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The Rules
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crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Mar-1-2008 01:12

The first rule of Fight Club is... YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!!

Oh dang. Dangitty dangitty dang dang. Wrong room. Sorry. I humbly apologize to the corner of your parent's four-post bed.

My brain is hurting from thinking about whether this is a game or not. Stupid irony!

Teach the people the rules you have learned in the course of your travels: For example -

Don't walk in on your parents. If by some chance you DO make this mistake, don't try to cover up the awkwardness by telling either of them that they look like they've lost a little weight.

When you leave a place, just leave. Dont announce it. anyone who matters will have noticed you're gone.

Replies

Rich J. Mayo
Rich J. Mayo

Mar-15-2008 11:46

Never mess with a Cecilian, when death is on the line.

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Mar-22-2008 00:42

heh. Rich, I sincerely hope that you never meet anyone named Cecilia, Simon or Garfunkel while in Italy. You're liable to get up to wash your face, some back to bed and find someone's taken your place, parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme to the scarborough fair.

(muffles sound of eating weed-soaked cotton candy)

Something Vampiric Smile said reminded me of a bullfight, the sound of my dad waking up the morning after a "vodka" night and the many, many words they use in Scandinavia when they want to talk about fish. Good luck keeping your smelt to itself.

Something ctown said earlier reminded me of the unbelievably elaborate rules involved in the seemingly simple act of a gentleman using a urinal:

EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD, SOLDIER!

Look not to the left. Look not to the right.

It's basically the same as the rules for getting on an elevator, but more homophobic, and (hopefully) less thumb-twiddling.



Diane Russell
Diane Russell
Well-Connected

Apr-1-2008 15:46

LOL, crunchpatty, you're the King of Stream of Consciousness!

Kent Brooks
Kent Brooks

Apr-24-2016 16:51

Do not talk to strangers. Pretty common one.

Jesse Hunter
Jesse Hunter
Bibliophile

May-14-2020 08:06

1. Take responsibility for everything you do, say, and believe (because belief leads to action).

2. Know your limits: physically, mentally, morally. Realize those limits may increase or decrease depending upon the attention you give to developing them.

3. Once you know your limits, there are only two types of problems in the world: those you can solve and those you cannot (one must learn to bypass or accept these). Neither requires worry.

4. When you encounter an unsolvable problem, regain balance by consciously recall the problems you HAVE solved. The mind focuses and retains the negative by default as a learning mechanism. Positivity is a perishable skill which must be practiced.

4.5. If you feel you must change the world, know that you may only do so within your limits. Attempting the impossible frequently results in the disastrous possible instead.

Coda: you’re not unhappy because the world isn’t what you want it to be, you’re unhappy because you want it to be what it isn’t.


(These are the rules I found in my pocket written in my own handwriting on a bar napkin after a period of particularly heavy drinking during a bleak period of my life. I don’t know what Buddhist Yoda bar buddy I sat next to that night, but they’ve served me very well for over twenty years now.)

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