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Sep-25-2013 19:03

My dearest clients,

Why, oh why do you keep killing people and hiring me to investigate?
You already know who did it, because, well, YOU killed 'em.

Love,
your Sleuth

Sep-28-2013 17:48

Dearest Sleuth,

I was deeply concerned by your appreciations of my nature and intentions. You can only imagine how offended I was when the accusation that I might have killed my aunt over a forgotten birthday was bestowed upon me. I thought I had made my case clear when I offered you the Bartender as my alibi; the Bar in which four other suspects happen to claim to have been that sorrowful night.

It brings me great displeasure to announce you that I am no longer paying you for your services, which have, as of now, become redundant.

Love,
your Client