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I'm writing a featured mystery! :)
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Feb-11-2007 09:33

It takes place in London. Although someone else already beat me to the punch in writing about Shakespearean theatre in London (the Romeo and Juliet mystery)....well, I decided to center mine on a different traditional play and only with many, many more twists. I'm thinking it'd get a Hard or Really Hard rating.

Not just that but I think London needs more featured mysteries too!

IRL I'm a New Yorker (not to mention a chick posing as a dude!) but have extensively travelled the UK and seen much of England and Ireland's rich history, tradition, and culture. I'm incorporating a lot of English local color and slang in this, and using British spellings instead of American spelling.

If this mystery does well I'd like to write more for London, and for the other cities when I get a chance to go to them. But mostly London for I have a soft spot for it, and New York since it's my hometown. Me loves the Old Yorke a bit more than the New York. :P

I'm almost done with the intro for this one. I'd like to post it and get feedback. If anyone's interested in reading it, does so and thinks it has a chance of becoming an FM, please let me know! Thanks! :)



Feb-11-2007 09:38

Although I just realized something else...I hope you can pick the pictures you want to use for your suspects/the victim/etc.! I already got the good ones in mind!

Joshua Bishop
Joshua Bishop

Feb-11-2007 16:00

I'm sure you can choose your pictures for FM's, because the same pictures are used for the same characters in the different parts of the Doomsayer trilogy. Can't wait to read your intro! The FM's are one of the best parts of the site, and I wish their were more!


Feb-11-2007 16:01

Here is the intro for "The Scottish Foul Play"...please read and give me feedback and if you think it has a chance of being submitted (i plan on making it quite twisty!)

I stared up in dismay at the swirling gray clouds, which looked just as cold and wet as I felt. It was a typical cold, gray, and rainy day in central London. It was one of those days when I wished I could be on a warm sunny holiday far away from this cold and damp place. With the ever surmounting stress from my gruesome job, I found myself longing to be as far from England as possible...sunning on a beautiful beach in Biarritz, or drinking brightly coloured cocktails while watching the Gaugin-esque painted sunsets from a beach hut in the Seychelles.

But reality strikes back cold and hard as ever, as the rain began to pour down ever harder and knowing I had barely a minute to myself lately, since I'd been running errands all morning. Food shopping, picking up my suits from Penelope Pins, consulting with my accountant in Edgware, stopping at the arms shop in Uxbridge since my favourite pistol I'd owned since I was sixteen was lost in my last case, and finally then having to go all the way across town to Elephant and Castle to visit my ever-worried mum, who wished I'd settle down and live a fairly normal life that didn't involve evading death so much.

By the time I made it back to central London, in the ever-crowded King's Cross-St. Pancras tube station, I felt that if I didn't have a fag anytime soon I'd ironically enough feel like murder. I stopped at the newsagent and bought a pack of Chesterfields and in desperation, shielded the match with my hand.

Though the swooping wind and rain came down in torrents, quelching the matches, and every attempt to light my Chesterfield proved totally futile and I was down to my last match.

Fortunately for me, The Owl and Walnut was only a few doors down from the St. Pancras newsagent.


Feb-11-2007 16:03

I figured I'd go on in for it had been a long day, and not only could I smoke in a warm and dry place, but I sure could do with a nice tall pint of Guinness and one of Bernie's wife's delicious homemade kidney pies.

I took my usual seat at the bar.

Sure enough, that shady trickster in the back gave me a nasty smirk, and I averted my eyes to just drink in the usual assortment of working class men and women in all alignments of good and shady; all drinking, eating, socializing and enjoying themselves.

Then my big dark glass of stout and steaming kidney pie appeared on the bar.

I was getting ready to dig right in and that was when I saw her.

The woman was beyond words in how beautiful she was. "Striking" would not do her justice. She was of "black Irish" colouring, with porcelain-like blue-tinted pale skin, clear and sparkling blue eyes, and lush curly black hair that fell in a coupe cut framing her face. Cartier diamonds glittered at her throat and she wore a cleavage-baring black satin and lace Valentino gown. She brought her glass of merlot to ruby red lips and our eyes met. She lowered her glass and gave me the most wicked and disarming smile I had ever seen.

It was right then that I realized, it was Margot Diamond-- the rising West End theatre starlet, former burlesque dancer. What was such a glamourous woman doing in a place like this?

When her slinky Valentino-clad body ended up next to mine at the bar, I sure was going to find out.


Feb-11-2007 16:04

"Hello. Shady back there tells me you have a knack for capturing criminals."

"Who wants to know"? Though I damn well knew who she was.

Margot threw back her head and laughed. "I'm Margot Diamond, actress. I'm playing Lady Macbeth in--" she gasped. "Oh no I've said it!"

"Said what?"

"It's the curse of the Scottish Play! You shall never say the title out loud before the performance, it is simply terrible luck!"

"What, Macbeth?"

"No!" Margot had her hands over her ears. "I mean, yes! What you just said! Don't say it again! It's simply cursed luck!"

I shrugged. "Whatever you say. What can I do for you?"

Margot's gorgeous dark blue eyes narrowed and stared at me earnestly. "I think someone is after me. Tell you what, I'll even give you a free ticket to tonight's show at the Old Vic."

No shock, Margot was becoming famous in the London theatre district, a true West End star. Another reason I never had any desire to become famous, too many psychos after you. I thanked her for the ticket.

"Do you have any suspicions of anyone in particular?" I pulled out my notepad.

But before she had a chance to answer me, a gunshot broke out! People screamed and ducked behind their tables, or crouched down on the floor. Bernie called for the bobbies to come but took out his rifle he kept behind the bar for self-defense, Shady had his Colt pulled out, and I was reaching for the new pistol I bought when I just realized--

Margot was missing. She must have escaped in the middle of the fray. Either way, I hoped she was safe.

Between, Bernie, Shady, and I, we restored the peace and order. We all exchanged clueless shrugs with each other. Who was that bullet meant for?

I'd finished my food and drink and decided to go check out the play.


Feb-11-2007 16:05

I hopped on the tube and headed to the Old Vic where there was quite a crowd assembled. I gave the bouncer my ticket and the usher led me to my seat: Ms. Diamond must have had heard real good things about me from Shady, I got a second-row seat with a maginificent view of the stage.

I was never much of a theatre buff, I simply never had the time to go. But I'm never one to turn down something free, and hey, I deserved a holiday of some type. Looking around at the people around me, I realized I was sitting the wealthy elite who were seasoned theatre goers, along with the critics from the newspapers. I also recognized Samantha from the Imperial Library, who I waved at. I settled into my seat and got ready to sit back and enjoy the play.

Well into the play when an illustriously-decked out Margot Diamond was onstage, she belted out the infamous line, "Out damn spot! Out I say!"

Suddenly, without warning, the massive spotlight fixture came off its rail!

Margot, paralyzed with fear, let out a shrill scream and then was quickly crushed to death by the falling spotlight. The audience gasped and screamed. I quickly leapt out of my seat and ran up to the stage to meet a flushed and shocked stage manager.

"I don't know how this could have happened!" he cried as the rest of his cast panicked, screamed, and dispersed. "It truly is the horrifying curse of the Scottish Play!"

Suddenly, I felt terrible for saying "Macbeth" a second time in Owl and Walnut. Was I really responsible for this stage star's death?

I was lost in my own thoughts until a tugging on my sleeve pulled me out of it. I was greeted by a short and pretty woman in stylish clothing.

"Sir, Samantha tells me you're a private investigator. My name is Pravina Moore, I'm the costume designer for this play and have been Margot's best friend for years." I could see tears in her eyes.


Feb-11-2007 16:07

"I'm not sure about taking this one on, Pravina," I told her. "The police should be here any minute and rule this out as an accident. I think it's an accident."

Then I stopped myself. Suddenly I was flooded back with the memory of how affable and open she seemed to me at the bar, and "I think someone is after me."

"Sorry Pravina, I take that back. This might not have been an accident."

"I don't think so either. I can already think of a few people who wouldn't want her around, but everyone's saying it's just the curse of the Scottish Play. Oh, the newspapers are going to have a field day on this!"

A tearful Pravina begged of me, "Please take this case on before the police and the newspapers start making a huge media blitz out of the whole thing, I beg of you! Even though Margot was famous, she was in a tangled web of lovers, ex-lovers, old clients, and I think she was married to a barmy old sod at one point too. The police will think she just deserved it. Please do this, money is no object. Margot was the best friend I've ever known."

I couldn't possibly say no to this woman. I indeed had seen what a kind and charming person Margot was, she was just as beautiful inside as she was out. Famous or not, Margot deserved justice. And I badly needed the dosh.

So much for my fantasy of a sunny holiday in Spain.

* * * * * *

Whew! That's what I got. Let me all know what you think! --Rachel R. aka Squinky (yes, I'm a girl posing as a dude!)


Feb-14-2007 09:29

Update 2/14:

Well kiddies, the mystery's about 70% done. This intro has been revamped quite a bit-- so much that it's going to be split into 2 parts. I just need to write the twist, ending, and some character dialogues. Then it's off to the board to see if it gets used!


Feb-14-2007 09:29

Update 2/14:

Well kiddies, the mystery's about 70% done. This intro has been revamped quite a bit-- so much that it's going to be split into 2 parts. I just need to write the twist, ending, and some character dialogues. Then it's off to the board to see if it gets used!

Story Teller

Feb-14-2007 14:43

It'll be great to see a new FM up when you finish :)

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