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Writing Tips!

Cornelius Sledge
Cornelius Sledge

Sep-19-2007 08:40

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.


Replies

Cornelius Sledge
Cornelius Sledge

Sep-19-2007 08:41

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.
And finally...
35. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.



Stooby
Stooby
Well-Connected

Sep-19-2007 12:05

Erm... I've writen a few intro's and even an SM. And I like Cornelius a lot, we're fellow Endeavourors.... but aside from the proofreading point can anyone tell me what half of the above means????

Lady Emerald Devon
Lady Emerald Devon
Nomad

Sep-19-2007 13:31

Arrr, ye need only one tip me boy. Dat be you write about piraates. Everyone loves a good pirate story and a bottle of rum yohoho.

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Sep-19-2007 16:54

Yarrr I don't have no writin' tips their matey, but I suggest never skinny-dippin' with a school o' Barracuda.

cfm
cfm
Nomad

Sep-20-2007 07:30

*gets Sledges humor*

Heehee!! Hahaha!! I love it!!!

*giggles all the way back to her office*

Stooby
Stooby
Well-Connected

Sep-20-2007 08:11

Well Stooby has had the humour well and truly explained and pointed out to Cornelius that it was the poor choice of opening words that caused a major malfunction in his brain and made him miss the funnyness of the rest of the post!

Dave Von Wave
Dave Von Wave
Well-Connected

Sep-20-2007 11:12

I like, I like it a lot!

I find however that the spoken word ignores the majority of those rules. So any character that speaks could ignore one or two of the above rules for "flavour". If one does that it is important to remember which rules the character is ignoring and to keep it consistent.

35 is especially !

Kevin Greene
Kevin Greene
Thespian

Oct-1-2007 22:46

Very nice, and very funny Sledge!

I would agree with that, if this were being written in a third-person point-of-view. But it's written in first person. So:

1. Unless that's the way character (Hereafter referred to as C) speaks.
2. That's not an awful one.
3. True.
4. True.
5. Not so! Cliches are fine!
6. True. That's very annoying.
7. True. More-or-less.

Kevin Greene
Kevin Greene
Thespian

Oct-1-2007 22:56

Very nice, and very funny Sledge!

I would agree with that, if this were being written in a third-person point-of-view. But it's written in first person. So:

1. Unless that's the way character (Hereafter referred to as C) speaks.
2. That's not an awful one.
3. True.
4. True.
5. Not so! Cliches are fine!
6. True. That's very annoying.
7. True. More-or-less.
8. True.
9. True.
10. They're okay. Everyone speaks like that.
11. Where did you get that? They make everything easier!
12. Depends on language.
13. Unless C is speaking.
14. Unless C is speaking.
15. Not!
16. Unless C is speaking.
17. As long as C is NOT speaking.
18. No. That one's wrong. One word is fine. Okay?
19. Analogies in writing are as needed as a bear needs human flesh to snack upon.
20. Unless C is speaking.

(Sorry, accidentally clicked post)

Kevin Greene
Kevin Greene
Thespian

Oct-1-2007 23:03

21. True.
22. Unless C is speaking.
23. Unless stating an exclamatory sentence. (Duh!)
24. Unless C is speaking.
25. Big LOL! Apply that one whenever you want.
26. True.
27. Always use quotations, when needed. Like, when somebody is speaking.
28. Unless C is speaking.
29. Not!
30. True. (Sort of! LOL)
31. Don't got that one!
32. Everyone with C!
33. They're no biggie, as long as C is speaking.
34. True.
35. ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!


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