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Apr-8-2009 10:27

Ok, remember when you were in school, and you had write an essay, "What I Did Last Summer"?

Well, tell me what YOU did last summer. I mean you, the detective. It should be in character but it doesn't have to be about sleuth, since even detectives have holidays sometimes, right?

RULES

-Spelling and grammar count! I will put you on a blacklist and haunt you forever if u rite lyk dis.

-There is a 2000 character limit. That's one box.

-Contest closes Thursday, April 30 11:59:59pm. No exceptions.

-Currently I am the only judge, and bribes are welcome.

PRIZES

1st prize $100,000 sleuth dollars or a 2-month sub
2nd prize $50,000 sleuth dollars or a 1-month sub

So, what did you do last summer?

Apr-14-2009 00:01

Summer here again and of course not a brass razoo to my name. Things weren't looking good on the holiday front. Daydreams of falling asleep to the sounds of koala's mating (like a cross between a catfight[females] and wild pigs rooting for food[males]) and waking to sunrises over mobs of roo's grazing.

Suddenly the phone rings, it's my old mate Bluey from out bush where I used to live. After the "G'day's" and the "How's it hanging" were out of the way Bluey told me the reason for his call. Someone had shot his prize ram and he wanted me to come "detect who dunnit". Bluey would pay to fuel up my old ute and he expected me faster than a gun shearer on double pay. By the time I got there I was dryer than a dead dingo's donger so Bluey dragged me down the pub to catch up with Gazza and Wozza and a couple of new sheila's in town.

After downing a few tinnies to wet the whistle we got to yakking about the case. Bluey told me that the local show was coming up and he expected to win again this year just like he'd won the last 5 years with his prize ram 'Drongo'. Fitting name for a bloody sheep like Drongo. The stupid ram had tried to mate with not only the cattle but a couple of wild goats as well. Bloody Drongo!

I decided to ask around and taking my stubby with me I started doing the rounds of the local watering holes. Blokes and sheilas got real talkative after a couple of beers. Turns out Bluey's neighbour Jimbo was jealous and decided to win the show himself this year. He got his top Jackeroo to balance Drongo's ears with a piece of lead between to make sure that Bluey couldn't win. He'd been ticked off for donkeys’ years about Bluey having such a prize winning mob of sheep and wanted to turn the tables.

I told Bluey about it and Rafferty's Rules broke out. Eventually after the dust settled the coppers took Jimbo back to the station for a Backroom Waltz and had the right of it. Jimbo spent a night in the tank and had to pay double what Drongo was worth.

Apr-15-2009 17:11

On the first day of summer, my client gave to me Murder in Manhattan

On the second day of summer, my client gave to me two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the third day of summer, my client gave to me magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the fourth day of summer, my client gave to me Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the fifth day of summer, my client gave to me free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the sixth day of summer, my client gave to me Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the se’enth day of summer, my client gave to me four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the eighth day of summer, my client gave to me lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the ninth day of summer, my client gave to me Banker’s PE contact, lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the tenth day of summer, my client gave to me Sleuthtania tickets, Banker’s PE contact, lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the eleventh day of summer, my client gave to me Lucy’s location, Sleuthtania tickets, Banker’s PE contact, lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

Apr-15-2009 17:14

Just a side note to my entry up there...
#1 Try singing the 12 days of Christmas
#2 Due to word limitation, the 12th day, which is Socrates' contact is not included
#3 Thanks to ctown for the inspiration, and to Makensie for the encouragement (shall I call that?) to join this competition, hope this brings you another chuckle

Apr-16-2009 18:17

Just out of curiosity, what did you have for the 12th day?

Apr-16-2009 19:53

Socrates' contact...

Apr-16-2009 21:06

lemme guess. the Music Teacher, right?

Apr-17-2009 17:21

So who's Socrates?

Apr-17-2009 21:04

Ooooh, some lovely entries! Great to see new names posting as well. Come on folks, there's still 2 weeks left to get your entries in! :D

Apr-17-2009 23:26

I was referring to Order of Socrates' but it was tooo long... Any ideas for 12th day?

Apr-22-2009 03:06

Seems like I can never get a break from the murders in this mob ruled city. So I decided to plan for three months of beaches and sipping daiquiri's. I started out the summer with one goal in mind. Relaxation. It turned out to be the weirdest summer I have ever had.
The first month was heaven on earth. No murders, no desperate clients (who half the time were the actual killers) and no dealing with clammed witnesses. Just me and the sounds of the waves crashing on shore.
Of course, nothing good can lasts. One day while I was getting a nice tan, I heard a squeal. When I reluctantly opened my eyes I saw a monkey sitting a few feet away from me. I was stupefied. Where did this monkey come from? Why was it staring at me? My first instinct was to scare it away. But then what if it attacked? Me, being the paranoid type, my mind started racing. It probably would attack me, then I would get some rare disease. I would be too far away from a hospital to get help. Even if I managed to somehow miraculously make it to a hospital, I was sure I would die. I was broke and had no health insurance. If I was treated I would probably get an infection.
Whoa, snap out of it Keira! I stopped my racing mind from continuing to freak out. If I could handle grizzly crime scenes, surely I could deal with one little monkey. As my sanity was coming back to me, I knew that this vacation was too long overdue.
I focused my attention back on the monkey. There was now a guy seated next to the little animal. He turned around and it was a mime! What the....??? He then started to do all these mime skits. Did one of my enemies slip something in my drink or was this really happening? Before I could further ponder the oddity of it all, the mime slipped away. He then reappeared with his monkey following me around every day for the rest of my vacation. For once, I couldn’t wait to get back to city and deal with whiny clients!