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Jul-2-2005 11:10

"A polite way in saying someone is dumb."

1) A few clown short of a circus.
2) A few fries short of a happy meal.
3) A few beers short of a six-pack.
4) Doesn't have all cornflakes in one box.
5) The wheels are spinning, but he hampster's dead.
6) One Froot Loop short of a full bowl.
7) One taco short of a combo plate.
8) A few feathers short of a whole duck.
9) All foam and no beer.
10) Body by Fisher Price and brains by Mattel.
11) Couldn't put water out of a boot even with the instructions on the heel.
12) Chimmey's clogged.
13) Doesn't have all his dogs on a leash.
14) Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.
15) Her sewing machine is out of thread.
16) His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
17) Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
18) Reciever is off the hook.
19) Too much yardage between the goal posts
20) Skylight leaks alittle.
21) The light is on but nobody is home


Lady Emerald Devon
Lady Emerald Devon

Sep-4-2005 20:40

Why did the koala fall out of the gumtree?


Sep-4-2005 20:49

Having a very bad day
You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.

You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.

You put both contacts into the same eye.

Your mother approves of the person you're dating.

Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.

You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful.

The health inspector condems your office coffee maker.

You invite the peeping Tom in... and he says no.

The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.

People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.

When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age.

You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.

You start to put on the clothes that you wore home from the party last night...... and there aren't any.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.


Sep-4-2005 20:59

Lady Emerald Devon, I would say the reason the Koala didn't fall out of the gumtree is because there is no such tree as the gumstree or it doesn't exsist, right? There is a Sweet Gum Tree though. I didn't check to see if there's a gumtree, but I wouldn't think so.

Lady Emerald Devon
Lady Emerald Devon

Sep-4-2005 21:01

*laughs* I walked out of my philosophy lectures. Naaa, the koala fell out of the gumtree because it was dead. But why did the second koala fall out of the gumtree?


Sep-5-2005 08:41

Ok, you've got me Lady Emerald. That was cute. Now it's possible if the two Koala's were in the same tree at the time, that the dead Koala hit the other Koala as it was falling out and knocked it to the ground, or he/she fell asleep..ha!

Lady Emerald Devon
Lady Emerald Devon

Sep-5-2005 08:46

*laughs* well, yes, the koala did hit it, and yes the third koala was asleep and yes, the fourth koala fell out because it thought it was a game... but the real question is:
Why did the girl fall off the swing?


Sep-6-2005 11:58

Yeah, can't believe I got it! Hum, this is a continued quiz...neat-o!

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Sep-14-2005 20:08

Did you know the following facts?

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

All polar bears are left handed.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

Don't forget to pass these weird facts on to everyone you know. They will ge

Blaise Joshua
Blaise Joshua

Sep-15-2005 09:11

Very interesting facts Makensie! I love reading these types of statements and wondering whether or not they are true. Two I must contest are:

1) Folding paper - I've seen in done eight times and believe it has actually been done higher.

2) A duck's quack - I've heard this said before, and I believe that it definitely echoes. No question!

: o )

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Sep-15-2005 11:13

hehehe when I read that about the duck, Im like why wouldnt it echo? They say facts but it would be interesting to know if all are true. I have to agree with the being impossible to lick your elbow fact, because I sure cant do it, and no, I did not try to LOL Unless someone has a Gene Simmons (singer on Kiss) tongue, it would have to be about impossible! I think anyways haha

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