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biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Aug-23-2006 22:01

I have created a sleuth miracle!

IT IS THE UNHIJACKABLE THREAD!

Go ahead and try, but this thread is about anything and nothing, all at the the same time!

This is the place where Al can talk about world domination, Crunch can worship David Hasselhoff, SS can try and find even more complicated questions for his pub quizzes, Nikkie can advertise for Tim Tams, cfm can troll for more Sharpie victims, JR can beg for the chance to win Bobo back, and bedazzling can be a way of life!

So go off, rant and rave, talk about anything, i don't care, I just wanted to see my avatar on the page (when its actually me anyways)

So go ahead, I dare you all to try and hijack me :)

Replies

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Sep-2-2006 02:07

*bumps and rants to keep Biggie happy*

*ranty old man voice*

In my day, we knew what money was worth, consarn it! You kids these days wouldn't know a dollar from a bathing costume! Why, back in nineteen-ought- three *falls asleep*

*snorts, wakes up and wipes drool from chin*

*continues rant* Mildred Goforth was the prettiest girl in school, and her father ran the coal mine. His name was Alfred - ol' Alfred coalthumb, we used to call 'im. Where was I? Oh yes, Mildred, she had blonde hair and all her own teeth, can you imagine? She was the first girl to wear a pleated skirt, why, before Mildred, there was a town by-law that declared any pleats the work of the communists!

*falls asleep again, wakes up with a shudder*

Communists? Where? Lemme at 'em!

Did I ever tell you about Mildred Goforth? She was the prettiest girl in school. She carried a lemon in her pocket, as was the style of the time. When I went to fight in the great war I gave all the boys from my town lemons, as a reminder of sweet Mildred.

Anyhow...I hear she joined a circus back in 38. Word is, she goes by the name 'Biggie528' now. But I *falls asleep*.

What?! Who said that? Where are my teeth? Consarn ye...

As I was saying...*falls asleep murmuring, "Bobo...Bobo"

K I'm done now.

Paranoid_Android
Paranoid_Android
Story Teller

Sep-2-2006 04:08

It doesn't mater if this is just an urban legend I've always liked it...

'ACTUAL' transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."

Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

AndreaX
AndreaX
Thespian

Sep-2-2006 14:14

OK..I am bumping this so the everyone can see Justin's profile!

jroepel
jroepel
Con Artist

Sep-4-2006 00:43

And now a joke for bad golfers everywhere:

´╗┐Jesus & Moses are playing a round of Golf. Arriving at a water feature, Jesus selects a 5 iron. Moses says, "What are you doing, Jesus, you need a pitching wedge for that shot."

Jesus replies, "Tiger Woods plays this shot with a 5 iron from here. If Tiger Woods can do it, so can I."

The ball falls dead in the middle of the water.

"Go on, Moses, do your stuff!" says Jesus. Moses holds his club over the water, which parts, allowing him to retrieve Jesus' ball.

Once more, Jesus lines up his shot with the 5 iron.

"Haven't you learnt your lesson yet?", says Moses, "you need a pitching wedge for that shot!"

Once more, Jesus replies "Tiger Woods plays this shot with a 5 iron from here. If Tiger Woods can do it, so can I."

The ball falls dead in the middle of the water.

"Go on, Moses, do your stuff!" says Jesus. Moses again holds his club over the water, allowing him to retrieve Jesus' ball.

Once more, Jesus lines up his shot with the 5 iron.

"Look Jesus, I'm not telling you again", says Moses, "you need a pitching wedge for that shot!"

Jesus replies with the now familiar homily - "Tiger Woods plays this shot with a 5 iron from here. If Tiger Woods can do it, so can I."

The ball falls dead in the middle of the water.

"Go on, Moses, do your stuff!" says Jesus.

"Go get it your self!" says Moses. Jesus walks out across the water & starts looking around for his ball in the water.

A pair of Americans waiting to play through ask Moses "Who does he think he is - Jesus Christ?"

"No," says Moses, "He thinks he's Tiger Woods."
---

As a bad golfer and as something of a heretic as far as church goes I've always liked this joke. It'll probably be deleted here fairly quickly, not meant to offend though. Just meant to make you smile. :0)

Lady Ruby Caplan
Lady Ruby Caplan
Well-Connected

Sep-4-2006 13:02

(continued)
I knew Markus was serious about traveling together again but I'd just finished University so mney was really tight. I'd only been on a plane once and the first time was when I was 21 so was no where near having a passport!
I told him that it wasn't feasible anytime in the ear future but to look me up in ten years.

The holiday in Franz was great. We went kayaking, swimming, hng around i hotpools by rives, got stoned, sunbathed and spent nights at the pub.
One particular night, started a 2pm.

Donna had always been a pool shark, to this day, I haven't seen anyone better at pool than her- guys or gals.
She spent the afternoon helping me and teaching me and although I am the worst pool player I have seen, there was improvement.

Being the first on the table meant our names were down and we were the challengers, if you wanted to play pool, you had to play us and win.

We were on a roll, Queens of the table, even i was sinking and winning games for us. And the amount of hot guys there that night was an dded bonus.

Mr Danish rally thought he was onto something with D and me flirting with him, until suddenly we both looked at each othe and realised it/he wasn't worth it. We'd let guys get in the way before and now that was in the past.

ALSO! This my hot guy from work were there. Before the holiday season, we had a group of English guys in for dinner all the time and in one of those bizarre coincidences, they were holidaying in Franz too!

However, the guy I had a big crush on left early. And a few others paired off, leaving one, por, loly guy by himself.

Being the friendly and social gal I am, I invited him to play pool with us, and, although he declined we started talking.
Later on we went for a walk to imfamous chuch. It was a really beautiful night. When you're in a small country like NZ with not many big cities, and when you're outin the bush, the sky is so black and the stars are so .. well.. starry. The gacier feed river roared

Lady Ruby Caplan
Lady Ruby Caplan
Well-Connected

Sep-4-2006 13:05

beneath us and it was all rather romantic. (He was also a very good snogger!)
Sam and I dated a bit once we gotback from holiday and he made me re-evalute my ideas on Nipple Piercings. And is probably the only guy I've dated that male friends have seen naked!

(to be continued)

Serena Barton
Serena Barton

Sep-4-2006 13:37

Chickens will rule the Earth!! lol.:D

biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Sep-4-2006 14:00

well said Serena lol

jroepel
jroepel
Con Artist

Sep-5-2006 04:24

[DELETED BY GOVERNMENT]

jroepel
jroepel
Con Artist

Sep-5-2006 04:33

pissed off, frustrated, disappointed...

embrace the depression justin, embrace the depression. No fun to be had on the boards today.

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