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A Real Funny Joke
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DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-20-2005 20:14

Alex and Jack were always debating
whether Jesus was black or white.
Alex always said that Jesus was white,
and Jack always said that Jesus was black.
But, as fate would have it,
both Alex and Jack died on the same day
and went to Heaven.
When they got there
they rushed to the Pearly Gates,
to St. Peter and said,
"We have debabed all of our lives,
if Jesus is black, or white."
So, please tell us,
"is Jesus black, or white?"
When about that time Jesus walks up and says,
"Buenos Dias."

Replies

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-28-2005 13:11

Here's a couple of funny sayings....

Some people supports bacteria because it's the only culture they have.

Everythings funny as long as it happens to somebody else...hehe..hehe!

People who never get carried away, should be.

One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule and on every side of a fool. *__*

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-28-2005 19:44

I love christian jokes and clean humor....for laughter is good for the soul. Well, your wish is my command Pingon. ....You've probably heard this one but I'll share it anyway.
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A man was hiking through a forst and was becoming very tired, then he stumbled upon a farm that had plenty of horses. He asked the farmer if he could borrow one, "Well son, "the farmer said, "I can only lend you one because all the others are working, but it is a special horse. If you want to make it go, just say,"Praise the Lord!" If you want it to stop, say,"Amen." Now the man climbed on and shouted, "Praise the Lord!," and the horse trotted off, then as it ambled along it started picking up speed, getting faster and faster, the man became frantic and couldn't remember what to say to make it stop. He saw a cliff right in front of him, so he began to pray, and of course at the end of his prayer he said, "Amen." The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff, at which time the man breathed a sigh of relief and shouted, "PRIASE THE LORD!"...........
*************************************************
One day there was this little girl in grade school that asked her school teacher, "Can a whale swallow a man?" The teacher replied,"it is physically impossible." The girl said, "Don't you believe in the story of Jonah and the whale in the Bible?" The teacher said yes, but it is still physically impossible for a whale to swallow a man."...."Well, when I get to heaven I am going to ask Jonah if he really got swollowed by a whale." The teacher said, "What if Jonah went to ....ah, you know where?" The little girl thought for a moment then replied, "Then I think you better ask him."
*************************************************

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-28-2005 20:21

One Sunday morning a mom went in to wake her son and tell him to get ready for church, to which he replied,"I'm not going to church." "Why not?" she asked?" "I'll give you two good reasons why not, One....they don't like me there and two... I don't like them." Then his mom replied, "Well son, I'll give you two good reasons why you should go to church... one...you are 54 years old, and two...you are the pastor of the church.
*************************************************
The preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and shaking hands with the congregation as they left the church. After shaking several adult hands he came upon the seven year old of one of the deacons of the church and said to the little boy,"Good morning Jonathan, as he reached out to shake his hand he felt something in the palm of the boy's hand at which time he asked, "What is it?" The boy replied, "Money." Then after a short pause the boy continued, "My Daddy says you're the poorest preacher we have ever had and I want to help."
*************************************************
Three preachers went to a "Pastor's Convention," and they decided to share the same room. The first pastor said,"Lets confess our secret sins to each other." "I'll start," says one of the other two, "My secret sin is gambling. When I go out of town it's ...cha-ching....cha-ching. Boy do I love to hear those machines ring. The next preacher said, "Ok my turn....my secret sin is... I love being lazy and I hate working, in fact, I copy all my sermons from those of other pastors." Then the preacher that suggested them revealing their secret sins....was grinning from ear to ear as he said, "Well guys, my secret sin is gossiping and I can't wait to get out of this room..hehe!
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DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jun-28-2005 20:38

Sorry about the typo's ..shoot! I wish I had a way to edit. Texan pecks out messages using his pointing finger..peck, peck peck...it's so cute...lol. I get tickled watching him type, but at least he's trying. I started at the same level long ago.

Makensie Brewer
Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper

Jun-28-2005 21:36

I have seen that guy David Blaine. He freaks me out!! I would be afraid to be around him lol but it is rather interesting, even if it does weird me out a bit. There is a guy in the town I live, that can do that stuff....and everyone is quite fascinated by him. My fiance` asked how he does it but ofcourse he wouldn't say :) I dont know if I would want to know lol

biga1
biga1

Jul-4-2005 20:57

the vanilla pudding joke is funny but its an urban legend

Arabella Parker
Arabella Parker
Well-Connected

Jul-5-2005 12:36

The importance of a correct e-mail address:

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he opened his laptop and sent his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her email address and sent the e-mail to the wrong address, without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. Hearing the crash, the widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother, and read the e-mail still on the screen.

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've Arrived!

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. It sure is hot down here!

Madame Giry
Madame Giry

This reply has been deleted by a Moderator

DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jul-8-2005 14:30

Stupid people fearing
Ratings: 0.00 Rate It

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.


DaRu
DaRu
Well-Connected

Jul-8-2005 14:50

American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

* Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

* You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

* You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe.

* Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

* Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.

* You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

* You receive care packages from Europe.

* Your bologna has no first name.

* You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.

* You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

* You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

* You give blood everyday - for the orange juice.

* McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

* Consumer Credit Counseling services said "No."

* The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.

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