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Jul-1-2012 17:42

Summer is in full swing, one and all! In honor of this long-awaited time of year, and the slow but steady revival of our beloved community, Dawn of the Dead Agency is putting forth a Summer Story Competition! Much like the Holiday Writing Competition Wish Upon a Star sponsored in 2009, our entrants must adhere to a simple set of rules for their entry to be considered by our dishonorable judges, otherwise known as the zombies of the beloved Dawn of the Dead Agency. The rules are as follows!

1. The story must have a summertime theme. This is a broad spectrum, involving anything one might do on summer vacation or a nice summers day.

2. Entries MUST USE- I repeat MUST USE, all of the listed elements somewhere in their story, although no particular order is required.
The elements are as follows:

-A red kazzo
-a comically large margarita
-an underinflated beach ball
-a blue checkered picnic blanket
-a brilliant display of fireworks
-a very sunburned uncle
-sand between your toes
-a hammock
-a pirate in a hawaiian shirt
-a parrot that only sings medleys of Cher songs
-a fanny pack
-a mysteriously abandoned bikini top
-a sinister volleyball
-three coconuts
-a bottle of Maui Babe suntan lotion

*Once again, you must use all of these items somewhere in your story, wherever and however you see fit.

3. Entries have a 2 post limit (about 4000 characters).

4. Prize will be a special custom item selected by Dawn of the Dead!

5. Have fun with it!

We hope to see a lot of entries from our sleuth community! The contest will run until Saturday, July 14th at which point our agency will begin judging entries!

Happy writing, all!

Jul-2-2012 19:33

Nicely done, Ruby!

Jul-2-2012 22:19

The Case of the Missing Topless Cousin

"Detective, you must help find our daughter!" My very sunburned uncle and aunt exclaimed as they bulldozed into my muggy office. The electric fan was broken and I had my sleeves rolled up to my armpits. This was the first time ever that they called me a detective. Knowing them, I do not expect that they'd pay me though.

"Where did you lose her?" I asked.

My aunt rummaged through her oversized fanny pack and took out a shiny silver bikini top. The reflection was so glaring that I wondered where I put my sunglasses.

"This belongs to Clara. We found it mysteriously abandoned in the schoolyard where she had summer class. It was hanging on a tree." Explained my roasted aunt. "We've been looking for her the entire day!"

"You made her go to summer school?" I queried. The weather was so hot and sunny outside, I wanted to arrest them for abuse.

"She did have fun though! Last night they had a tropics-themed party. Otherwise I wouldn't have let her wear this thing!" My uncle waved the shiny bikini like a flag. He went on to tell me the address of her high school and thus began my search for my missing cousin.


The schoolyard looked quiet and undisturbed. I carpet searched the place until I came across, what was this? I bent down and picked up a red kazoo. "A-ha! A clue!" I thought. I tried playing it, and lo and behold, a parrot came flying to me, singing, "This is a song - for the lonely. Can you hear me tonight..." I later realized it only sings medleys of Cher songs.

The parrot led me to down to a basement in the school. I pry opened the door and three coconuts fell down. A booby trap! Someone didn't want me here. I carefully took one stride in, only to be tripped by a very sinister volleyball. I was sure it wasn't there a second ago!

Jul-2-2012 22:20

The basement was very dark. I plodded along, looking for any viable light source. Finally I found a stick of... fireworks? Well I guess that'd have to work. I lit the fuse with my lighter, and within seconds I got a brilliant display on my hand, and lighting up the chamber.

In a corner I saw a 'beach area' being set up, with real sand and all. I saw a young man with a pirate hat and eye-patch slept wasted on a hammock, with a bottle of Maui Babe suntan lotion in his hand, and some still dripping out of his mouth. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Apparently they must have been changing costumes. I wonder what my cousin would be wearing by now...

Suddenly I was hit in the head by an under-inflated beach ball. I turned around to meet my still drunk cousin, wearing a blue checkered picnic blanket as her make-shift swimwear. She actually made it look good on her! She was holding a comically large plastic margarita wine glass and slurred, "Hello Cuz!", giggling.

The parrot suddenly sang "Do you believe in life after love...", then someone restarted the party music and turned the lights back on. The party was back in full swing again and I thought, life is too short to do unpaid jobs for my uncle. I took off my shoes and socks to feel the sand between my toes. Quickly I grabbed a giant margarita and join in the party.

Jul-3-2012 08:42

Haha wonderful entry, JZ!!!

Jul-3-2012 09:32

* tips head, with a giant mexican hat on it *

Jul-3-2012 12:42

*PLEASE NOTE: This is not my work, I am posting it on behalf of another sleuther who was weary about blemishing their clean board history, due to the more risque contents of the story. I have offered to post it because my clean board history disappeared years ago ;)*


I was lying on my beach towel, baking in the summer sun and enjoying the feeling of sand stuck in between my toes, when suddenly an awful sound reminiscent of a banshee undergoing exorcism caught my ear. I turned to see a tricolored parrot which seemed only able to sing, or rather screech, the most hideous medleys of Cher songs. It jerkily flapped around the head of a pirate wearing a Hawaiian shirt...only a Hawaiian shirt.

My eyes stung as I was treated to the sight of his front nether regions: one bright red kazoo swinging in between two hairy man-rocks. Though upon further observation, one was very saggy and resembled an underinflated beach ball, while the other was very tight, having the look of a sinister volleyball. He caught me staring and flashed me a toothless drool-dripping grin, upon which I proceeded to grab a nearby sand bucket sitting on a blue checkered picnic blanket and become violently sick in it.

Jul-3-2012 12:42

As I hastily made my escape, I tripped over a mysteriously abandoned bikini top lying on the sand. I exclaimed the necessary profanities as my face was plunged headfirst into a busty brunette swinging in a makeshift hammock. And when I say busty, I mean BUSTY. She held a comically large margarita in one hand. With the other, she was rubbing a bottle of Maui Babe suntan lotion all over not one, not two, but all three of her lady coconuts. Whilst I was momentarily sandwiched in between two of the triplets, she began to apologize profusely about her discarded top, and proceeded to animatedly explain its futility in covering her superfluous nipple.

I wrenched myself free, appearing a bit haggard with hair all askew, and stumbled aimlessly along the beach. A voice called out my name, and I looked to my right to see my very sunburned uncle waving at me from a distance. He was clad in only a thong and a backwards fanny pack, which in truth was rapidly shrinking as it made its way into the crevices of his fanny. But my goodness, I had never been so happy to see his gelatinous form before in my life! As if on cue, a brilliant display of fireworks lit up the then-darkened sky.

That was the last time I ever went to the beach.

Jul-3-2012 14:07

Hahahahaha! Nice.

Jul-3-2012 15:36

Hahahahaha!

Jul-3-2012 16:47

LOL