crunchpatty
Old Shoe
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Feb-4-2007 23:55
The quotable missus, during the final quarter of the Super Bowl:
"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, I get it so shut up. This is the last down, and a down is like a chance. If they don't move ten yards in the direction they want to go in four chances they lose possession of the ball. There a four quarters in a game. Stop laughing; you're laughing at me. Shut up. How many downs til they get the new quarterback? Oh that man caught the ball even though he wasn't a Chicago player, now he's running the other way. I think Indianapolis will win this game."
*will let this settle before he complicates things with CFL rules*
heard anything quotable lately?
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crunchpatty
Old Shoe
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Jan-18-2008 00:15
From the quotable missus patty, on New year's day a couple of weeks ago:
She: Nothing's open because it's New Year's, and I'm bored. Let's go for a walk.
Me: Okay, I like walks.
She: I need a hat. It's cold out. Can you look at what hats are available?
Me: *looks in hat box* Sure. There's a black and white striped one.
She: I don't want one. It's too stripey. Are there any others?
Me: Yes, there's one that's just like the striped one, but it's just plain black. Want that one?
She: I dunno. What does it look like?
~~~~
The quotable guy picking food in the food bank I'm volunteering in right now:
Me: Okay, I can give you some canned fish. We've got tuna, salmon, a bunch of canned ham which is actually there by mistake, and some other stuff. I think it's sardines.
Him: I don't want any more tuna. I know it's free, but how much do you guys think we like tuna? I'm sick of it!
Me: Something else, then?
Him: Yeah. See those oysters? Yeah, gimme those. I might be homeless, but I'm high-class homeless.
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crunchpatty
Old Shoe
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Feb-16-2008 00:16
The quotable ditzy kid running the alterations booth at my local ultra-trendy yoga-gear purveyor, while trying to buy my short brother some new pants so that he doesn't go to his pilates class in jeans anymore:
Me: Can you alter these to a 29 inch inseam?
Her: Did you try them on?
Me: They're not for me.
Her: We really try to encourage customers to try on the pants. It's better.
Me: Yeah but I'm not a customer, really. I'm buying these for my brother. He's Pretty short. Can you just make a mark to indicate that I want them to have a 29 inch inseam?
Her: Yeah totally!
*she measures*
Her: Ok!
Me: That's not gonna work. That's actually a 32 inch inseam.
Her: *gets out measuring tape again* Okay how long did you want it again?
Me: 29 inches please.
Her: On both legs?
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