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Jul-2-2005 11:10

"A polite way in saying someone is dumb."

1) A few clown short of a circus.
2) A few fries short of a happy meal.
3) A few beers short of a six-pack.
4) Doesn't have all cornflakes in one box.
5) The wheels are spinning, but he hampster's dead.
6) One Froot Loop short of a full bowl.
7) One taco short of a combo plate.
8) A few feathers short of a whole duck.
9) All foam and no beer.
10) Body by Fisher Price and brains by Mattel.
11) Couldn't put water out of a boot even with the instructions on the heel.
12) Chimmey's clogged.
13) Doesn't have all his dogs on a leash.
14) Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.
15) Her sewing machine is out of thread.
16) His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
17) Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
18) Reciever is off the hook.
19) Too much yardage between the goal posts
20) Skylight leaks alittle.
21) The light is on but nobody is home

Jan-4-2007 09:04

ok... i'll just leave that word out...

Two guys pull up to a lumber store, and one walks into a lumber store and asks the salesclerk, "Do you have some 4 by 2's?"

The sales clerk says, "You mean 2 by 4's?"

The guys says, "Don't know, let me check." So he goes out to his buddy and comes back in the store and says, "Yeah 2 by 4's."

So the salesclerk asks, "How long do you need it?"

The guy says, "Don't know, let me check." He goes back out to his buddy and asks, then comes back in and says, "We're going to need it for a really long time, because we're building a house."

Jan-5-2007 02:45

there were 3 women who jumped off the roof of a three story building, 2 had died and 1 was still alive, barely... when asked by a cop why they jumped off the building, she replied, "we just bought new pads with wings, and we were seeing if we could fly."

Jan-17-2007 02:56

In case anyone thinks I'm being anti-american here - the education problems are pretty much the same in Canada. I just got this in email and think it's pretty funny:

It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar
Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his
hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!" Who said, "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?" Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar." Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrashekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k them Indians,"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared around and asked "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"

Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh*t, we're f**ked!"

And Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George W. Bush, Iraq, 2006.