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CONTEST: What I Did Last Summer
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topkebab
topkebab
Lucky Stiff

Apr-8-2009 10:27

Ok, remember when you were in school, and you had write an essay, "What I Did Last Summer"?

Well, tell me what YOU did last summer. I mean you, the detective. It should be in character but it doesn't have to be about sleuth, since even detectives have holidays sometimes, right?

RULES

-Spelling and grammar count! I will put you on a blacklist and haunt you forever if u rite lyk dis.

-There is a 2000 character limit. That's one box.

-Contest closes Thursday, April 30 11:59:59pm. No exceptions.

-Currently I am the only judge, and bribes are welcome.

PRIZES

1st prize $100,000 sleuth dollars or a 2-month sub
2nd prize $50,000 sleuth dollars or a 1-month sub

So, what did you do last summer?

Replies

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

Apr-11-2009 20:15

This past summer I had a hankering for home. Since there’s no family or work waiting for me in the wilds of Montana, I settled for an odd second best. A friend of a friend etc. called me up and told me the Central Park Zoo was looking for someone to be a fill-in keeper for the moose pen for a couple of months. The bull moose hadn’t gotten along with the previous guy and he’d turned on him, leaving him with cracked ribs and a fractured skull. Would I be gullible, er, green, er, desperate enough to take the job.

I had worked as a guide for some tenderfoot hunters, so being around moose didn’t scare me off, per se. I showed up for work at the pen: a bull in one enclosure and a cow and calf in the other. The problem child behaved himself for the first week. I had expected to have to exit the pen by vaulting over the fence; instead he ignored me as I cleaned the pen, set out new hay and food and checked his salt lick. The second week though, the horns, or in his case rack of antlers, came out. Seems he favored the ambush approach. He waited until I was in the middle of hosing down the manger area of his pen; if I hadn’t kept an eye out for trouble, I would have been pitched over the fence by his antlers or turned into mousse. As it was, he got a face full of water and I finished up my day rather quickly.

I asked my boss how they’d handled the bull in the past; he told me they hadn’t, they had just passed him on to a new handler each time. So until the last guy lost his mind again, Rudolf was all mine. Give that my brawn was no match for 2000 pounds and 6 feet of antlers, it was time to use brains and find his Achilles heel, or in his case hoof. As I found out, Rudolf had a sweet tooth. I made a small addition to his diet of hay, veggies and pine boughs. He got a bucket of maple syrup and I got an unskewered carcass as I cleaned his pen. By the third day he was hooked, his snout buried in pure ambrosia.

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

Apr-11-2009 20:15

By the end of three months, Rudolf followed me around like a big ol’ puppy dog. He even discovered the delights of a special treat: salted popcorn.

I have no idea if my method would work in the middle of the fall rut; I’d prefer not to find out. The other guy woke up, lost his marbles again and wanted his job back. Oh well.


Sister Rosetta
Sister Rosetta
Red-Nosed

Apr-12-2009 12:06

It was an eventful summer, to say the least. I was always in the habit of perusing brochures from the travel agency nearby, and that year was no exception. The travel agent, Rhoda Darning, smiled pleasantly as I scanned a pamphlet about a getaway in the Caribbean.

“Thinking of getting away this year, Sister?”

“I’d like to. But a detective’s wage is very meagre. I don’t think I could ever afford it.”

The sound of gunfire nearby cut short the conversation. Rhoda quickly ducked under her desk as I rushed outside to see two figures firing their pistols.

Just as I was about to call out, one of the gunmen fired two shots. His bullets ended up hitting the other figure, who then collapsed. Deciding that it was more prudent to help the victim, I allowed the other man to get away. But just as I was approaching him, the person who was shot stood up and ran away, as well!

I headed back inside the travel agency, and found that Rhoda was nowhere to be found. She had inexplicably disappeared without a trace.

I called the police before heading back outside. Something was not right, and it took me a while to figure out what. The gunmen had been firing blanks. But why would they stage such an elaborate scene? Perhaps, to catch someone else’s attention so that they wouldn’t notice another occurrence nearby...

The solution to it all was quite simple. The two men were, I gathered, Rhoda’s brothers. She had told me about them a while back. They had staged the shootout to divert attention away from Rhoda, who had slipped out quietly from behind me. One of them was supposed to trash the travel agency while my attention was turned to the other man who was “wounded.” But somehow the plan went wrong, and both men bolted. I guess they didn’t expect a detective to be the witness. The damage that would have been caused would have given Rhoda a nice sum from her insurance company " perfect for a holiday. You can’t have a tropical getaway without a criminal record. Shame.

Lolita Marinez
Lolita Marinez
Sleuth About Town

Apr-14-2009 00:01

Summer here again and of course not a brass razoo to my name. Things weren't looking good on the holiday front. Daydreams of falling asleep to the sounds of koala's mating (like a cross between a catfight[females] and wild pigs rooting for food[males]) and waking to sunrises over mobs of roo's grazing.

Suddenly the phone rings, it's my old mate Bluey from out bush where I used to live. After the "G'day's" and the "How's it hanging" were out of the way Bluey told me the reason for his call. Someone had shot his prize ram and he wanted me to come "detect who dunnit". Bluey would pay to fuel up my old ute and he expected me faster than a gun shearer on double pay. By the time I got there I was dryer than a dead dingo's donger so Bluey dragged me down the pub to catch up with Gazza and Wozza and a couple of new sheila's in town.

After downing a few tinnies to wet the whistle we got to yakking about the case. Bluey told me that the local show was coming up and he expected to win again this year just like he'd won the last 5 years with his prize ram 'Drongo'. Fitting name for a bloody sheep like Drongo. The stupid ram had tried to mate with not only the cattle but a couple of wild goats as well. Bloody Drongo!

I decided to ask around and taking my stubby with me I started doing the rounds of the local watering holes. Blokes and sheilas got real talkative after a couple of beers. Turns out Bluey's neighbour Jimbo was jealous and decided to win the show himself this year. He got his top Jackeroo to balance Drongo's ears with a piece of lead between to make sure that Bluey couldn't win. He'd been ticked off for donkeys’ years about Bluey having such a prize winning mob of sheep and wanted to turn the tables.

I told Bluey about it and Rafferty's Rules broke out. Eventually after the dust settled the coppers took Jimbo back to the station for a Backroom Waltz and had the right of it. Jimbo spent a night in the tank and had to pay double what Drongo was worth.

lalala111
lalala111

Apr-15-2009 17:11

On the first day of summer, my client gave to me Murder in Manhattan

On the second day of summer, my client gave to me two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the third day of summer, my client gave to me magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the fourth day of summer, my client gave to me Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the fifth day of summer, my client gave to me free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the sixth day of summer, my client gave to me Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the se’enth day of summer, my client gave to me four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the eighth day of summer, my client gave to me lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the ninth day of summer, my client gave to me Banker’s PE contact, lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the tenth day of summer, my client gave to me Sleuthtania tickets, Banker’s PE contact, lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan

On the eleventh day of summer, my client gave to me Lucy’s location, Sleuthtania tickets, Banker’s PE contact, lost treasure’s map, four skill points, Prince Palace’s key, free subscription… Three Doomsayers, magnifying glass, two easy cases and Murder in Manhattan


lalala111
lalala111

Apr-15-2009 17:14

Just a side note to my entry up there...
#1 Try singing the 12 days of Christmas
#2 Due to word limitation, the 12th day, which is Socrates' contact is not included
#3 Thanks to ctown for the inspiration, and to Makensie for the encouragement (shall I call that?) to join this competition, hope this brings you another chuckle

David Adams
David Adams
Red-Nosed

Apr-16-2009 18:17

Just out of curiosity, what did you have for the 12th day?

lalala111
lalala111

Apr-16-2009 19:53

Socrates' contact...

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

Apr-16-2009 21:06

lemme guess. the Music Teacher, right?

David Adams
David Adams
Red-Nosed

Apr-17-2009 17:21

So who's Socrates?

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