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CONTEST: Fill My Tummy!
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Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Sep-18-2007 18:11

The premise: Using a given opening line and closing line, you must write a Noir mystery story to fill the space between opening and closing (fill the tummy, so to speak).

The rules:

* Entry must be ten sentences (not including opening and closing lines). There is no word limit, but run-on sentences are considered structurally incorrect and one word sentences are considered a cop-out. :-)

* Not counting their use in the opening and closing lines provided, words may only be used once. There are a few exceptions to this rule.

* Exceptions to the previous rule can be used no more than three times within the course of your ten sentences. The exceptions are the following words: "A", "I", "the", "that", "they"

* Spelling and grammar DO count.

* Opening and closing lines are interchangeable. You can use line #1 as your first or your last line, and the same for line #2. However, you may not use the same line for both beginning and end.

* All entries must be posted no later than 11:59 PM server time on September 28, 2007.


Yes, I have, indeed, worked out a story of my own to make sure it can be done while following the above rules. I'll post it after contest closing, if anyone wants to see it.

Finally, remember - the Thesaurus is your friend.


OPENING AND CLOSING LINES:

1. Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.

2. Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."

Replies

Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Sep-24-2007 15:22

No, actually, you can't use 'and' as many times as you like. You can use it a total of three times.

However, I will waive all rules for you, Squirrelboy, just to see what kind of story utilises the words 'cucumber' and 'stampede'. This ought to be a good one.

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Sep-24-2007 16:47

lol... well I was never great on the rules I admit :D Oh and I am having trouble finding "Benny" and "Gertie" in the thesaurus !! :s

detectivehappy
detectivehappy
Old Shoe

Sep-24-2007 21:06

I was told we can use Benny and Gertie once in our paragraph.

Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Sep-25-2007 14:34

Yes, you can, Happy. And any other way (within the rules) you can think of referring to them - within reason, of course.

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Sep-27-2007 19:52

lol Holy Exploding Prepositions Batman... dang this is hard.

detectivehappy
detectivehappy
Old Shoe

Sep-27-2007 20:29

After hours and hours of struggling, I think I got it:


Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."

"I may have a motive since those birthdays were missed, but see Chuck.

He'll tell you I was drinking yummy apple martinis."

Driving upto Body Shots, Johnny questioned Mr. Bartender regarding Gertie's alibi.

"She's here, even after that blond boyfriend of hers left."

This policeman went over the crime scene again.

Looking around an apartment, he found one interesting item.

John saw a yellow strand lying flat against the floor.

Carrying it to the local barber, our hero asked George about his curly possession.

"That's Gertrude's man, Benny's hair."

Evidence in hand, I searched for my murderer.

Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.

ctown28
ctown28
Tireless Tiger

This reply has been deleted by a Moderator

ctown28
ctown28
Tireless Tiger

Sep-28-2007 16:11

Ok, I looked this over a million times and didn't notice my mistake until I posted it lol, some kind mod please delete the previous post and lets try this one:

Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."

Policework seems to be a thankless job.

I set off for the crime scene.

Upon arriving, there was this shady looking character waiting.

Questions were asked, but answers became scarce.

After examining several areas, 1 clue was discovered.

The evidence is currently being analyzed.

While waiting, coffee and donuts are consumed.

Results from headquarters got returned.

Conclusions can only point at a single suspect.

The man began his hunt.

Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.

David Adams
David Adams
Red-Nosed

This reply has been deleted by a Moderator

David Adams
David Adams
Red-Nosed

Sep-28-2007 18:47

Okay, second try...;-)

Benny the Snitch was a hard man to find when he didn't want to be found.

How does one track somebody who doesn’t want to be located?

Simple, ask people that don’t exist, officially or otherwise.

Three days later, they found him.

Bad news though, Benny was just a little bit dead.

Worse still, the murder weapon, killer’s footprints, fingerprints, hair, and other viable evidence had disappeared too.

The only thing I discovered was an elaborately engraved locket with two circular designs on the front, and something elusive I couldn’t recognize.

Interviewing went nowhere, ‘til we came to Ben’s girlfriend, Gertie Gussert.

A dainty, floral scent floated around me as she gazed at us, beguiling eyes smiling.

The wife wears it all the time"‘Rapture’.

My partner and I exchanged glances, knowing full well our case would never stand up in court.

Gertie gave the man with the badge an icy smile and said, "You got nothing on me, copper."


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