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Old Shoe

Aug-30-2006 01:51

I heart stupidity. When you see it, post it here. I'll start.

Some of you know that I've do some teaching of first year sociology students in university. I really enjoy it, and love my students, but -GAWD- grading their work is a nightmare.

Through the course of a year, they have to write short essays on a range of topics ---feminism, Karl Marx, education, Freud, crime, etc. I feel kinda guilty laughing at these because of course they are writing under extreme pressure, but holy bobo I find them funny! Every so often, they write something so frickin' hysterical that it makes me gag laughing. These fleeting gems, I collect. Thought y'all might get a kick out of some of them.

Here we go. (nb, all typos and grammar boo boos are theirs from here on, not mine)

"Education is not really as old as many people think. It all came about in
the 1960s when the Russians were more advanced with outerspace."

"There is no evidence of women in society until the late 1990s"

"Freud is the classic theory of gender he believes the boy has the penis the girl has the clitoris simple as that"

"Freud said that a boy who plays too many dolls might be a p_ssy in later life"

"Feminists think women are the lowest of the low"

"Education is bias it only works for children who come from families where the parents are rich white and male"

"Hitlar believed in the destroying the Jews, however, his dictation only lasted until he was alive, after it was forgotten."

"Weber saw society from his eyes"

"someone from the low class is no good to us. we don't see them as nonsuccessful. That is because of sociology"

"Max Weber is a known and accredited sociologist"

"All around us in our society it is, said to be all around us these 'bureacracy' for example God is higher than Jeesus. The boss."


Old Shoe

Dec-6-2008 01:18

Hi friends :)

This may well be the single stupidest utterance I've ever heard. Today at work:

Me: Hi, what can I get you?

Yoga chick: Hi, ummmmz, I just have a question?

Me: Shoot!

Yoga chick: Um. I'm like a vegan and stuff, so I don't, like, eat animal fat. Is your butter chicken made with real butter????

And on rolls the stupid. Here's some subject lines from the spam folder of my gmail account. My comments in parentheses (). I double dog dare you to say spam ain't really meat now. Unless you watch nascar :P

Make an impression of successful person wearing expensive looking watch. (What, this flava flav neck clock seems ghetto?)

perfection can dangle from your groin‎ (um, if you were watching you'd already know what I'm gonna can fuzzy dice)

add meat to the friend‎ ( I will! I was tired of snowball fights anyways!)

The best alarm-clock for your male friend that will wake him up easily. (DAVE! WAKE UP! And if you're gonna keep slapping it, you might as well know, that's not a snooze button.)

Hold the confidence in your palm, wear it in your pants.‎ Share you bed with beautiful woman because you can do that. (Yes! Let's I can! How will I know when the confidence is ready to be let go?)

Drunk Michelle Obama in bed‎!!! (Yes I can)

Bring up a dragon in your pants‎ (Bearded?)

If your wife became cold, light the fire in her ( Pyromania is not sexy. She said so while I was fumbling with matches)

Be the winner every night with magic (Does this top hat make me look sexy?)

Check how far her dark grotto goes‎ (Turn right at China)

We caught you on tape‎ (again??)

Want to be ready for action for 15 second?‎ - Click Here! (Okay, but where do I click if I rolling over makes me feel guilty while I'm snoring it off?)

10 sexual secrets to good family night life (Um. So wrong. It's nice to do stuff together, but you're going waaaaay past comfortable here).

Lucky Stiff

Dec-6-2008 09:04

Heard in a campervan site just outside of Vancouver:

Girl: Wow, I want to visit Hong Kong. I've heard it's really beautiful.
Me: (Thinking that Hong Kong is many things... but beautiful is not really the first word that springs to mind... ) Sure, yeah, why not.
Girl: I wonder how long it takes to drive there?
Me: (WHAT????) Um..... there's, like, an ocean in the way?
Girl: Oh no, I didn't mean driving myself, I mean like a tour bus or something.
Me: .............................................. riiiiight.

Cordelia Falco
Cordelia Falco
Battered Shoe

Dec-6-2008 10:14

Problem solved! She just needs one of these:


Dec-6-2008 10:17

Oh, TK... I'm pretty sure Mapquest can give you directions for driving over either ocean. I mean, They tell you how to drive from New York to Paris, so why not?

Carolyn Spark
Carolyn Spark

Feb-26-2009 12:18

My boyfriend and I were driving to dinner one night when we passed a tree that had been cut in some places to let a phone lines pass through it.
Him: Oh my god! Look at that tree!
Me: Um, yea, what about it?
Him: I didn't know they could do that!
Me: ???
Him: How did it know to grow around the phone lines like that?

Anais Nin
Anais Nin

Mar-11-2009 20:14

Please keep in mind that I was 8 at the time of this story, and I was really tired...

My family and I were on our way back home in IL from LA, and we had been driving for about 8 hours. It was dark, and I was looking out the window. I kept seeing all these flashing lights up in the distance. They weren't stars, but I couldn't figure out what they were. So I asked my parents, "How do those lights get up there? The flashing ones?"

My parents looked at each other in shock. The lights? Cell towers.



Mar-12-2009 01:47

so i'm doing a class about childcare, and my teachers talking about looking after the babies. She's talking about how many times you're changing their nappies.

Teacher: "So, you've got 5 babies and your changing their nappies 3 times a day... *looks around blankly* whats that..."
Random student: *murmers* um...15
Teacher: "Right... 25. That's a lot of nappies"

cue the whole class to look at her...

and this woman's meant to be teaching us stuff :O

Lolita Marinez
Lolita Marinez
Sleuth About Town

Mar-13-2009 03:40

All of us enjoying our Turkey roast and vegetables at the dinner table one night. Miss 18 suddenly breaks the silence with.......

"So where does turkey meat come from?"

Bela Talbot III
Bela Talbot III
Con Artist

Jun-15-2013 09:05

Gems. Gems!!! GEMS!!!!!!!

Bela Talbot III
Bela Talbot III
Con Artist

Jun-15-2013 09:06

I died laughing like a dead duck. Not like that metaphorical dead duck, but like an actual dead duck, which had died because it had stepped on a land mine or something.


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