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biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Aug-23-2006 22:01

I have created a sleuth miracle!

IT IS THE UNHIJACKABLE THREAD!

Go ahead and try, but this thread is about anything and nothing, all at the the same time!

This is the place where Al can talk about world domination, Crunch can worship David Hasselhoff, SS can try and find even more complicated questions for his pub quizzes, Nikkie can advertise for Tim Tams, cfm can troll for more Sharpie victims, JR can beg for the chance to win Bobo back, and bedazzling can be a way of life!

So go off, rant and rave, talk about anything, i don't care, I just wanted to see my avatar on the page (when its actually me anyways)

So go ahead, I dare you all to try and hijack me :)

Replies

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Jun-21-2007 20:29

I thought this was amusing enough to share:

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butts. I
cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet OwnersWho Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it "fur"niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember...


Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

This reply has been deleted by a Moderator

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Jun-21-2007 20:32

Remember...

Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2 Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't want to wear your clothes
9. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
10. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Sleuth Sindy
Sleuth Sindy
Pinball Wizard

Jun-25-2007 02:15

I can't remember who originally said this, but having been away from my dog for over four weeks due to work and vacation, I am feeling pathetically sentimental about my dog these days:

"My goal is to be half the person that my dog thinks I am."

It is the most humbling experience in the world to look into her beautiful brown eyes and see the absolute, unconditional love and complete trust that is there. Pets are God's love in little packages.

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Jul-7-2007 17:05

Hehe number 10. 'If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.'. This is the one that made me laugh the most.



Sleuth Sindy
Sleuth Sindy
Pinball Wizard

Jul-8-2007 00:01

Yes, but if you're cooking dinner and have to leave the kitchen, your dinner is liable to be gone when you come back! :P

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Jul-8-2007 02:26

If you think cats and dogs are bad try sharing campsites with horses, donkeys and mules. They make interesting companions. Oh and by the way, I'm back from my trip :)

jroepel
jroepel
Con Artist

Jul-8-2007 17:53

my favorite dinosaur is the triceratops

jroepel
jroepel
Con Artist

Jul-8-2007 18:01

have you seen the video of the guys putting the x-mas lights in the microwave? Crazy!

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Jul-9-2007 01:27

*microwaves a christian stegasaurus*

wait, what?

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