DJ_Nuclear
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Jul-25-2005 18:35
ok, so i was bored one night and couldnt get any sleep until i wrote down this short story. i thought it was decent so here i am. if u want u could rate it or put another of ur own short story.
and btw, im srry but im not good at writing so it may seem crappy. as long as u get the idea, thats all that matters.
ring. ring. ring. "Hello?"
"bring the money to the local park."
Father: um... he said bring the money to the park"
Cheif: great, everone, set up a perimiter around the park. snipers stay out of sight. dont worry sir, your daughter will be returned to u allright.
Father: thanks, thats very good to hear
*ten minutes later at the park*
Kidnapper: i see u brought the money, bring it here and you can have your daughter back.
*one of the snipers accidentally drops sumthing off the top of a nearby building. the father notices it as its falling and starts running. the kidnapper hears sumthing as it hits the ground*
kidnapper: crap, you set me up, now ur gonna pay.
*there is gunfire everywhere. when the smoke clears, the daughter is leaning over her fallen father*
Daughter while crying: daddy! why? why did u get in the way?
Father: dont worry, (cough) im just glad i finally did sumthing right
daughter:dont talk like that!your gonna be ok. you have to b okay.
Father: I'm so sorry, i wish... i wish i could have helped you.
Nurse: doctor! hes dead!
Doctor:damnit!why did he take off the suit!
Nurse: you mean he pruposely exposed himself to the virus?
Doctor: yea, atleast he died happy though. it seems that the virus makes you hallucinate about everything the person has ever wanted.
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Makensie Brewer
Super Steeper
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Jul-27-2005 09:46
I was a straight A student in English,and notice bad grammar instantly , but I don't point out anyones mistakes,unless the story is going to actually count. This is just for fun so I find it not a big deal and pointless to make comments on it.
Tummey you did a nice job on the story, and if you have more to share,please do! :)
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DJ_Nuclear
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Jul-27-2005 21:45
well, it just surprised me that sum1 was as bad at grammer as i am. now i know how my teachers felt. lol
i only passed because of the vocab btw. only saying this because well, most people think english is learning grammer and essays.
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