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A Leg-end is reborn
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Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Mar-18-2009 18:11

He knew it would happen someday, but maybe not quite so soon. There was the itch, but the itch had been there from the day he'd walked into City Hall and handed in his badge. Then there were the withdrawal symptoms. They weren't too bad at first. The folkes at Shady Acres Rest Home for the Elderly and Infirm had helped him ease into the transition, and the lazy days spent playing backgammon and eating apple sauce were quite fun, but that quickly died, just like a lot of the residents. The parking spaces were too small also, and the dents and scrapes down the side of the almost new Cadillac made it look more like it had served in the Great War than the pottering around town it usually did. Slowly, the itch took over. No more chases down dark alleys. No more sitting in cars, sometimes for days at a time, drinking bad coffee and waiting for a lead. No more clinking of handcuffs as another murderer is brought to justice.

It was no good. The itch was too strong, and only a shiny new detective badge could scratch it.

After taking the Cadillac back to the dealer, and losing half the new price for the damage, a trip to the local City Hall was at hand. Almost as soon as he stepped inside, Adam felt he was home.

Standing on the steps of City Hall, new detective badge in hand, Adam thought about what lay ahead of him. He wasn't as fit as he was in the old days, and even then he struggled to keep up with short women in high heels. Maybe a bicycle would be a good start. Maybe a diet would be a good start more like. Both of those suggestions were laughable though. The only diet he could think of was the See-food diet, and that only seemed to help him gain weight.Anyhow, the only rational thing to do now was come up with a witty and pointless name for his new detective agency. But even that was a strain.

Before he could give it any thought, a small boy approached him with an envelope and a big grin.



Mar-28-2009 10:43

Meanwhile, in a restaurant across town...

Anikka was truly enjoying her gyro, messy though it was. Wiping her hands on her napkin, she shook her head at some of the silliness in the newspaper. The mayor had recently been photographed dancing on a table at the Cabaret, dressed in a trashy looking flapper dress and winking at a goat. She blinked. A goat?

Turning a page, Anikka was just about pick up her gyro again when caught sight of Maria carefully placing a bowl in front of a nearby patron. "Thank you, this broth looks wonderful," said the patron. "And may I please have a fork?"

Maria looked baffled. "A fork? Surely you meant a larger spoon?"

"I said a fork, my dear, and that is what I meant. Fetch one for me, please."

Maria turned away catching Anikka's eye as she did. They gave each other helpless shrugs, and Maria shortly returned to the table with both a fork and a soup spoon, while Anikka moved her attention to a once familiar face at another table. Was that- could it be? Was it really Adam Carter?

And most importantly, why did it look like he wasn't wearing pants?

Her attention was once again turned as the broth-eating customer flung the soup spoon indiscriminately away - and right at Adam's head - while shouting, "The correct way to eat broth is with a fork! That is what I have said!"

Maria moved off, looking like she might either cry or break something. Anikka had been to Sami's dozens of times, and figured it would be breaking something. Sure enough, seconds later, the sound of crockery shattering came from the kitchen. Wincing, Anikka dropped a tip on the table that was about three times larger than she originally planned. Poor Maria.

Passing Adam on the way out the door, Anikka was about to stop and speak to him, but noticing him rubbing the side of his head with one hand while the other hand curled into a fist. Maybe this wasn't the best time.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Mar-28-2009 11:24

His first day back on the had been a very strange one. He'd accosted a madman in a dress, been accosted by a mad woman plastering the city in posters, and he had a piece of bloody balloon which made no sense. Maybe lunch would make things make more sense.

Adam picked himself a seat in Sami's and started to peruse the menu. He looked up from the menu, to see a slightly familiar face staring at him. Almost leering. If she kept it up, Adam thought, it would be a leer. He ducked behind his menu, and slowly looked back up. Still staring, Thats deinitely a leer then. As he struggled to place the face, he saw Maria head towards him with a less than satisfying look on her face. Of course, he thought, we aren't supposed to seat ourselves here. "Sorry Maria, I forgot about the seating arrangements. I hope you don't mind." She seemed to perk up after receiving the apology. "Don't worry, everyone forgets from time to time." She broke out into a smile so large that Adam wished he was wearing sunglasses.

He ordered a sandwich and a cup of coffee, then set about rolling up his trouser legs. It may have looked weird to an outsider, but to Adam it was as normal as spreading a napkin on ones legs. There was an incident in a backwater restaurant in Delhi that made him think twice about sitting at a table with trouser legs touching the floor. During a rather tasty regional dish known only as "Kuulma", he felt a strange scratching on his legs. It wasn't until the scratch became a searing pain that he investigated. A scorpion had climbed up his leg and nestled in his inner thigh. It didn't seem to take to kindly to all the movement, so it bit down hard its fleshy bedcovers. That particular incident left Adam walking like a cowboy for weeks.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Mar-28-2009 11:24

One would be quick to point out that there are no scorpions in New York. But then again, there weren't supposed to be any in the place he was in. Better to be safe than sorry. That was his new motto.

Adam sat looking at the balloon once again. What part did it play in this whole game? Was it just there to provide some gag at some point, or was its point more sinister?

He was concentrating so hard that he didn't even see the spoon hit him from straight ahead. It even took a few seconds for the hit to register. Picking up the spoon to throw it back, Adam found the source of the commotion that now filled his ears. There was a madman sat 2 tables ahead, banging on about wanting a fork to eat soup with. What madness. This is what he missed by playing backgammon and shuffleboard. Maybe it wouldn't be too late to go back there. As he was contemplating throwing in the towel, his food arrived.

Lucky Stiff

Apr-4-2009 21:44

topkebab walked down the street deep in thought. It was a new feeling for her. After a while she couldn't handle it so she stopped to make a list. Lists were good - they were easy to read.

"Things that are wrong in sleuthville:
1. I need a haircut.
2. Damn! I missed lunch again. No wonder my stomach is rumbling.
3. Ctown stopped taking his meds.
4. Big Lucy keeps moving her carnival and that you can never find that Larry of hers when you want to.
5. Agency locker room needs cleaning out.
6. Rumours of cutbacks at City Hall. New appointees from out of town. Press crying scandal."
7. Police department still as effective as a fly swat in the middle of a bee swarm."

topkebab finished her list and looked up, startled to discover she was right outside the barber shop. Through the front window she could see that the place was packed. She shrugged and pushed open the door. "Hi Octavia, I can see you're busy, I need to make an appointment with you though!" she called out.

At hearing that Octavia rushed over so quickly that topkebab instinctively took a step back. "topkebab! What about my identity theft problem? I know you've been working so hard on that, have you solved the case yet? I'm beside myself with worry! I know that business is booming but I'm sure it's unrelated, oh I need your help!"

Distant memories stirred in the back of topkebab's head. Identity theft... advert... ctown's radio show... ambushed during a routine trim... bullied into taking the case... it was all coming back now. "Um... sure, I'm almost finished, just got a few loose ends to tie up first..." she stammered. "I'd better go and do that now!" topkebab rushed out of the shop before Octavia could quiz her more.

Now even hungier than before, she headed over to Sami's for a late lunch.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Apr-5-2009 15:49

The balloon was giving Adam a headache. It wasn't just a flimsy excuse for a plot, it was a conundrum. And now the blood was starting to transfer to the pockets of his trousers. He decided to head back to Crazytown's record store and sort things out. The door was still laying on the floor inside the shop, as Adam had left it when he broke in earlier. As he sidestepped it, he was hit with an unusual odour. Was that haddock? Maybe there was some being cooked in the house somewhere. Adam held his nose as he headed for the stairs.

Rounding the top of the stairs, Adam understood where the haddock smell was coming from. There was a giggling coming from the bedroom that Adam thought was very familiar. He should do, since he'd had to put up with the noise for half the day. The giggling was replaced by a slightly lower pitch, yet still girly giggle. Adam stopped dead. He knew what was coming. Would it be a bad thing to burst in on them? He pondered it for all of about a millisecond before drawing his gun. Inching closer to the closed door, he turned the handle slightly and pushed the door open enough for the pair not to notice. The gun was trained at a position that shouldn't hit anybody when he fired it.

The four feet under the bedcovers stopped dead at the sound of a bullet whizzing into the bedstead. Adam managed to keep his composure for all of a second before bursting out laughing. He could see crazytown, but not his 'partner', but he already knew who it was.

"Did I burst in on something here?" Adam said, barely holding back a massive grin.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Apr-5-2009 16:59

Crazytown tried to move the bedcover enough to wipe the lipstick from his mouth without Adam noticing. It was a flawed move, for 2 reasons; Firstly, Adam had already seen it, and second, it unmaksed the hidden person under the covers. Adam was sure he knew who it was, but the sight he was shown made him think twice. It sure looked like her, but it looked as if the mysterious female had glued beard hair to her face.

Adam took a step back, as crazytown stepped out of bed wearing a pair of stockings and high heels. He was about to say something when Adam started running. Even though Adam was in comfortable shoes and Crazytown was in ridiculous heels, he still managed to catch up by the time Adam rounded the corner a block from the shop. Crazytown stood in the freezing New York air, dressed like a strange hooker, and pleaded that everything was normal. Out of a sense of pity for Crazytown's rapidly diminishing brain capacity, Adam took him back to the store to spare further embarrassment.

The duo headed up to the kitchen to make a drink, when they found nicnic sitting in a chair at the top of the stairs. Brushing hairs from her chin, she stood up and said, "I've been looking for you two everywhere, where have you been?"

Adam stared at nicnic with an eyebrow raised so high it was almost leaving his head, and a look that said the same.

Battered Shoe

Apr-5-2009 18:11

Nic snarled at Adam, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Adam’s look of surprise became a look of outright amusement and ended in the most horrific sounding guffaw that could be produced by a human being. It was really a hideous scene. Adam was doubled over twitching in what seemed to be laughter, but was making the most appalling faces and noises. A piece of mucus flew out of his nose and if not for Nic’s agility, it would have hit her smack in the eye.

“Were you in here just a few minutes ago?” Adam asked still snorting and grunting, but making an attempt at composure.

“Now I don’t know what you are getting at, buddy, or what you think you saw, but I can assure you, you have it all wrong.” Nic was now standing unsure whether to be repulsed or furious. “Good Lord, Crazytown, what is that smell?”

Crazytown leaned over to Nic and whispered, “I heard some strange noises coming from Adam. I think he may have let a few rip.”

“No not that numbnuts,” Nic replied loudly, “Although I wouldn’t doubt it. Don’t you smell something really fishy? It’s been here since I came in. Have you checked under your bed? Something is festering in here.”

“Doh!” Crazytown replied smacking his head, “I completely forgot about the fluffy haddock pie.”

“You keep a fluffy haddock pie in here?” Adam said, as he and Nic exchanged glances.

“No silly, I am baking one. I almost forgot about it.” Crazytown sauntered over to the kitchen still wearing his heels and fishnets, and pulled a weird looking pie from the oven.

“I am never going to be able to erase that image from my head,” Nic accidentally said aloud. “What are you going to do with that pie Crazytown?”

Battered Shoe

Apr-5-2009 18:15

“Fluffy haddock pie is my favorite,” Crazytown replied almost giggling, “I’m going to eat it. You guys want some?”

“No!” Adam and Nic replied in unison.

“Now back to you,” Nic turned and looked at Adam. “Just exactly what are you insinuating?”

Adam’s face began to twitch and become contorted again and Nic and Crazytown simultaneously groaned. “What I saw was plain as day; it’s really not open to interpretation. Hey, to each their own, I suppose,” Adam was snorting again and Nic ducked. “But can I just ask what the beard was for?”

“Listen it’s not what you think,” Nic’s face was red with a mix of embarrassment and anger. “I came over here probably for the same reason you did. I also don’t believe that bloody balloon is a weak excuse for a plot; I believe it is important. I smell a case here, despite the strong haddock smell " Crazytown can you put that thing away? " and I was trying to get first dibs on the inside info.”

Adam listened to Nic not looking convinced.

“I came here and Crazytown was in his dress as usual,” Nic continued, “I tried to sweet talk him a bit in an attempt to get some info on these balloons from him, but he was fixated on getting me to dress up like a man. He said he wouldn’t tell me anything unless I glued this beard to my face.” Nic reached in her back pocket and pulled out a ratty collection of hair.

Now Crazytown looked embarrassed, “Liar! You asked me for that…”

“Crazytown, shut up!” Nic shouted. “Uh-hem… So anyway, it was obvious that I would have to agree to get anywhere with this lunatic, and I sat down on the bed and started to glue the thing to my face. I guess I got distracted whilst staring at that world map above Crazytown’s bed, and I somehow managed to glue myself to his bed sheet.”

Battered Shoe

Apr-5-2009 18:45

“Oh yes, I remember now,” Crazytown giggled.

Nic rolled her eyes. “I was in the process of trying to free myself and Crazytown literally jumped on top of me to try to help I guess. Like some kind of super-hero or something. He went into his closet and pulled out a cape and flew through the air and started rolling around with me in his bed. I am hoping that he was only trying to help, but the scene was a bit bizarre. Anyway, that is when you walked in and tried to shoot us.”

Adam looked skeptical, “So assuming I do believe this story, it still makes you a borderline prostitute detective. Do you do everything your clients ask?”

“Those who live in glass houses, my friend,” Nic smirked evilly at Adam, “I’ve been doing some sleuthing into your past and have uncovered some pretty interesting tidbits. I’ve held my tongue, but since you cast the first stone…”

Now Adam looked frightened and started to back up stammering, “OK maybe we should drop this whole thing. I promise I’ll never say a word…”

“Oh no, you don’t get off that easy, buddy,” Nic’s evil smirk became more evil, “Well first of all I followed you last night and saw you go upstairs with that crazy landlady of yours, apparently sucking up to her after her appointment to office. I heard her cooing ‘Oh Adam, I’ve missed you.’ I’m not sure what that was about but it’s all pretty disgusting if you ask me.”

“Now wait a second we were just discussing the rent,” Adam kept backing away.

“Uh huh, then explain that lipstick on your collar,” Nic replied, “And while I was checking into your past in London I also turned up some interesting events. The Dumpster Incident? The Latex Glove Debacle? Any of those ring a bell?”

“OK. OK. There’s no need to go dredging up our pasts. Let’s just call it a truce. I’ll keep quiet if you do,” Adam tried to smile.

Crazytown giggled and clapped his hands as Nic and Adam both stared at him with a look of wonderment.

Battered Shoe

Jul-14-2009 01:30

Nic wonders where the Leg-end went.

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