I heart stupidity. When you see it, post it here. I'll start.
Some of you know that I've do some teaching of first year sociology students in university. I really enjoy it, and love my students, but -GAWD- grading their work is a nightmare.
Through the course of a year, they have to write short essays on a range of topics ---feminism, Karl Marx, education, Freud, crime, etc. I feel kinda guilty laughing at these because of course they are writing under extreme pressure, but holy bobo I find them funny! Every so often, they write something so frickin' hysterical that it makes me gag laughing. These fleeting gems, I collect. Thought y'all might get a kick out of some of them.
Here we go. (nb, all typos and grammar boo boos are theirs from here on, not mine)
"Education is not really as old as many people think. It all came about in
the 1960s when the Russians were more advanced with outerspace."
"There is no evidence of women in society until the late 1990s"
"Freud is the classic theory of gender he believes the boy has the penis the girl has the clitoris simple as that"
"Freud said that a boy who plays too many dolls might be a p_ssy in later life"
"Feminists think women are the lowest of the low"
"Education is bias it only works for children who come from families where the parents are rich white and male"
"Hitlar believed in the destroying the Jews, however, his dictation only lasted until he was alive, after it was forgotten."
"Weber saw society from his eyes"
"someone from the low class is no good to us. we don't see them as nonsuccessful. That is because of sociology"
"Max Weber is a known and accredited sociologist"
"All around us in our society it is, said to be all around us these 'bureacracy' for example God is higher than Jeesus. The boss."
Thank you so much, Crunch. *begins to wonder if this whole conspiracy theory thing has any merit*
Reminder: No need to be paranoid just because everyone's out to get you.
When I was a teenager, I was an exchange student in an English-speaking country colonized by the British. (I won’t name it here to protect those from this country who are not morons.) I had been there for about 8 months, when an acquaintance from school heard me swear.
“Where did you learn language like that?!” she asked me, like a scandalized parent to a 5-year-old. Puzzled, I mumbled something like, “I don’t know… back home, I guess.”
Also confused, she asked, “What language do you speak in Canada?”
“Oh, I thought you spoke Canadian!”
Well, it is a bilingual country, you know – English and Canadian
I’m living in Cambodia, and when I had been here for a some time, I took a little boat trip along the Mekong River. I had an enlightening exchange with the boat driver about fishing in Cambodia. He told me that Cambodians don’t fish. No, all the people who fish in Cambodia are Vietnamese. This is because Cambodians are Buddhists and don’t believe in killing living things, so they buy their fish at the market instead.
Though a natural (and intelligent) blonde myself, I have a friend who is so daft 'blonde' is the only way to describe her. Last week we were talking to friend of ours who is English. Someone said that they were sixteen this year and he replied he would be 17. The daft friend asked how come then said it was because he was English and english people are older. Then I said 'Hayley's in Italy' she replied 'no she isn't she's in Tuscany' Finally she looked across the field and went 'that's a funny looking pigeon' It was a seagull.
oh yeah and the 'instramenstrual roles' was great. Does this mean that once women reach a certain age their roles change to 'instrumental'?
Late November last year. A customer at my hairdresser's wants to book her next appointment before she leaves, and starts counting up the weeks. She asks the receptionist "What day is Christmas this year?"
Receptionist says "I'll just have a look" and starts flicking through the appointments diary. Looks up and says
"It's the 25th of December".
Actual excerpts from cover letters sent by job-seekers and clients to a Chicago-area advertising firm:
"It is my desire to develop and generate the revolving scheme to filter the consuming public in."
"Today is the first day of my life. I am terrified of the all-out approach I sense in my spirit. However I am not scared enough to let it stop me. I will sacrifice anything but my God (morals) and my family."
"Originally from Vietnam, I also offer experience in the following areas: Asian cuisine: I deliver in-box or out-of-the-box; traditional massage: I satisfy Client above their expectation; Karaoke singing: but also a lot of listening, listening and listening to Client. Would you like to taste any of those?"
"I want to obtain a deeper understanding of how Advertising firms."
"At school he is a student of advertising, on the streets of Chicago he is a student of culture and memes. This is Advertising, finding that elusive why. Charles understands the nuances of culture...He is all of us and one of us, he is the Cultural Chameleon."
"Who's better to spew out incite, than a college senior?"
"Looking for a creative person for your team? Deep studies on movies. Prepared for the totally unexpected advertising and Selling Blasting."
"I want to expose my creative ideas for a good agency not just that the agency is good rather to build a image of quality. Thus I am offering you this small note of request to give me a break by providing projects of
a. Creating concept TV commercials.
b. Print media
"Hi; I'm from Ukraine, and very interesting about profi advertisement. I have some interesting and absolutely new ideas (for example about car brands) but in our f---ing (sorry) country its unreal to do own business. May be you want to work with us? Its will be really good."
(swear I've seen some of those on the recruiting thread before...)
no description needed.
Here are a few "duhs" from high school students writing a short essay using analogies.
He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about
dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field
toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36
p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35
I looked at the product warnings and they were hilarious! Thanks