The Battery Boardwalk Expansion - 8 April 2017

Sleuth Home - Ask Shady


Shady Character Da Circle of Life

So Big Mama has produced the sleuth brat at long last. Ol' Fez Boy s'walkin' round more pumped up than da Hindenburg. That better not last too long though, coz my knuckes get mighty itchy when da little runt starts bangin' on bout 'fruit of his loins' and all dat. It'd be a shame if I had to puree his apples for him.

But, kudos to Big Mama, and welcome to da heir apparent. I am hopin' Big Mama will let me teach you da finer points of extortin' and da shake down Diego, so dat by the time you hit kindergarten you is able to up-end some bum for his milk money and have dem say thank you for the privilege.

It is a curious circle dat is life, aint it. You enter weak, vulnerable, incontinent, an' screamin' for your mudda, and if you cross Shady... well, that's how you sometimes leaves it too.

Anyway enough of da mush, or I will have youse all cryin' in yer cups and missin yer payments.

Now, despite da impendin' birth, I am also heartened to see that Fez Boy has come through with da goods, and that youse will all be better shod from now on. Me I thinks I'll pass. Cairo, sheesh! And besides, I like a good firm steel cap boot for my business ventures (and somethin' with a higher heel for my evenin's). Sandals just don't cuts it when you is in the da kickin' game.

I hopes you have also come to the realization that what Shady wants, Shady gets... well most of da time.

To be honest wid you all, there are some secrets even Shady can't crack.

Longwater and others have axed me on more than one occasion what is the deal with Secret Sleuth Theme #1. But Big Mama must have the screws into Fezboy pretty hard on dis one. He might squeal like a cheerleader when he's bein' hung upside down from his office window, but seems Big Mama scares him more than me (hard to believe I knows it) coz he just won't budge.

Ifn I could bring down the full weight of my 'interviewin techniques' things might be different, but the little runt has his uses, and now an extra mouth to feed, so I tries to only 'bend' him a little.

Best I can say is XXXXXXXXXX

Now I has gots more to say of course, plenty of questions to be answered, [and no I still aint coughin up bout no monkey] but there are things that need to be done. For one, da Shady Brotherhood is tryin' hard to edge it's way into this new gig Big Mama has got goin' on. No, not the brat, we aint got no shares in the diaper manufacturin' game... though there's a thought.

No, personally, 'Shades of Mystery' sounds right up my alley...


-Shady


P.S. Miss Anikka... African or European?



Archive

Yakkity Yak, Shady Talks Back
7 April, 2010

You Can't Always Gets What You Wants
January 15, 2010

Two and Two Equals...
November 15, 2009

Gotta Tell Ya
October 3, 2009

Da Basics
August 30, 2009

Love is in da Air
July 30, 2009

It's a Crazy World
June 23, 2009

Da World is Full of Pirates
May 27, 2009

Da Circle of Life
August 19, 2007

Beauty
July 18, 2007

Sleutherapy
June 21, 2007

Slow Learners
May 21, 2007

Truth
April 25, 2007

Posers
April 11, 2007




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