CONTEST: THE EPIC ODE
"But Anikka," you say, "didn't you just do a contest?"
Yeah, yeah I did. :-) Almost like Christmas, isn't it.
So, the idea here is to write an Epic Ode to Sleuth. Maybe not as epic as some other epic odes, but kinda on the epic side. So, why is it starting so early and running for so long? Because it's not so easy to write an epic ode, that's why. There's a ton of tweaking. Maybe. And just in case there is, you've got plenty of time to work it.
Your ode must consist of 8-12 four-line stanzas (32-48 lines) and be about a Sleuth-related subject.
Spelling counts. (When doesn't it? Never!)
Your poem must flow. Read it out loud to yourself, you will know if it doesn't seem right. There is no set rhythm, so make your own.
You must follow the following rhyming pattern: AABA, BBCB, CCDC, etc. The last stanza must have the A rhyme in the third line.
Please, no more than ONE entry per person. Make sure you're happy with what you have before committing it to the thread.
Entries must be posted no later than 11:59 PM server time on October 25, 2007.
Lilangel will be posting an example so that you can see what the rhyming pattern looks like. Please keep in mind that you are not required to write with a Noir voice, or in any vernacular.
Yes, I'm actually announcing the prize this time. There is one prize:
A two-room apartment and $100,000 to go toward furniture. ($300,000)
In the event of a two-way tie, each winner will get a one-room apartment and $70,000 to go toward furniture. ($150,000 per person)
Prizes are compliments of Lilangel, Stooby, and Anikka.
Get those pencils and typing fingers revved and ready! And...... GO!
(Sorry, it cut the end off)
And that’s the end of this little po’m,
Of the strangest, easiest case, fought out in the cold.
So, all you detectives, both big and small,
Give a hand to Anikka for The Epic Ode!
ODE TO THE TREASURE HUNT
It all began with this game we call Sleuth
We all have fun and try to be couth
The game is filled with treasures to hunt
Getting the right favor is like pulling a tooth.
We go to the townies, and really are blunt
If the barber is needed, that’s who we confront
It’s very upsetting to hear, “I don’t need anything right now”
As we walk away mumbling “I just did 3 cases you dumb little runt”
We consult other agents and have a pow-wow
One of us must get it, someway, somehow
When we hear what we want, we get right to work
We then send the killer to the hoosegow
For doing the favor, we get a pearl handled dirk
If it’s a key hunt we call it a perk
At least one of us has the safe cracking skill
We work to the next favor, as other killers still lurk
We need to more keys to go for the kill
While one of us solves, the others just chill
This hunts almost over, we’ll soon have the treasure
At least that’s the wish we try to fulfill
On to the next favor, we’re working together
The reward for this favor is boots made of leather
The end is in sight, one more and we can crack
Getting that trophy will bring us all pleasure
The hunt moves to London, a minor setback
We send the safecracker first, we’re on the right track
Inside that safe, we knows there’s a tome
The safe is now open, our guys got that knack
Eye Spy takes the trophy and puts it in their dome
So now it is time to wrap up this poem
This hunt was fun, that’s the Gods honest truth
Much thanks to our leaders, woody and CarrieMehome
Sleuth About Town
I awake with a headache and feeling quite foul
After spending a bit too much time in the Owl
The buzz of the Agency echoes around
Whilst Mabelle, the clerk, glances up with a scowl
Before I continue, a bit of background
My father, a banker, respected & sound
Made one huge mistake, and it cost him the earth
Literally - dead - in a box in the ground
A life full of ease, to one without mirth
Continually striving for something of worth
From workhouse, to street, to a sleuth - nothing less
A new name to signal this point of re-birth
My story - to date - one of hard-earned success
With beret & boots - always dressed to impress
My character: street-smart - with both brawn and brains
The Tommy Gun? Well, just for those who transgress
"Phoenix!" Oh dear. The blood from my face drains
"Is it you who's responsible for all these stains?"
The rest of the Agents are gone in a flash
With Mabelle's cold stare on the one who remains
A stuttered apology and then a quick dash
To clean up the stains (and the cigarette ash)
Then off out the door, with a wad of case files,
Some items of gear, and a bit of spare cash
When working a case, it can take several miles
To question all suspects, with glares and false smiles
The Tommy Gun works when they button their lips
But it needs more than force to see through all their wiles
Learn skills, pick up contacts and look out for tips
A grateful townsperson - a sleuth they'll equip
And when your feet itch to see more of this land
Then broaden horizons, by trains or by ships
When going abroad, it's good to have planned
So you have the right kit (and some cash close at hand)
From London to Delhi, New York to Shanghai
(Watch out though, when travelling, for that Pirate Band)
Good will, from those pirates, is in short supply
They're blockading Cairo, they won't let you by
You'll have to rely on your own trickery
Which should be a breeze for a smart Private Eye
Sleuth About Town
There's one other place, far away, 'cross the sea
Shangri La is its name, land of deep mystery
It's borders are closed, except to a few
The Prince's Ambassador: he holds the key
My story must end - I've so much still to do
This case is a doozy (4 footprints from shoes)
Treasure Hunts, missions, the madness won't end!
So from Phoenix - the Shadow - I bid you, "Adieu"
The Paradoxes of Sleuth
Whenever I come back into Sleuth-City,
It seems something is missing: a kitty,
Someone's life, a priceless treasure is gone.
Why can't people learn to hold on to their pretty?
The butcher's friend was found dead on his lawn.
He was brutally killed this past dawn.
But will the butcher help me with the case: No.
Her willingness to find the killer was withdrawn.
I decided to take a break, and WHOA!
The speakeasy was full of newbies seeking help from a pro.
I wanted to help, but some of them just drove me insane.
Took out my pistol, wanting to give them a blow.
I returned to my case, the death of a Wayne.
Solving cases for clues that I must obtain.
One of the townspersons I must catch,
The co-conspirator of a Villain to detain.
La Cosa Nostra sent me for info to snatch.
The Fortune Teller had questions for me to hatch.
Strange how they all related to Noir books,
Even more how only two out of three I must match.
Searched the crime scene, checked all the nooks.
I know not to bother with second looks.
It's always a note, a print, a thread, or a hair.
For Christmas, get some new evidence for the crooks.
If there's one thing Sleuth taught me, it's Sleuther: BEWARE!
Stay faithful; don't you dare have an affair.
And you're dead if you ever forget a birthday.
So best leave Sleuth-City, or take great care.
I'm amazed, I really am, at every Cliché.
I laugh at the same paradoxes twelve times everyday.
What's next, Fezzy Benny? All my suspects will be:
Jean Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Monet?
Rigo J. Mortis
The Mishaps of a New Sleuth
New York, New York! Adventure Incarnate!
I'll be great! A detective garnet!
I've a brilliant, clever, matchless mind!
Two wrong accusations so soon? DARNIT!
“Shady, Shady! I'm in a bind!
I need your help if you'd be so kind!”
“Make me an offer, I've got to be places..”
I might be clean, but he's robbed me blind!
I roll up my sleeves, I tighten my laces.
It'll be hard work, getting back to the races.
I'll have more money by the end of the night.
If only I'd remembered I'd run out of cases!
I head for bed, but see a light.
The bar is still open, to my delight.
The tender sees me and asks me a favor.
I accept her request, but mutter in spite.
I finish my drink, trying to savor.
I set down my mug and remember the flavor.
I leave the bar and set out on my quest,
Reminding myself that my skills cannot waver.
I remind myself “I'm the best of the best.”
I'm a detective ace, I need no rest.
I assemble my tools and recall my skills.
My heart nearly pounding out of my chest.
A murderer amok, racking up kills.
I don't mind, it pays the bills.
I see the clues and I attack.
I easily finish and head for the hills.
I'm done for the day, I'll hit the sack.
But in the morning, I'll be back.
Wide awake and ready for action.
I know I'll need my coffee black.
The morning comes, I need traction.
Cash has no part inside of inaction.
I go out, do my cases with ease.
I'm getting bored; No satisfaction.
New York is boring so I head overseas.
En route, an older detective gives me a tease.
Obviously his better, I give his ego a ride.
My body gets riddled to look like swiss cheese.
The moral of the story? Avoidance of pride.
Honor your elders, take advice in stride.
I've learned my lesson, but it's far too late.
And now I've gone and senselessly died!
Great job, Everyone!! Good luck to all of you. ;-)
Rigo J. Mortis
So when do we find out? I like Jojo's.
Sleuth About Town
Well, that was fun,
The time is done,
Hope you enjoyed it,
There will soon be another one.
Sleuth About Town
You will find out when the judges have gotten together and decided... that's the system of things with these contests.
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