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A Leg-end is reborn
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Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Mar-18-2009 18:11

He knew it would happen someday, but maybe not quite so soon. There was the itch, but the itch had been there from the day he'd walked into City Hall and handed in his badge. Then there were the withdrawal symptoms. They weren't too bad at first. The folkes at Shady Acres Rest Home for the Elderly and Infirm had helped him ease into the transition, and the lazy days spent playing backgammon and eating apple sauce were quite fun, but that quickly died, just like a lot of the residents. The parking spaces were too small also, and the dents and scrapes down the side of the almost new Cadillac made it look more like it had served in the Great War than the pottering around town it usually did. Slowly, the itch took over. No more chases down dark alleys. No more sitting in cars, sometimes for days at a time, drinking bad coffee and waiting for a lead. No more clinking of handcuffs as another murderer is brought to justice.

It was no good. The itch was too strong, and only a shiny new detective badge could scratch it.

After taking the Cadillac back to the dealer, and losing half the new price for the damage, a trip to the local City Hall was at hand. Almost as soon as he stepped inside, Adam felt he was home.

Standing on the steps of City Hall, new detective badge in hand, Adam thought about what lay ahead of him. He wasn't as fit as he was in the old days, and even then he struggled to keep up with short women in high heels. Maybe a bicycle would be a good start. Maybe a diet would be a good start more like. Both of those suggestions were laughable though. The only diet he could think of was the See-food diet, and that only seemed to help him gain weight.Anyhow, the only rational thing to do now was come up with a witty and pointless name for his new detective agency. But even that was a strain.

Before he could give it any thought, a small boy approached him with an envelope and a big grin.


Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Apr-5-2009 16:59

Crazytown tried to move the bedcover enough to wipe the lipstick from his mouth without Adam noticing. It was a flawed move, for 2 reasons; Firstly, Adam had already seen it, and second, it unmaksed the hidden person under the covers. Adam was sure he knew who it was, but the sight he was shown made him think twice. It sure looked like her, but it looked as if the mysterious female had glued beard hair to her face.

Adam took a step back, as crazytown stepped out of bed wearing a pair of stockings and high heels. He was about to say something when Adam started running. Even though Adam was in comfortable shoes and Crazytown was in ridiculous heels, he still managed to catch up by the time Adam rounded the corner a block from the shop. Crazytown stood in the freezing New York air, dressed like a strange hooker, and pleaded that everything was normal. Out of a sense of pity for Crazytown's rapidly diminishing brain capacity, Adam took him back to the store to spare further embarrassment.

The duo headed up to the kitchen to make a drink, when they found nicnic sitting in a chair at the top of the stairs. Brushing hairs from her chin, she stood up and said, "I've been looking for you two everywhere, where have you been?"

Adam stared at nicnic with an eyebrow raised so high it was almost leaving his head, and a look that said the same.

Battered Shoe

Apr-5-2009 18:11

Nic snarled at Adam, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Adam’s look of surprise became a look of outright amusement and ended in the most horrific sounding guffaw that could be produced by a human being. It was really a hideous scene. Adam was doubled over twitching in what seemed to be laughter, but was making the most appalling faces and noises. A piece of mucus flew out of his nose and if not for Nic’s agility, it would have hit her smack in the eye.

“Were you in here just a few minutes ago?” Adam asked still snorting and grunting, but making an attempt at composure.

“Now I don’t know what you are getting at, buddy, or what you think you saw, but I can assure you, you have it all wrong.” Nic was now standing unsure whether to be repulsed or furious. “Good Lord, Crazytown, what is that smell?”

Crazytown leaned over to Nic and whispered, “I heard some strange noises coming from Adam. I think he may have let a few rip.”

“No not that numbnuts,” Nic replied loudly, “Although I wouldn’t doubt it. Don’t you smell something really fishy? It’s been here since I came in. Have you checked under your bed? Something is festering in here.”

“Doh!” Crazytown replied smacking his head, “I completely forgot about the fluffy haddock pie.”

“You keep a fluffy haddock pie in here?” Adam said, as he and Nic exchanged glances.

“No silly, I am baking one. I almost forgot about it.” Crazytown sauntered over to the kitchen still wearing his heels and fishnets, and pulled a weird looking pie from the oven.

“I am never going to be able to erase that image from my head,” Nic accidentally said aloud. “What are you going to do with that pie Crazytown?”

Battered Shoe

Apr-5-2009 18:15

“Fluffy haddock pie is my favorite,” Crazytown replied almost giggling, “I’m going to eat it. You guys want some?”

“No!” Adam and Nic replied in unison.

“Now back to you,” Nic turned and looked at Adam. “Just exactly what are you insinuating?”

Adam’s face began to twitch and become contorted again and Nic and Crazytown simultaneously groaned. “What I saw was plain as day; it’s really not open to interpretation. Hey, to each their own, I suppose,” Adam was snorting again and Nic ducked. “But can I just ask what the beard was for?”

“Listen it’s not what you think,” Nic’s face was red with a mix of embarrassment and anger. “I came over here probably for the same reason you did. I also don’t believe that bloody balloon is a weak excuse for a plot; I believe it is important. I smell a case here, despite the strong haddock smell " Crazytown can you put that thing away? " and I was trying to get first dibs on the inside info.”

Adam listened to Nic not looking convinced.

“I came here and Crazytown was in his dress as usual,” Nic continued, “I tried to sweet talk him a bit in an attempt to get some info on these balloons from him, but he was fixated on getting me to dress up like a man. He said he wouldn’t tell me anything unless I glued this beard to my face.” Nic reached in her back pocket and pulled out a ratty collection of hair.

Now Crazytown looked embarrassed, “Liar! You asked me for that…”

“Crazytown, shut up!” Nic shouted. “Uh-hem… So anyway, it was obvious that I would have to agree to get anywhere with this lunatic, and I sat down on the bed and started to glue the thing to my face. I guess I got distracted whilst staring at that world map above Crazytown’s bed, and I somehow managed to glue myself to his bed sheet.”

Battered Shoe

Apr-5-2009 18:45

“Oh yes, I remember now,” Crazytown giggled.

Nic rolled her eyes. “I was in the process of trying to free myself and Crazytown literally jumped on top of me to try to help I guess. Like some kind of super-hero or something. He went into his closet and pulled out a cape and flew through the air and started rolling around with me in his bed. I am hoping that he was only trying to help, but the scene was a bit bizarre. Anyway, that is when you walked in and tried to shoot us.”

Adam looked skeptical, “So assuming I do believe this story, it still makes you a borderline prostitute detective. Do you do everything your clients ask?”

“Those who live in glass houses, my friend,” Nic smirked evilly at Adam, “I’ve been doing some sleuthing into your past and have uncovered some pretty interesting tidbits. I’ve held my tongue, but since you cast the first stone…”

Now Adam looked frightened and started to back up stammering, “OK maybe we should drop this whole thing. I promise I’ll never say a word…”

“Oh no, you don’t get off that easy, buddy,” Nic’s evil smirk became more evil, “Well first of all I followed you last night and saw you go upstairs with that crazy landlady of yours, apparently sucking up to her after her appointment to office. I heard her cooing ‘Oh Adam, I’ve missed you.’ I’m not sure what that was about but it’s all pretty disgusting if you ask me.”

“Now wait a second we were just discussing the rent,” Adam kept backing away.

“Uh huh, then explain that lipstick on your collar,” Nic replied, “And while I was checking into your past in London I also turned up some interesting events. The Dumpster Incident? The Latex Glove Debacle? Any of those ring a bell?”

“OK. OK. There’s no need to go dredging up our pasts. Let’s just call it a truce. I’ll keep quiet if you do,” Adam tried to smile.

Crazytown giggled and clapped his hands as Nic and Adam both stared at him with a look of wonderment.

Battered Shoe

Jul-14-2009 01:30

Nic wonders where the Leg-end went.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Jul-14-2009 15:50

"Wow Nic, you really know how to kill the conversation," said Adam, coming slowly out of a daze.

Nic stared at the ceiling, trying to work out how long it had been. After what seemed an eternity, she looked back down at Adam, who had the smirk on his face that told her he had worked out how long it was ages ago. Sighing, Nic sat down on the edge of the bed, took off her shoes and socks, and started using her fingers and toes to count. After recruiting Crazytown's right hand and left foot, she stood triumphantly. "2 and a half months, I think that's a personal record. I mean, I know I have a habit of silencing a room, but that's just ridiculous."

Adam was barely paying attention, as he rubbed his head and tried to remember what it was that was going on. Obviously, nothing had changed in the minute since he bust in on the 'couple' but it seemed like an eternity. He couldn't remember if he had come alone or not, but as he looked around the room, there was no fourth occupant, so at least nobody else was there now.

"I don't know about you two, but I've forgotten what I was doing here. I mean, I know I needed a lot of mind bleach to get this horrid incident out of my mind, but I didn't think I would lose the plot too."

"Plot!" Crazytown giggled as he jumped from the bed. "There's a plot? Wow. There was me thinking we were ad-libbing here. Well, hopefully someone will burst through the door in a moment and remind us what was going on."

Battered Shoe

Jul-14-2009 17:08

Nic looked at Adam a bit tired after that difficult counting exercise.

"Plot? There was a plot?" struggles to remember, "Wasn't there an envelope or something? And some crazy lady hiding in alleys?"

Nic sighs as the strain of remembering takes it's toll on her.

She looks over in the corner and sees a crazy man(?) dressed in fishnet tights and a high heels giggling and clapping hysterically.

"Who the hell is that?"


Jul-14-2009 18:08

Suddenly, Anikka burst through the doors, brandishing a large hatpin. "The balloon!" she yelled. "It's not just a bizarre and hideously contrived plot device!"

With that, she launched herself at Adam Carter, who seemed to have forgotten all about the balloon in his hand. As she and Adam hit the floor, no one noticed the little fly that buzzed in and landed on the wall.

"What are you doing?" screeched Crazytown, causing Anikka to shift her gaze from the balloon to the fishnet tights. "Crazy town, is that you? What the heck..." her voice trailed off as she then caught sight of the fly on the wall, getting up to walk over to it. Behind her, Adam and Nic gave each other puzzled looks.

"Harry? Harry, is that you? Hey little fly, you have to go home now. Crazytown, what the heck is that rancid smell?" Anikka's eyes moved from the fly to the man in fishnets, and he minced over to a counter.

"It's fluffy haddock pie," he giggled. The fly, unnoticed, buzzed its way over to the counter. Adam leaned over to Nic and muttered, "That is one heck of a short attention span."

Nic nodded solemnly. "I guess there aren't any answers forthcoming from that quarter," she replied. Anikka whirled around. "Hey, I HEARD you Nic! I heard BOTH of you! I really resent that implica... hey, is that a quarter on the floor?"

Nic and Adam looked at each other again, and Nic rolled her eyes.

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Aug-11-2009 20:16

Snatching the balloon from Anikka's hands, Adam resumed his earlier puzzled looks as he turned it over and over, hoping with each new rotation that something would materialise to show the point of the balloon, such as a suicide note or a confession. Even a bunch of flowers would be nice. But nothing. Nothing appeared to explain the appearance of the balloon.

"Anikka, where did you get this balloon from?" Adam asked.

"You know, I can't really remember. I was - ooh, hey, where did you get those bedsheets from crazytown?!" As Anikka ran twoards the linen, Adam started banging his head against the nearest wall. It was a full four or five bangs before anyone even noticed. By that time there was a large dint in the plasterwork. The wall didn't look too healthy either.

"Are you OK?" Nic asked as she handed Adam a tissue to wipe his face.

"I'm fine. It's an old stress relief trick I picked up in the... the... oh jeez, now I've forgotten. I knew there was a reason why I was supposed to stop doing that."

Suddenly, for no other reason than to breathe new life back into a stale plot line, Adam suddenly jumped up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Nic shouted after him.

"To see an old friend. I think I finally remember what this balloon is for. Unfortunately, if I am right, this is murder, and we are all suspects!"

Battered Shoe

Sep-7-2009 04:02

Nic watched Adam leave with over-powering resentment.

Murder! Pshheeww!

She is not a suspect in any murder for nut's sake. If Adam tried to pin some trumped-up charge on her she would release wrath like he had never seen. A balloon? Give me a break.

But what did the balloon mean? And why was Crazytown now in the fetal position in the corner?

"Crazytown! Wake up! Dave! For Christ's sake GET UP!"

Nic tried to have an intelligent conversation with him, hoping he could give her any insight into this alleged crime Adam was talking about. She needed any lead she could get to both eliminate herself from suspicion and to try to steal this case away from Adam. Nic had been going through a dry spell and could seriously use some dough right now.

Dave woke up and answered to the shouting a bit groggily, "Who, What, Where?"

Nic tried to maintain her patience and worked with Crazytown, "OK Dave, I need you to help me. I promise there will be a big reward for it. I may even agree to go out on a date with you. But please, help me.... What is the significance of the balloon?"

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