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Feb-4-2007 23:55

The quotable missus, during the final quarter of the Super Bowl:

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, I get it so shut up. This is the last down, and a down is like a chance. If they don't move ten yards in the direction they want to go in four chances they lose possession of the ball. There a four quarters in a game. Stop laughing; you're laughing at me. Shut up. How many downs til they get the new quarterback? Oh that man caught the ball even though he wasn't a Chicago player, now he's running the other way. I think Indianapolis will win this game."

*will let this settle before he complicates things with CFL rules*

heard anything quotable lately?

Apr-4-2007 17:07

^happened today after school^

Apr-21-2007 02:07

okay. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/ is more what I'm looking for though.

Stoned grocery stockboy #1: Hey, should I put these sandwiches with the other sandwiches?

Stoned grocery stockboy #2: Look at what's in your hands. That's mexican dip you idiot! Ain't even no bread.

Apr-21-2007 10:44

Overheard in Crunchpatty's little home office: (yes, it's bugged)

*loud snickers and giggles*
This'll be so great! I'll post about two stoned stockboys...
*more giggles*
...and they'll never know that Stoned stockboy #1 was me!!!!
*more giggles, some coughing, and a gurgle*

May-17-2007 23:26

OK for the record I have never been a stoned stockboy.

Stoned barista? Sure. Stoned student? Yuh-huhbsolutely. Stoned 7-11 iced cream thief? lol, duuuuuude, 7+ 11 TOTALLY makes 18, and that TOTALLY rhymes with iced cream.

Whoa. Did you just, like, jingle your keys, or is that a siren I hear?

The quotable Mormons on their rite-of-passage mission on the subway:


Elder Harris (aka crew cut guy#1): Hello miss. We're here to spread the new gospel of Jesus Christ. We'd like to come to your home to do a presentation about what accepting the Lord can do for your family. Do you go to church at all?

Asian (ethnicity is relevant here) woman: *Blank stare*.

Elder Johannsen: Do you go to a Chinese church?

Asian woman: *dirty look*

Elder Harris: *speaking very slowly* Do...you..speak...eng...lish? Our church has lots of Chinese members in Toronto; we can arrange for the presentation to be in Chinese. Do you speak Mandarin or Cantonese?

Asian woman: I'm Korean you a**hole.

BURN!

Jun-8-2007 11:50

My quotable brother on the subject to TV:

"Before they had colour TV's, was everyone in black and white?"

The scariest thing is he's just finished school...

Jun-8-2007 13:36

The quotable 'likes to think he knows it all' chef from where i used to work:

Me: We have a vegan in Jon, what can you do for her?

Jon: Does it have to come from the vegetarian menu or can she have meat?

Jun-9-2007 01:57

Stupid chef...vegans ONLY eat meat, like d'urrrr gosh!

Jonny: leave...home...now. Or, really screw with said sibling by buying him a black n' white TV and getting nuts with the screen with a pack of flourescent highlighters when he's not looking.

The quotable first time in a chinese restaurant American tourist guy: Are your spring rolls available in the summer?

Waiter: *three second pause while e thinks about his tip* Yes sir, we still have them.

Guy: I thought it was always winter in Canada. I'll take six, but I want them before the duck.

Oct-19-2007 00:20

The quotable random young woman in front of my house, which is CLEARLY a house, the other day:

Her: Hi. Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure.
Her: So, is this like an apartment, or a building?
Me: It's a house.
Her: That's so nice! Thanks a lot!

Oct-19-2007 16:51

You're a magnet, Crunchman. A Magnet.

Nov-1-2007 23:50

Yeah, but I'm totally polarized and I still don't know north from south.

The quotable friendly neighbourhood slogan of the day in front of a church:

"The ark was built by amateurs. The Titanic was built by experts. Think about it!"

That one made me want to send money to Tom Cruise. Good thing I was driving.