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Rate the joke

Quartermain
Quartermain
Pinball Amateur

Jul-3-2020 07:31

Simple, post a joke and rate the one that was posted before yours.

Rating system

10) Hilarious, I can't stop laughing and they're putting me in a straightjacket now.
9) Very funny, I have a feelgood vibe now for the rest of the day
8) Awesome joke. I'm jealous now that I didn't post it.
7) Haha, I think I'll put this on my FB page.
6) Thx for giving me an awesome 3 seconds in my life.
5) Oh cool, a joke.
4) Yawn
3) I want those 3 seconds of my life back.
2) Help, I can't move the corners of my mouth anymore.
10 This was so depressing that I think I'm gonna cry for the rest of the day now.

Why do Scots were nothing underneath their kilt? Because they have a wee problem.

Replies

Sleuth Sindy
Sleuth Sindy
Pinball Wizard

Jul-7-2020 09:13

*rolls her eyes*

That would be -10)

Cro Magnon
Cro Magnon
The Tome Ranger

Jul-8-2020 07:31

No Joke.

Three guys die at around the same time. St Peter awaits them at heaven's gate. Hey fellows, according to my book all three of you have been regular goody two shoes all your life. As a reward I'll let you take a plunge from the jumping board into our swimming pool. While in mid-air you'll have to say out loud what your favorite drink is and the pool will be filled with it.

Guy no 1 makes a jumps and yells "Johnny Walker Black Label" and sha-zaam ... the whole pool is filled with the golden liquor.

Guy no 2 makes his jumps and screams "Bollinger Champagne 1988 vintage" and soon he's swimming in the bubbles.

Guy no 3 wants to jumps, slips, hits the jumping board with his chin and cusses loudly "oh shit, oh shit".

Misha Stevens
Misha Stevens
Battered Shoe

Jul-8-2020 11:23

My apologies Cro, but that one has to be somewhere between levels 4 and 5. I do like a good '3 guys' joke though. Here's another.

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman, all stranded together on a dessert island. One day a bottle washes up on shore. They pick it up, pull out the cork and a genie appears. The genie says he will grant them one wish apiece.

The Englishman says, "You know, all I really want is to be back home with my friends and family. I wish I was sitting in my local pub, with pint of beer, having a great time with my nearest and dearest." In a flash the genie grants his wish and the man is gone.

The Scotsman says, "You know, I hate to admit that an Englishman could be right, but I think he's got something there. Yes, what I really want is to be back in my home town, close to all my friends and family. I wish I were sitting in my local inn with a wee dram, having a good blether with all my pals." In a flash he is gone - the genie has granted his wish.

The irishman looks forlorn. "I feel really lonely now those two have gone", he says. "I wish they were back here."

Fatima Blusch
Fatima Blusch
Assistant Postman

Jul-8-2020 18:10

I give that an 8 Misha. :D

I'll come back when I remember a good joke.

Cro Magnon
Cro Magnon
The Tome Ranger

Jul-10-2020 10:59

+10 Fatima

Two blonde girls are sitting in a car while waiting at a traffic stop. Suddenly one says "it's green". The other replies with "a frog?"

Smile
Smile

Jul-13-2020 15:22

-10) *rolls her eyes*

A guy walks into a bar, and shouts: " when I drink - everybody drinks! "
Everybody’s cheering him, and applauding like crazy.
Feeling great - he finishes his beer, asks for another one, and shouts: " When I drink again - everybody drinks again! "
Once again - everybody's cheering him. He’s the hero of the bar.
When he finishes his last beer, he pulls out his wallet, and shouts: " When I pay - everybody pays!

Pasha Stevens
Pasha Stevens
Battered Shoe

Jul-16-2020 13:00

That's somewhere between a 5 and 6 from me, Smile : D

Another blonde joke.

Three women, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead, are stranded on an island, 100 km from the mainland shore. The brunette decides to try and swim to the shore. She manages 20 km before she flounders and drowns. Then the redhead tries. She manages to swim 35 km before she drowns.

Finally the blonde sets off. She manages to swim 50km but then feels pretty tired. So she swims back to the island for a rest.

Kittydetectivve
Kittydetectivve

Jan-21-2021 13:35

Oh, Quartermain, NUMBER 10!




Kittydetectivve
Kittydetectivve

Jan-21-2021 14:01

I love jokes and riddles.



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