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Life's little lessons
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Gena Long
Gena Long
Sleuth About Town

Nov-8-2007 05:07

I've learned a few things in life thus far, some lessons were free, some I payed a pretty big price for, and some were stolen. Here are a few I've compiled; have you learned anything?

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential,



Nov-9-2007 10:37

Actually, his "No" might carry a little more weight if he stopped wearing that pin that says "YES! A thousand times, YES!"


Nov-9-2007 11:30

can i have some help? i subscribed but it hasnt been coming through on the game yet the payment has come through, help please?

Old Shoe

Nov-9-2007 23:59

Um. How about waiting a few minutes and not triple posting the same crap in the wrong place just cause you spent all your monthly skittle money online?

*Yoda voice*

Ctown and lilangel, training this one needs. Mess with the flow of the force, s/he did.

Okay so that's out of the way. Good.

Annika: a thousand times is nothing but flattery and you know it. It was seven dwarves climbing seven (separate) chest hairs, dangled seductively out of seven different tower windows.

Damn, Grouchy that hurts! That thing on the end ain't a magic goose nipple! The feathers are just for disguise!

*for no good reason, climbs a beanstalk*

Tireless Tiger

Nov-10-2007 09:45

Yes crunchy, this one needs some training, I think we are up to the challenge though. He was just a bit confused at the start. I will consider him my Padawan! ;-)

Old Shoe

Nov-11-2007 01:07

Easy with the spank-saber, though. Tough love ain't no love at all, yo. It's hard to believe the force is really with you when you're a red-Assed Jedi.

Continuing with the life lessons:

Bong-water will only make your mouth drier.

Sleuth About Town

Nov-11-2007 11:33

Don't try to read forums and fully understand them when you're fully tired and can't sleep. :D


Nov-23-2007 16:32

A few lessons I’ve learned the hard way in this game where when:

1) I sold stuff I didn’t mean to;

2) I played so long that I couldn’t think straight, and didn’t make sense on the message boards;

3) I actually fell asleep, then awoke and found I made a false accusation;

4) Awoke with salvia dripping from my chin;

5) My keyboard wakes me as it falls from my lap and hits my dog in the head.

Yea, it’s pretty bad when you trade in your computer chair for a portable potty so you won’t have to get up and leave the game, LOL.

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