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Serges
Serges
Vigilante

Jan-24-2007 23:11



Replies

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Jan-28-2007 08:09

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Jan-28-2007 09:54

LOL Ranier you are on a tear!

Raven X
Raven X
Well-Connected

Jan-28-2007 10:37

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this: "Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.

MamaTerra
MamaTerra
Assistant Postman

Feb-1-2007 07:03

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed
quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to
hook the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph so
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out
fishing in that crap?"

Coda
Coda
Well-Connected

Feb-6-2007 17:18

Thanks to all, you have made me smile made me laugh.Life has been a bit shite lately, I lost my friend Paul recently, he loved a joke, he would have apprecaited this thread. Ta for cheering me up.

Larry the Toe
Larry the Toe

Feb-10-2007 06:38

What is red and goes tick- tock?
An apple. The tick-tock was to confuse you.

What is red and goes tick tock?
A clock. This time the red was to confuse you.

What is red and goes tick tock?
An egg. Now both were to confuse you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


lilangel
lilangel
Sleuth About Town

Oct-31-2007 23:23

Redneck's Birth Control

A redneck took his daughter to the Gynocologist.

They waited in the Doctor's office when finally the Doctor came in and asked the father: "Well, what are we here for today"?

The father answered: "to get my daughter on birth control, Doc".

"Well, is your daughter sexually active?", asked the Doctor.

"No", answered the redneck, "she just lays there like her mother".

(gotten from http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=3792&id=1 )

Sinus Felina
Sinus Felina

Nov-1-2007 14:26

The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5'10", 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6'7", 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little hope of winning. As expected, the Russian has with way with the American. Suddenly, the American explosively turns the match around, pins the Russian, and gains the victory for the American team.

The American wrestler returns to the sidelines where the coach asks him, "Son, how were you able to defeat that big Russian? Honestly, I didn't give you much of a chance."

The wrestler says, "Well, coach, when he had me down on the ground all rolled up, I saw a pair of nuts dangling in front of my face, and I just bit them as hard as I could."

The coach is shocked. "That's how you beat him?!"

"Hell yeah!" the wrestler says. "You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own nuts!"

I've read this on another site some months ago, and still laughs when thinking about it.

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Nov-1-2007 23:26

I wanna be a wrestler!

*signs up for a self-loving yoga class cause he's just not flexible...yet*

lilangel
lilangel
Sleuth About Town

Nov-4-2007 12:44

Poetry Contest

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

(http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=3764&id=1)

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