you're not alone. There is a famous picture that's been sold for years across America, entitled, "Footprints in the Sand," and just know that the Lord is carrying you right now so rest in the comfort of his loving arms. As Christy Lane sings, and Hartigay mentioned above, "One day at a time sweet Jesus", One day at a time, with Him, will lead us home. Your Sister in Christ, DaRu

Jun-10-2005 13:51

Angel, It is a terrible and tradgic thing to lose anyone,especially to sucide.I am so very sorry for your grief and loss. I cannot imagine how you must feel but just remember that God is in control. I can remember losing my father in natural death and I can still feel the sting of that moment of knowing the finality of It all. But I can say that time really does heal,It may not seem so now but each and every day that passes God gives you strength to face another day.No one know's the heartache's and the difficulties we all face each day nor the state of mind that your dear friend was in...But God does,for God is a merciful God.As the word say's, He know's the thought's and intent of the heart.We all will be praying for you that God will give you the strength to face this time in your life. Remember that God know's and God care's....

Jun-10-2005 15:15

My heart goes out to you, Angel. That's something no one should have to experiance.
It's good that she had a Christian influence from you, God was working through you to help her. But I agree with jstkdn, God takes people for reasons only he knows.

Glad to have been there for you. :)