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Old Shoe

Aug-30-2006 01:51

I heart stupidity. When you see it, post it here. I'll start.

Some of you know that I've do some teaching of first year sociology students in university. I really enjoy it, and love my students, but -GAWD- grading their work is a nightmare.

Through the course of a year, they have to write short essays on a range of topics ---feminism, Karl Marx, education, Freud, crime, etc. I feel kinda guilty laughing at these because of course they are writing under extreme pressure, but holy bobo I find them funny! Every so often, they write something so frickin' hysterical that it makes me gag laughing. These fleeting gems, I collect. Thought y'all might get a kick out of some of them.

Here we go. (nb, all typos and grammar boo boos are theirs from here on, not mine)

"Education is not really as old as many people think. It all came about in
the 1960s when the Russians were more advanced with outerspace."

"There is no evidence of women in society until the late 1990s"

"Freud is the classic theory of gender he believes the boy has the penis the girl has the clitoris simple as that"

"Freud said that a boy who plays too many dolls might be a p_ssy in later life"

"Feminists think women are the lowest of the low"

"Education is bias it only works for children who come from families where the parents are rich white and male"

"Hitlar believed in the destroying the Jews, however, his dictation only lasted until he was alive, after it was forgotten."

"Weber saw society from his eyes"

"someone from the low class is no good to us. we don't see them as nonsuccessful. That is because of sociology"

"Max Weber is a known and accredited sociologist"

"All around us in our society it is, said to be all around us these 'bureacracy' for example God is higher than Jeesus. The boss."


Jesse Hunter
Jesse Hunter
Santa's Little Helper

Dec-8-2007 09:04

While in Baghdad our humvees had smoke launchers mounted on the top. The theory is that if you're in a tight spot you can pop smoke and burn rubber. One day my Platoon Sgt comes by and tells me I need to seal off the launchers so that sand doesn't get in them... *begin the stupidity*

PS: "Seal those off"
Me: "What if we need them?"
PS: "The gunner can climb out and unseal them."
Me: "Sgt, in that situation, the gunner will probably be occupied."
PS: "Then just don't load them."
Me: "If they're unloaded, can we just take them off the vehicle? They block the gunner's sightlines anyway."
PS: "You can't take them off, you might need them."

The final solution was to leave them on, unloaded. Since carrying 16 smoke canisters in the vehicle was deemed too great a fire hazard (1500 rounds of .50 caliber incendiary ammo is okay though), we were told to call on the radio if we needed emergency smoke and they would send out a supply truck.


Dec-13-2007 15:45

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.


Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."


Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
Witness: "'Winchester'!"


Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

Kevin Greene
Kevin Greene
Old Shoe

Dec-13-2007 22:02

:-) :-) I've heard some pretty silly but well-known ones myself:

Paris Hilton:

"Wal-mart? What's that? Do they, like, make wall stuff?"

Scary. Very scary. Here's another from Miss Eiffel Hilton:

"The Wall Street Journal? Is that good?"

Scarier. Very scarier.

My personal experiance with who very well may be the most idiotic person on Earth. The setting is a remote camp in the woods, lunchtime, in the mess hall. Me, my friend we'll call Pierce, and this dumb girl, who we'll call Georgia. In the midst of goofing around, we have this conversation:

GEORGIA: God made me stupid. *smiles as if complimenting herself*
PIERCE: *looking at me* She is, isn't she?
KEVIN: Apparently, yes.
GEORGIA: What???
KEVIN: If your dumb enough to admit it it, he did make you stupid!
GEORGIA: Well, God made me stupid, and since he made me stupid, he made you stupider than me, cause you're stupider than me. *said while stinking chocolate pudding on her nose*
*Kevin and Pierce glance at each other, than stare at her*
GEORGIA: What, stupids? *Georgia then ignores us as she sings "I'm Yummy Yummy" over and over and over and over and over and over and over...*

The lovely story ends with her sticking gobs of pudding all over her face, trying to stick it on everyone else's face, and sticking a plastic spoon up her nose. The big end of the spoon. She had to be sent to the hospital to remove the spoon, and I never saw her again. Scary.

Old Shoe

Dec-6-2008 01:18

Hi friends :)

This may well be the single stupidest utterance I've ever heard. Today at work:

Me: Hi, what can I get you?

Yoga chick: Hi, ummmmz, I just have a question?

Me: Shoot!

Yoga chick: Um. I'm like a vegan and stuff, so I don't, like, eat animal fat. Is your butter chicken made with real butter????

And on rolls the stupid. Here's some subject lines from the spam folder of my gmail account. My comments in parentheses (). I double dog dare you to say spam ain't really meat now. Unless you watch nascar :P

Make an impression of successful person wearing expensive looking watch. (What, this flava flav neck clock seems ghetto?)

perfection can dangle from your groin‎ (um, if you were watching you'd already know what I'm gonna can fuzzy dice)

add meat to the friend‎ ( I will! I was tired of snowball fights anyways!)

The best alarm-clock for your male friend that will wake him up easily. (DAVE! WAKE UP! And if you're gonna keep slapping it, you might as well know, that's not a snooze button.)

Hold the confidence in your palm, wear it in your pants.‎ Share you bed with beautiful woman because you can do that. (Yes! Let's I can! How will I know when the confidence is ready to be let go?)

Drunk Michelle Obama in bed‎!!! (Yes I can)

Bring up a dragon in your pants‎ (Bearded?)

If your wife became cold, light the fire in her ( Pyromania is not sexy. She said so while I was fumbling with matches)

Be the winner every night with magic (Does this top hat make me look sexy?)

Check how far her dark grotto goes‎ (Turn right at China)

We caught you on tape‎ (again??)

Want to be ready for action for 15 second?‎ - Click Here! (Okay, but where do I click if I rolling over makes me feel guilty while I'm snoring it off?)

10 sexual secrets to good family night life (Um. So wrong. It's nice to do stuff together, but you're going waaaaay past comfortable here).

Lucky Stiff

Dec-6-2008 09:04

Heard in a campervan site just outside of Vancouver:

Girl: Wow, I want to visit Hong Kong. I've heard it's really beautiful.
Me: (Thinking that Hong Kong is many things... but beautiful is not really the first word that springs to mind... ) Sure, yeah, why not.
Girl: I wonder how long it takes to drive there?
Me: (WHAT????) Um..... there's, like, an ocean in the way?
Girl: Oh no, I didn't mean driving myself, I mean like a tour bus or something.
Me: .............................................. riiiiight.

Cordelia Falco
Cordelia Falco
Battered Shoe

Dec-6-2008 10:14

Problem solved! She just needs one of these:


Dec-6-2008 10:17

Oh, TK... I'm pretty sure Mapquest can give you directions for driving over either ocean. I mean, They tell you how to drive from New York to Paris, so why not?

Carolyn Spark
Carolyn Spark

Feb-26-2009 12:18

My boyfriend and I were driving to dinner one night when we passed a tree that had been cut in some places to let a phone lines pass through it.
Him: Oh my god! Look at that tree!
Me: Um, yea, what about it?
Him: I didn't know they could do that!
Me: ???
Him: How did it know to grow around the phone lines like that?

Anais Nin
Anais Nin

Mar-11-2009 20:14

Please keep in mind that I was 8 at the time of this story, and I was really tired...

My family and I were on our way back home in IL from LA, and we had been driving for about 8 hours. It was dark, and I was looking out the window. I kept seeing all these flashing lights up in the distance. They weren't stars, but I couldn't figure out what they were. So I asked my parents, "How do those lights get up there? The flashing ones?"

My parents looked at each other in shock. The lights? Cell towers.



Mar-12-2009 01:47

so i'm doing a class about childcare, and my teachers talking about looking after the babies. She's talking about how many times you're changing their nappies.

Teacher: "So, you've got 5 babies and your changing their nappies 3 times a day... *looks around blankly* whats that..."
Random student: *murmers* um...15
Teacher: "Right... 25. That's a lot of nappies"

cue the whole class to look at her...

and this woman's meant to be teaching us stuff :O

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