Sleuth Home - Message Boards - The Gumshoe Lounge

0 0
Confess, ye sleuthy sinners!
  <<First Page  |  <Previous Next>  |  Last Page>>  

Old Shoe

Nov-16-2006 00:47

Sooo...the mighty gumshoe board feels a bit slow today. *Bob the Builder voice* Can we fix it? Yes we can!

Got a skeleton pounding on your closet? A secret in the attic? A monkey (no, not precious Bobo...and not the raging back hair you try to pass off as a Bonobo backpack either) on your back?

Let it all out, boo.

K, I'll start with a few (true) examples.

When I was 16, I robbed the house belonging to to heir of a pickle dynasty.

I used to steal Volkswagen signs to be more like one of the Beastie Boys.

I have bought more than one kind of deodorant in the same day, on the advice of a friend.

I salivate a little whenever I walk by a hot dog vendor.

I totally car-megeddoned a pigeon last month.

Sometimes, I find Bob Sagat funny.

I'm Canadian and I really don't care about hockey.

Plus, I covet my neighbor's ox every day.




Jul-21-2007 07:08

^I love imdb too! and I watched the Brady Bunch movie and - don't tell anyone this- really enjoyed it.
And when I grow up I'm going to marry Rafael Nadal or Dr Gates in ER.

Jim Diamond
Jim Diamond

Jul-21-2007 17:30

- I once burned down a storage shack with two friends, on accident, and almost an adjoining after-school centre.

- Although it's certainly nothing I'm proud of I've driven under influence several times.

- I've set myself on fire four times. Two on purpose and two by accident. The latter was my face.

- I am 29 years of age and watched all three Pokémon-movies at the theatre. I cried when I watched the first one the second time at a friend's place. I also cried when I watched "Brother Bear".

- One time when I left the apartment of a one-night stand the girl said "Don't you wanna know my name?".

- I've eaten cat food.

- I'm psychic, though I don't like the fact too much, but I reckon It'll be ok once I learn how to control it. Personally I don't think of it as supernatural.

- I enjoy watching other people play computer games.

- On two occasions I've used cement mixers at construction sites as a merry-go-round. One of the times I broke into a locked cabinet to get access to a socket to hook it up.

- I do, for some strange reason, know how to spank someone properly (although it's not something I enjoy doing).

- I once fell asleep watching Slayer play live on stage.

Old Shoe

Jul-21-2007 23:10

BAM! That's what I'm talking about!

(also: hi marmalade! Nice to see your name on the boards again :))

When I was working for Greenpeace, I used to tell the people whose doors I knocked on begging for money that if they felt really passionately about it, they could give instead to a super-secret side organization called "Green Vanguard", which was more militant. Cash only, no receipts.

I'm jealous of the guys on the show 'Entourage'.

I dropped my niece when she was a baby.

I intentionally speed up when someone's trying to pass me on the highway, sometimes.

I once ate three chickens at one sitting.

I have literally sold the shirt off my back for food money.

Even though I'm probably never going to wear an earring again, every few months I do the old safety pin test to make sure I could, should the moment grab me, resume my youthful rebellious streak.

When I hear cool music in movies or commercials, I make solemn plans to look it up, then never do because I'm lazy and have the short term memory of a viagra-test rat.

I've braided Guatemalan dolls into my hair, along with countless other trinkets of early-90s hippie sophistication.

Just today, I stole three onions from my parents house (they're away on vacation).

Jim Diamond
Jim Diamond

Jul-22-2007 05:19

- Once, for no reason, I decided to see how long I could go without showering. I managed two and a half week. Then my girlfriend started complaining.

- One of the first things I did after moving to my new apartment was to lock myself outside, at about four o'clock in the morning, wearing nothing but a pair of pants, and then break into my apartment.

- I've streaked on several occassions. One of them in about four inches of snow around the block.

- I have dreamt twice that I can do a forward split.

- If I won a million dollars the first thing I'd do would be to buy a trip into space and back (they sell them at the local travel agency for about $100 000).

- Long time ago I would on occassion (not on purpose) behave like a cat and do things like wash myself several times a day, and after doing the laundry instead of folding it and putting it in the closet I poured it out in a pile on top of my bed, made a hollow in the middle and slept in it all curled up.


Jul-22-2007 10:47

Crunchpatty- I have to admit I have not read the whole thread, but I read your beginning and I have to laugh. Then I just stumbled upon your most recent-you are too funny. Did you really do the door to door thing.

I once worked at a shelter and would take the donated toothpaste, tooth brushes and deodrant home for my own personal use.

I once was arrested for shop lifting my senior year of high school.

I once climbed through my ex-boyfriends window because he was ignoring me at the door.

I once hit a car in a parking lot and drove off.

Crunchpatty-a few weeks ago, I took a whole grocery bag of stuff from my parents house:)

Old Shoe

Jul-23-2007 00:12

prince - Yup. I did the door canvass thing, for real and for true. How does one go about shoplifting a year of high school? Cuz five is just too many :P

It was a truly craptacular job. You haven't lived until you've been forced, point blank, to come up with an answer to the statement "No hippy, I can't give you money because I'm busy with my wife's monthly enema".

Oh, and today I was at my parents again and I stole a box of farfalle pasta.

I often eat whole plates of food I've ordered in restaurants even though it makes me gag because I don't want to look like I didn't know what I was ordering.

Your window story is jogging some memories (actually now that I think of it the whole relationship filed should be a pretty rich ground for confessions here...come on people! Don't tell me you've never embarrassed yourself in the name of love!)

I once carried a rose in my teeth for 3 hours so I'd appear spontaneous when she first saw me. (No humming of 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' required here...I know that, now).

Sometimes when I get a call from missus Patty in the middle of the day I write down subject keywords on my sleuthing notebook so I can study them in order to appear like I remember what she was talking about when she asks me "Hey, remember when I told you..."

Circumstances and laundry issues have forced me to make the difficult decision between wearing women's underwear (what the living HELL is the tassle for, really???) and going commando on at least two occasions.

Jim Diamond
Jim Diamond

Jul-23-2007 05:00

Commando for the win.

- I once was supposed to sleep at a lady friends place after a party which she didn't attend. Once I got to her house she was asleep, so I decided to climb the nine story building and try to access her apartment from the inner yard. I abandonded the idea when I was hanging by my hands from the balcony on the third floor.

- I once participated in a mass eating contest between me and a friend at Pizza Hut's buffet. I managed to eat eleven and a half slices of pizza (which equals almost two, since they cut them up in six slices each).

- One time I decided to see how much water I could drink in one day. I managed to gulp down more than a gallon (four litres) before breakfast which gave me some sort of shock that caused tunnel sight and loss of balance, making me seem drunk (although it only lasted for a couple of minutes). By the end of the day when I stopped drinking I was half through my 12th liter bottle (just above three gallons).

- I prefer bathing nude, and as often as possible visit a nudist beach by the sea. On occassion I walk around nude in my home, unless it's too cold. I still don't consider myself a naturist/nudist in the proper sense.

Jim Diamond
Jim Diamond

Jul-23-2007 05:02

Sorry. We call the ground floor "first floor" here in Sweden, so make that "balcony on the second floor".

And I lost that pizza eating contest.

Lucky Stiff

Jul-23-2007 06:16

Watch that water thing...ask a radio show in CA what happens when you feel drunk from drinking too much water.


Jim Diamond
Jim Diamond

Jul-23-2007 10:35

Not much happens. And to die from inner drowning you have to drink close to 20 gallons (more than 70 litres). But one can reason that too much of anything is not good for you. Ok, so I like pushing limits. I've been walking a lot as well..

- I walked about fourteen or fifteen miles one time last fall. That experiment ain't over yet however. My goal is to walk to a town that's just a bit more than 60 miles from where I live. In one day. Not sure I'll make it, but I'm gonna try.

  <<First Page  |  <Previous Next>  |  Last Page>>  

[ You must login to reply ]