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Aug-30-2006 01:51

I heart stupidity. When you see it, post it here. I'll start.

Some of you know that I've do some teaching of first year sociology students in university. I really enjoy it, and love my students, but -GAWD- grading their work is a nightmare.

Through the course of a year, they have to write short essays on a range of topics ---feminism, Karl Marx, education, Freud, crime, etc. I feel kinda guilty laughing at these because of course they are writing under extreme pressure, but holy bobo I find them funny! Every so often, they write something so frickin' hysterical that it makes me gag laughing. These fleeting gems, I collect. Thought y'all might get a kick out of some of them.

Here we go. (nb, all typos and grammar boo boos are theirs from here on, not mine)

"Education is not really as old as many people think. It all came about in
the 1960s when the Russians were more advanced with outerspace."

"There is no evidence of women in society until the late 1990s"

"Freud is the classic theory of gender he believes the boy has the penis the girl has the clitoris simple as that"

"Freud said that a boy who plays too many dolls might be a p_ssy in later life"

"Feminists think women are the lowest of the low"

"Education is bias it only works for children who come from families where the parents are rich white and male"

"Hitlar believed in the destroying the Jews, however, his dictation only lasted until he was alive, after it was forgotten."

"Weber saw society from his eyes"

"someone from the low class is no good to us. we don't see them as nonsuccessful. That is because of sociology"

"Max Weber is a known and accredited sociologist"

"All around us in our society it is, said to be all around us these 'bureacracy' for example God is higher than Jeesus. The boss."

Dec-6-2006 02:09

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the
East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.

Dec-6-2006 03:16

*fries the maggot of ignorance in the smoking-hot, star-crossed grease of inborn stupidity for onenanna and TOTALLY brings all this up at the next union meeting*

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.

is this a coincidence? or did this metaphor come from Crunch's thesis???

Dec-6-2006 04:04

I think these are Crunch's future students. I hope your ready CP

Dec-6-2006 09:48

YEAH baby, that's what I'm talking about yoyo!!! And, having just days ago managed to get a lecture hall of 250 students to sing the "batman smells" version of Jingle Bells, I feel confident that my game is tight enough for these bright n' shiny minds of the future.

And while a surprising proportion of my thesis DOES explore the frying of maggots - and related cultural sensitivity issue- in this case it's just a coincidence...onenanna had posted that one a while back.

Oh... it occurs to me I may have just stolen the Captain Obvious sledgehammer.

Jan-18-2007 01:38

Okay, so another round of happy happy student grading is in the books.

This time, they were asked questions about gender and sexuality. Usually this provides for mucho hilarity. But either they've gotten slightly smarter or I'm just kinda not paying as much attention.


Anyways, here's the 'stupid' gems du jour. My comments in (parentheses) :

"For example there is a stereotype that a gay man is an interior decorator, this is wrong. A lesbian can also be an interior decorator." (SWEET! DO THESE DRAPES MAKE ME LOOK BUTCH?)

"Those who cannot adequately handle their gender are often coined as homosexual and give off a homosexual appearance" (*throws a fistful of quarters at the 'Queer Eye' sound stage*)

"In today's society men cannot ever obtain the position of a secretary while women cannot very often obtain the position of President of the United States.
(Screw you, my dad was all man and he was a secretary.)

(For context's sake, these next two are from the same, gifted guy, and Church Street is kind of the centre of Toronto's Gay Village):

"Society has set great stereotypes of homosexuals for example homosexuals are bald to very little hair, have tattoos, piercing the right ear and fat. People who also aren't very psychically involved but more of a person who likes act, cleaning and music etc, therefore there are many guys who appreciate the following but they don't just take it, they aren't homosexuals. Instead, these are refeered to as 'bisexuals'. Categories are wrong, sociologically."

"When holding hands of a person of same sex on Church Street, Downtown Toronto seems okay it might not be the same at University of Toronto campus. There, the likelihood of experiencing homosexual relationships is far lower than on Church Street. (if holding hands counts as sexual relations I really need to get with the belt-notching. And phone my mom about something that happened in 1979)

(more)

Jan-18-2007 01:43

...
"people assume that if a person's sexuality is either male or female that they should act in either a masculine or feminine manner repetitively it should not stop and people who will defy their gender role are perceived to be mentally ill."

"Straight people don't have a good gaydar like homosexual lesbians do."

And the best of 07 (so far)

Men bring home the bacon for the family. Then, women nurture it"

(Everything's better with a little pork)

Jan-18-2007 05:56

ah my favorite thread, and the things I have to deal with everyday. Thank you Crunch

Jan-18-2007 06:05

I'd love to respond in depth, but I've got to go nurture my man's bacon.

Jan-20-2007 05:35

I was just reading a story today about a divorcing couple who both refuse to leave their house (I guess they also own another house 2 doors down). Well, the judge ordered that a dividing wall be put up inside the house they are sharing dividing the house in two. I guess the divorce has been going on for 2 years.

And yes, I am an insomniac who has nothing better to do at nearly 5 a.m.

Jan-20-2007 14:14

crunchpatty, those comments are from UNIVERSITY students?! Knowing me I would've written smart-arse comments all over their papers. I guess that's why I was highly unpopular in creative writing...