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Old Shoe

Feb-4-2007 23:55

The quotable missus, during the final quarter of the Super Bowl:

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, I get it so shut up. This is the last down, and a down is like a chance. If they don't move ten yards in the direction they want to go in four chances they lose possession of the ball. There a four quarters in a game. Stop laughing; you're laughing at me. Shut up. How many downs til they get the new quarterback? Oh that man caught the ball even though he wasn't a Chicago player, now he's running the other way. I think Indianapolis will win this game."

*will let this settle before he complicates things with CFL rules*

heard anything quotable lately?


Battered Shoe

Feb-5-2007 05:07

I know nothing about football except that you should be drinking tequila while watching it. I suggest Mrs. Patty do the same next time. Makes it a whole lot more tolerable--and comprehensible.

I do in fact have a related quote to share this morning, from today's newspaper. It's from John Heisman, who I deduce was a football coach:

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."

Old Shoe

Mar-23-2007 23:39

"this" or "his"?

The quotable father-in-law:

"I've had wine and now I'm resting" (he NEVER drinks)

The quotable missus, once again:

Oh look, they're taking their dog for a walk in a wagon (not realizing we were outside a veterinarian's)

The quotable students;

Guy #1 in contradictory team sport gear:

"My vertical leap sucks, yo"

Guy #2 in contradictory team sport gear:


Guy #1 in contradictory team sport gear:
"F'real. I ain't jumped in like a year."

Old Shoe

Apr-2-2007 00:55

The quotable pregnant medical lab technician:

Her: Here, drink this. Put on these latex gloves first, though.
Me: Why do I need gloves?
Her: It's radioactive. You don't want to get it on your hands. Now drink up!

Sara Lou
Sara Lou

Apr-4-2007 08:45

Oh god. Today in Science class we are doing and experiment with eggs in vinegar. The shell has totally dissolved, leaving only the egg membrane. Our class's egg is busted.

Shandy: Lord of Llamas and Sara Lou, you made our egg bust! (Of course, Shandy called us by our real names and she was teasing).

LoLlamas: I'm SOOO telekinetic. Darn.

Shandy: WHAT?!?!

LoL:Telekinetic. I have telekinesis.

Shandy (to me) : I'm telekenis! (rubs her head like a psychic does a crystal ball).

Sara lou: *laughs hysterically* *tells LoL*

LoL: *laughs hysterically with me*

Good god, the nutty kids these days!!


Apr-4-2007 17:06

Me and me friends

Me: (to Erin) Hi, Erin!....I kicked you! Hahaha.

Erin: (happily) Hi, Jenna!

Me: (to Ryan) You know what, I'll kick you too.

Ryan: (in a strange voice) NO, JENNA! DON'T KICK ME!!!

I don't know, I just wanted to post something so I posted this.... weird thingy.


Apr-4-2007 17:07

^happened today after school^

Old Shoe

Apr-21-2007 02:07

okay. is more what I'm looking for though.

Stoned grocery stockboy #1: Hey, should I put these sandwiches with the other sandwiches?

Stoned grocery stockboy #2: Look at what's in your hands. That's mexican dip you idiot! Ain't even no bread.


Apr-21-2007 10:44

Overheard in Crunchpatty's little home office: (yes, it's bugged)

*loud snickers and giggles*
This'll be so great! I'll post about two stoned stockboys...
*more giggles*
...and they'll never know that Stoned stockboy #1 was me!!!!
*more giggles, some coughing, and a gurgle*

Old Shoe

May-17-2007 23:26

OK for the record I have never been a stoned stockboy.

Stoned barista? Sure. Stoned student? Yuh-huhbsolutely. Stoned 7-11 iced cream thief? lol, duuuuuude, 7+ 11 TOTALLY makes 18, and that TOTALLY rhymes with iced cream.

Whoa. Did you just, like, jingle your keys, or is that a siren I hear?

The quotable Mormons on their rite-of-passage mission on the subway:

Elder Harris (aka crew cut guy#1): Hello miss. We're here to spread the new gospel of Jesus Christ. We'd like to come to your home to do a presentation about what accepting the Lord can do for your family. Do you go to church at all?

Asian (ethnicity is relevant here) woman: *Blank stare*.

Elder Johannsen: Do you go to a Chinese church?

Asian woman: *dirty look*

Elder Harris: *speaking very slowly* Our church has lots of Chinese members in Toronto; we can arrange for the presentation to be in Chinese. Do you speak Mandarin or Cantonese?

Asian woman: I'm Korean you a**hole.



Jun-8-2007 11:50

My quotable brother on the subject to TV:

"Before they had colour TV's, was everyone in black and white?"

The scariest thing is he's just finished school...

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