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Dear Sleuthy...
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crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Feb-14-2007 21:37

Post with a problem or advice...

*note that this idea for a thread was shamelessly pilfered from the fertile mind of the Secret_Squirrel. (He might be short a kidney and some change too, but hey...he took a sip). As a result, and in keeping with the protocol set forth in agency case sharing half the credit is his. Half the blame too. :P

Dear Sleuthy,

I got me a problem, hoo boy. My back is itchy, right in the centre, where I can't reach it. And not just a little itchy either...it's like, epilepsy itchy. I'm convulsing like my job was volunteering for pharmaco-military lab research. I've been self-medicating with the help of this pasta fork I have downstairs, but I got people coming in for linguine tomorrow, and I need time to run it through the dishwasher at least four times.

Please advise,

Signed,

Twitching in Toronto

Replies

Jonny
Jonny
Well-Connected

Jun-8-2007 09:57

Dear Sleuthy,

I'm having trouble with my U's. I keuep adding them into inappropriate wourds. My problem all staurted about a month or so bauck when I moved into this neuw agency place, when peouple were throwing U's round with gay abandon, like monkeys wiuth turds. I staurted dropping U's from words like Favo(u)r and colo(u)r, due to peuer pressure more than anythiung else. Then I was shown that you should put U's in. But nouw I can't stop. What should I do?

Eunice U. Ulgerssun

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Jun-9-2007 01:43

Dear Eunice,

It really souunds to me like you've spent far too much time frauternizing with people from the _.S.A. I suggest a political and alphabetic reclamation of youur pride. For every U you (no, not the U You that you found dead on your shanghai suspect list) drop you U muust add one to an entireluy nonsensical wourd, say an assloaud of Hail Marys and take extra fiubre so you have suufficient ammo to return fire at those peusky mounkeys.

Happy stacking, tuurdhandler :)

Yours,

Sleuthy

Sara Lou
Sara Lou

Nov-24-2008 12:43

Dear Sleuthy,

*southern accent i.e. West Virginia*

It seems that you are every so slighty biased towards those of us down here in the GOOD OLE USA!!!!! I do believe that if it wadn't for us, y'all woudn't have nuttin' ta laugh at. Now. I ain't gonna keel ya, I'd just as well appreciate it if'n you'd watchitt. I am purty good with a hatchet.

Yers,

Hillbilly Hailey

nicnic
nicnic
Battered Shoe

Mar-8-2009 12:51

Since the message boards are pretty much dead unless there is some kind of "Gate" going on, I've been reading through some old threads. This one seems worthy of a bump ;)



detectivehappy
detectivehappy
Old Shoe

Mar-8-2009 15:12

gate?

nicnic
nicnic
Battered Shoe

Mar-8-2009 15:40

Like Watergate. You take an event and put a "Gate" on the end of it. Barry-Gate, Revival-Gate. Sorry. Sometimes I write things thinking everyone can understand what is going on in my head. :-)

ctown28
ctown28
Tireless Tiger

Mar-8-2009 19:41

I got what you meant nic, sort of like a nic-gate! ;-)

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Mar-9-2009 02:18

I remember Barry-Gate, jeez I forgot about those times.

detectivehappy
detectivehappy
Old Shoe

Mar-9-2009 13:50

seems like such a long time ago.

nicnic
nicnic
Battered Shoe

Mar-15-2009 15:17

Dear Sleuthy-

I have noticed a problem lately with college kids riding around in buses, wearing green, drinking green beer, and making a lot of noise. This is really disruptive to my normal nightly rituals of cucumber masks and bubble baths. I do not understand this phenomenon, nor do I know how to make it stop.

Please help,
Grumpy with Green

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