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Of Candy Canes and Sword Canes
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Riza Hawkeye
Riza Hawkeye
First Nomad

Apr-24-2010 08:21

A child’s high pitched scream rang out though the diner. “Mommy, I don’t wanna eat broccoli! It’s yucky!”

“You have to eat broccoli, sweetheart. Or else you won’t grow up big and strong!” the mother cooed, trying to lift a forkful of the nastiest looking broccoli in history to her son’s lips. Seriously, that thing looked like a giant plant had diarrhea or something.

“No!” the child screamed, knocking the fork to the ground. The sound of metal hitting a dirt and bug-encrusted floor made Riza’s ears perk up. She pushed away the mountain of lard-covered bacon she was eating and bounded towards the fork on all fours.

Upon reaching it, she picked it off the floor with her teeth, appreciating the feel of the cool metal against her tongue. By this time everyone in the diner had turned around to stare.

“Riza! Potato!” a voice called from behind her, simultaneously with a snap of the fingers. Riza’s right eye began to twitch violently, and then suddenly, she began to talk. “…no way that you can hypnotize me. I don’t believe in that kind of stuff. You think I’m crazy or some"” Riza cut herself off as she noticed that she was on her knees on the floor, surrounded by what seemed to be about 20 staring people.

“What’re you looking at?” she barked, turning to stare at each of them in turn. They all hurriedly turned back to their meals. The little boy from earlier was silent. “Honey, if you don’t eat your broccoli, you’re going to end up like that crazy lady over there,” the mother whispered into her child’s ear. At this, the child began shoveling the pile of liquid green slime into his mouth, not even pausing to take a breath.

Replies

Riza Hawkeye
Riza Hawkeye
First Nomad

Apr-24-2010 08:22

Riza walked back to the counter, and resumed eating her pile of lard-covered bacon. “Anyways,” Riza said, turning to a grinning Joseph beside her, “All that hypnotism stuff is a bunch of nonsense.” She stopped eating for a second and reached into her mouth to pull out a very long curly black hair. “Here ya go,” she said, dropping it into Joseph’s coffee.

(Anyone is free to join this RP. There's no particular direction this has to go in, it's just for some random fun, so let your imaginations roam free!)

Joseph Zeo
Joseph Zeo
Tale Spinner

Apr-24-2010 17:47

"Thanks," Zeo smirked, "Just the condiment I need for my coffee." He took out a cigarette and lit it. Inside, he was jumping with joy. IT WORKED!! All the books and trials on hypnotism finally paid off. Zeo had no idea yet what he will use it on for work purposes, but he was sure hypnotism would come in handy. There was just one more thing he needed to try...

"Riza, take a look." Zeo waved his fingers in front of Riza again. "Your eyes are getting heavier by the minute."

As if on cue, Riza's eye lids began to droop. Zeo smiled. What question should he ask? Remembering how Riza had always boast about her ability to attract men, Zeo giggled to himself and said, "Riza, how men have you really been with?"

Immediately Riza replied, "None. None at all."

Finally, the truth was out. Zeo snapped his fingers, "Riza! Potato!"

"...yes, coffee with hair in it suits you." Riza drank hers and looked out the window.

Sudden her eyes widen and before Zeo could ask her what was the matter there was a long clash outside the restaurant which shook the base of the building.

M. Lacrimosa
M. Lacrimosa
Sleuth About Town

Apr-25-2010 18:14

Marc woke up early in the morning. True enough that he was an early riser, but this was unlike any other sleep he has had. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at his table to read the paper and listen to some music on his small radio.

Feeling great, Marc walked to his office instead of drive. It was a nice cool day. The sun was bright and dozens of people were out walking instead of driving. As Marc stepped out of his apartment, he took a deep breath smelling the fresh air. "It's going to be a good day," he said to no one in particular.

For hours Marc sat in his office working on papers that had been collecting dust for weeks. During the mid noon, Marc left his office to get something to eat at the local diner. He grabbed a banana to hold him over until he got to the restaurant, for it was quite a bit of a walk from his office. He took his time eating the delicious fruit.

Three blocks from the diner, Marc walked by a couple of movers hoisting a large, Grand Piano on a pulley system up to the top floor of an apartment complex. "Good day, sir," Marc said nodding to one of the movers, who quickly nodded back and then snapped back to what he was doing.

Marc finished the banana and threw the pealing down behind him as he kept walking. Unbeknownst to Marc, one of the movers stepped on the peeling and slipped, falling on his butt. The piano fell to the ground with a loud bang, shattering into hundreds of large and small pieces sending some of them into the road. Dave Nicholson, the local delivery driver for most of the diners and stores, swerved his truck to miss half of the piano which lay in the road.

He lost control of his truck slamming head on into a light pole. The pole creaked as it fell to the ground in front of Marc, whom wasn't aware of what was happening. He stepped over the post and walked right into the diner to find five dozen or so people staring at the door as he walked. Among them, he noticed Joseph Zeo and Riza Hawkeye staring as well.

M. Lacrimosa
M. Lacrimosa
Sleuth About Town

Apr-25-2010 18:15

Marc looked around. The sharply dressed man looked stunned. "What's everyone staring at?" Marc asked curiously.

"Did you not hear that clash?" Zeo asked surprisingly.

"Clash? What clash?" Marc asked as he sat down next to Joseph pulling out his flask of gin.

Joseph Zeo
Joseph Zeo
Tale Spinner

Apr-27-2010 23:56

"Sounded like something big fell." Zeo said, I just hope no one is hurt. Out of curiosity, he went outside to take a look. Riza followed him closely. Zeo saw a smashed piano a few blocks down the road, and a fallen lamp post very near the diner itself.

"Wow, someone want to destroy the world?" Riza said as she looked upon the scene. Zeo shrugged.

He saw the driver of the truck stepping out of his vehicle and stared at the light pole he just bulldozed over. The front of the truck was badly damaged. "Are you alright partner?" Zeo asked as he walked toward the driver.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine. This piano come out of nowhere and blocked the road, so I did what i had to do..." the man in the rough blue shirt said, his face was turning red. "Now my engine is screwed. Man! I still have all these deliveries to the diners I must finish by 2 o'clock, or the cooks will skin me alive!" The man returned to the driver's seat to try to start the vehicle again, but all they heard was the struggling noise of a dying engine.

"Well, do you have trolleys in the truck?" Zeo asked.

"Yes I do have a few, but I can't make all the deliveries in time by myself," the man said.

"Let me give you a hand." Zeo offered. He walked towards the back of the truck. Riza sighed and followed her goodwill friend.

"Wow, that's wonderful! You're a great man, sir! I'm Dave Nicholson, and you are..."

"Just call me Joseph." Zeo replied as he opened the cargo door. Suddenly a horrible smell smacked onto everyone's face. Zeo looked into the container, and saw a corpse lying on some crates. The contain was too dark for Zeo to make out the details. Riza jumped onto the container and examined the corpse. "The person was stabbed to death."

From where Zeo was standing, he could only make out a long thin object protruding out from where the heart was. "Is that a knife? It seem a bit too slim to be a knife."

"No it's not a knife. The murder weapon..." Riza looked at Zeo with disbelieve, "is a candy cane."

Riza Hawkeye
Riza Hawkeye
First Nomad

Apr-30-2010 14:50

Marc came running up behind Riza and Joseph with half of a waffle hanging out of his mouth. “Whappenth?” he asked as he climbed up onto the bed of the truck and stared at the dead guy. He walked up to him and started poking his eye with one finger. Poke. Poke.

“Marc!” Joseph exclaimed, horrified. “Stop that!”

“Yup, he’s dead,” Marc concluded, continuing to munch on his waffle, making bits fall on the corpse.

“Here, let me get a closer look,” Joseph said, pushing past Marc and Riza. He stood right over the decomposing corpse and stared at the candy cane sticking right out of his heart. “This is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen! Who gets murdered with a candy cane? That’s just…not normal.”

A grin suddenly replaced the look of disbelief on Riza’s face. She reached over and pulled the candy cane out of the man’s chest. As she was lifting it up to her mouth, Joseph smacked it out of her hand, causing it to spiral though the air and shatter into tiny pieces against the wall of the truck. “Hey!” Riza protested, looking sadly at the remains of the candy cane. Joseph gave her a funny look.

“I’ll search his pockets. Maybe he has some I.D. on him.” One search later, Joseph pulled a black leather wallet out of the back of the man’s pants pocket. Inside were a single dollar and a business card that said simply “Michael Saunders FLORIST.”

“This guy could use some flowers right about now,” Marc said, licking the syrup off his fingers. “He kinda smells. And I didn’t know there was a florist in this town.”

“There isn’t,” Joseph answered, “At least not one that I know of. Hm….”

“So a guy got murdered in the back of my truck?” Dave Nicholson asked up from the ground, his face slightly pale.

“Yeah, with a candy cane,” Marc said, climbing down. Riza and Joseph followed.

“Well, I’ve still gotta have these meals delivered or else I won’t get paid. I’ve called a friend. He’s coming with another truck soon.”

Riza Hawkeye
Riza Hawkeye
First Nomad

Apr-30-2010 14:53

“But…a rotting corpse was lying on those crates,” Joseph said.

“Well the inside’s still good. All sealed and everything,” Dave replied, wandering off. Joseph sighed. What kind of oddballs was this town filled with?

“I’ve seen that kind of candy cane before,” Riza stated suddenly. Joseph and Marc turned to stare at her. “Where?” they asked simultaneously.

“In a tiny convenience store on the other side of town, near the truck depot. It’s where I get all my lollis from,” she continued, pulling a lolli out of her pocket and sucking it for good measure.

“Well let’s go then!” Joseph said, already walking towards his car.

“Hey Dave, call the police, will ya?” Marc called back. Dave raised his arm in acknowledgement.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Apr-30-2010 15:52

It was a bass. A wide-mouthed one at that. Fifteen pounds to the ounce, easily. It would have been difficult to carry it over his shoulder. Needless to say, the chosen method of fish transportation was not ideal. He started getting funny looks from the moment he entered the restaurant. Nonchalantly, Adam strode up to the counter and took the nearest stool. It was still warm, as if it has been recently vacated. That was nice. It served a dual purpose of making him feel warm and fuzzy inside, as well as drying him off.

The waitress came over, pad in hand, staring wide eyed at the soaking wet man with the very overactive right leg. Adam looked at her and smiled. "I hear you have a policy of 'you kill it, we cook it'? Could you cook something for me?"

The waitress nodded, and Adam stood up, reached into his trousers, and removed the fish. It was clear that it was still very much alive, and desperately vying to return to the nearby river. The waitress was dumbfounded. Well, she thought, at least that explains why he's wet. "It isn't dead," she said.

"No problem." Adam picked up the still warm mug in front of him, finished the tea within, and pounded the fish on the head until it stopped wrestling. "It is now," he said, handing it over. "I'll take it fried, with a side order of french fries and some mushy peas."

"Mushy peas?"

"Yeah," he said. "Just take some peas, and mush them up. I'm English you see, we like them."

The waitress shrugged, took the bass, and headed into the back. Adam settled into his new seat, and cleaned the plate in front of him. Then he noticed two other plates next to them, still groaning with food. "When in Rome..." He leaned over and cleaned both plates so fast they were both still spinning as he sat back down.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Apr-30-2010 15:52

A small stack of napkins sat inside a metal holder next to a bottle of ketchup. While waiting for his main meal, Adam started to use the napkins for the dual purposes of cleaning bacon grease from his face and drying his hair. After just a few minutes, there was a large pile of grey splodgy napkins building on the floor beside him. It wasn't long before the dispenser was empty, but by that time Adam was at least dry enough not to have rancid river water dripping down his face and onto the plates.

The door opened, and a blue faced man entered. Well, he looked blue faced, at least at first glance. As adam looked closer, he noticed that the man was covered in blueberry sauce. His mouth was half full of waffle, and he was trying to have a conversation with two other people outside.

"I'm hshjusht gomma gwab anuva for hthe woad..."

Andrew Corelli
Andrew Corelli
Huntsman

Jun-9-2010 22:02

"All right, pal, what's the emergency?" said Corelli, preparing his little notebook.

"Well, you see, mister officer, I really need that you take out that corpse from my truck, I have to make a delivery"

First thing you learn in the business, patience is everything, but this is enough...
"Wait... what!?"

"Officer, I really need to work, and your people is just taking pictures, asking questions..."

Inhale, exhale, 1, 2, 3, 4... inhale, exhale, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
"Oh, come on... you must be joking" said Corelli, you can't have a corpse in your truck and being worried about a delivery.

"No, officer, I'm deadly serious, I won't get paid if I don't deliver this stuff"

"Deadly serious?"Corelli was in a shock, "Oscar, take this f... fella to the station, I need a drink"
Cursing under his breath the day he returned to the force, Corelli was starting another day.

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