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CONTEST: Fill My Tummy!
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Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Sep-18-2007 18:11

The premise: Using a given opening line and closing line, you must write a Noir mystery story to fill the space between opening and closing (fill the tummy, so to speak).

The rules:

* Entry must be ten sentences (not including opening and closing lines). There is no word limit, but run-on sentences are considered structurally incorrect and one word sentences are considered a cop-out. :-)

* Not counting their use in the opening and closing lines provided, words may only be used once. There are a few exceptions to this rule.

* Exceptions to the previous rule can be used no more than three times within the course of your ten sentences. The exceptions are the following words: "A", "I", "the", "that", "they"

* Spelling and grammar DO count.

* Opening and closing lines are interchangeable. You can use line #1 as your first or your last line, and the same for line #2. However, you may not use the same line for both beginning and end.

* All entries must be posted no later than 11:59 PM server time on September 28, 2007.


Yes, I have, indeed, worked out a story of my own to make sure it can be done while following the above rules. I'll post it after contest closing, if anyone wants to see it.

Finally, remember - the Thesaurus is your friend.


OPENING AND CLOSING LINES:

1. Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.

2. Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."

Replies

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Sep-29-2007 21:39

the random ? marks must be from the copy and paste, sorry.

Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Sep-30-2007 22:29

Okay, first of all, everyone who entered deserves a HUGE pat on the back. This was not an easy contest - it ended up being a little harder than I wanted it to be. I promise, I'm not a sadist. No, really I'm not.

Also, THANKS to the judges: Arabella Parker, Lady Jas, and Lilangel. You ladies are wonderful!

So, we had three entries within the time frame - detectivehappy, ctown28, and David Adams. Sadly, Secret Squirrel doesn't know how to tell time. It's a shame, and now he needs to win a contest that has a watch as a prize. Hmm.

Congratulations to David Adams, our winner!! Don Pardo, tell him what he's won! What? What do you mean we couldn't get Don Pardo? Oh, bah.

Well, David has won $100,000 in Sleuth cash. Way to go, David!

And, just for those of you who may have been wondering, yes, I DID write an example to make sure it could be done. Here it is.



Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.

Why would he hide? They say his girl, Gertie, is looking for him. Benny couldn't hope to stay invisible forever. She found her man, and stabbed that creep.

A knife was carved from ice and sharpened. It slashed the snitch's throat, blood flowing swiftly. Hot water splashed into a sink, melting icy death.

Men came; they were the Law! Badges flashed and a search ensued. In the end, they uncovered nothing.

Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."

Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Sep-30-2007 22:31

Oh, and to those of you who worked on a story but couldn't complete it on time, I'd still love to see what you came up with!

Lady Jas
Lady Jas
The Chosen One

Sep-30-2007 23:01

Congratultions David! And congratulations to all the contestants. It was fun reading all your wonderful stories!

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Sep-30-2007 23:02

(Yes I'll enter any comp. that has a Sleuth watch as first prize! )

Now... Congrats David :) good job man! I especially liked the "ask people that don’t exist" line, that was nifty.


detectivehappy
detectivehappy
Old Shoe

Oct-1-2007 09:46

Congratulations David! This contest was really hard :-D

Fizzlewig Trapspringer
Fizzlewig Trapspringer
Narrator

Oct-1-2007 11:10

I realize it's too late for the contest, but I might as well post this anyway.


Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.
We searched everywhere, and all I had for our trouble was a headache.

Officer Browning did his best to keep out of trouble.
Ludvig’s Music Emporium appeared next on Bob’s list.

Crack!
An alleyway door burst open.
Racing down the narrow throughway, my instincts came alive.
Tripping over a garbage can, I stumbled, but quickly righted myself.
Rising up, I spotted a familiar face.

The flatfoot bellowed, “Halt!”
Girtie slowed as the law came up beside me.
Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."

ctown28
ctown28
Tireless Tiger

Oct-1-2007 16:28

I agree David, fantabulous job, I didn't think I'd win to begin with using such short sentences, but as soon as I saw yours, I knew you would be the winner!

Congrats!!!

lilangel
lilangel
Sleuth About Town

Oct-1-2007 16:58

Congrats David! I can say as a judge... all entries were fun to read. It truly is amazing to see other sleuthers with such talents.

David Adams
David Adams
Red-Nosed

Oct-1-2007 21:13

A watch for a prize....Just might have to enter that one myself; it'll keep me outta hot water next time I'm late for dinner with the wife. ;-)

Glad you liked the story, Squirrel. (Just an ol' line from my Army days, really.) Your story was absolutely wonderful to read. Wish it could have been considered.

Congratulations to Happy and Ctown also for their amazing stories. They both did a fantastic job, and should be incredibly proud of their efforts. Great job, you two!!! :-)

Thank you, Anikka and the judges, Arabella, Jas, and Lilangel, for contributing your time and efforts for all our sakes. It's greatly appreciated, ladies. :-)

Finally, to Fizzlewig (hope I got your name right there...), that's an incredible story!!! Great job, bud! Congratulations! :-D

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