Sleuth Home - Message Boards - The Gumshoe Lounge

Jul-2-2005 11:10

"A polite way in saying someone is dumb."

1) A few clown short of a circus.
2) A few fries short of a happy meal.
3) A few beers short of a six-pack.
4) Doesn't have all cornflakes in one box.
5) The wheels are spinning, but he hampster's dead.
6) One Froot Loop short of a full bowl.
7) One taco short of a combo plate.
8) A few feathers short of a whole duck.
9) All foam and no beer.
10) Body by Fisher Price and brains by Mattel.
11) Couldn't put water out of a boot even with the instructions on the heel.
12) Chimmey's clogged.
13) Doesn't have all his dogs on a leash.
14) Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.
15) Her sewing machine is out of thread.
16) His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
17) Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
18) Reciever is off the hook.
19) Too much yardage between the goal posts
20) Skylight leaks alittle.
21) The light is on but nobody is home

Sep-14-2005 20:08

Did you know the following facts?

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.




It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

All polar bears are left handed.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

Don't forget to pass these weird facts on to everyone you know. They will ge

Sep-15-2005 09:11

Very interesting facts Makensie! I love reading these types of statements and wondering whether or not they are true. Two I must contest are:

1) Folding paper - I've seen in done eight times and believe it has actually been done higher.

2) A duck's quack - I've heard this said before, and I believe that it definitely echoes. No question!

: o )

Sep-15-2005 11:13

hehehe when I read that about the duck, Im like why wouldnt it echo? They say facts but it would be interesting to know if all are true. I have to agree with the being impossible to lick your elbow fact, because I sure cant do it, and no, I did not try to LOL Unless someone has a Gene Simmons (singer on Kiss) tongue, it would have to be about impossible! I think anyways haha

Sep-15-2005 13:19

God's in a meeting, how can I help you.

But my favorite that has been on my desk at work for ::mumbles a long time:: is an old Far Side cartoon.

Two polar bears looking down over an overturned igloo as the eskimo runs away. One says to the other. I lift. You grab. Was that concept to complex for you?

Sep-15-2005 15:22

i admit to have tried the elbow thing :D

Sep-15-2005 21:18

Makensie, it's possible that a "Contortionist," could bring their elbow in close enough to lick it. Gosh, I've seen contortionists get in some impossible looking positions..lol! However, I haven't seen anyone lick their elbow, but I've seen things as weird..hehe. Like you shared Blaise, I enjoy reading them and checking some of them out.

Sep-18-2005 22:14

A mathematician wandered home at 3 AM. His wife became very upset, telling him, "You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!" The mathematician replied, "I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve."

Sep-19-2005 08:50

Hee hee hee DaRu!

Sep-19-2005 09:19

Quote: Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Which makes me wonder if it's any less annoying to have mosquitoes crashing into your forehead…ala with birds into windows?

Quote: Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

But once you've finished picking the skin out of your teeth, you're ready for a nap.

Quote: Turtles can breathe through their butts.

I've heard a number of humans exhale through their butts.

Quote: Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

I can relate…my wife often blinks rapidly upon seeing what I'm wearing…I think to make sure her eyes aren't fooling her (hoping they are).

Quote: It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

Reminds me of an old college trick of telling attractive females that attractive females are unable to touch their elbows together behind their backs. ;)

Quote: Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Look no further than George Burns...http://www.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1123/Mptv/1123/1001_0658.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Burns,%20George

Quote: A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

It's nice to know I won't be taunted before/after being eaten.

Quote: Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

And almost every female co-ed will at least begin to attempt to touch her elbows together behind her back…but it's juvenile, perverted and tasteless…so please don't use it.

Sep-19-2005 10:07

Hahahah Lasttrain. Good one.