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Josèe
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Anais Nin
Anais Nin
Thespian

Sep-4-2009 12:17

*Prologue*

In the mornings, when no one could see me, I cried until I was gasping for air. The pain of losing my husband, baby, sister, and a friend in less than a year was finally penetrating the hard shell of protection that had enveloped me for so long. But would I let anyone see me that way? No. Never. I was strong.

After I got my breath back, I would carefully dry my eyes, apply makeup, and paste a cheerful grin on my face. I would stop to pet dogs on my way to the office, say hello to people on the streets, and studiously avoid any baby trams I saw coming my way.

In essence, I acted as my friends had always seen me, and did my best to make sure no one worried about me. But I was falling apart, and wishing I would just die. There was no point in living anymore. All day long I hunted for murderers. I saw my family in every face that lay stiff and cold. Every case where the victim was shot made me remember being shot. And the days had begun to blur together.

Then the letter came. It looked like an ordinary letter. A long envelope, the return address was an Attorney's office in New York City. I looked closer. It was the attorney my father had used. 'Why are they contacting me?' I thought as I ripped open the envelope and closed the door to my office. Another envelope with a return address of Leake and Watts from Yonkers, New York fell out along with a with a note that had READ THIS FIRST written on top. 'Strange,' I thought as I began to read.


Replies

Anais Nin
Anais Nin
Thespian

Oct-21-2009 12:07

"Dodo, l’enfant do" was the song my mother sang to me when I was a child, and wouldn't go to sleep. Now, here I was, a mother singing the same lullaby to my little girl. I had never felt closer to my mother than at that moment.

I thought of the words as I sang them- so simple. So sweet. So innocent.

"Dodo, l’enfant do, [Sleepy time, the young one sleeps,]
L’enfant dormira bien vite [The child will sleep very soon]
Dodo, l’enfant do [Sleepy time, the young one sleeps]
L’enfant dormira bientôt. [The child will sleep oh, so soon.]

Une poule blanche [A white hen]
Est là dans la grange. [Is in the barn.]
Qui va faire un petit coco [It’ll make a small egg]
Pour l’enfant qui va fair’ dodo. [For the child who goes to sleep.]

Dodo, l’enfant do, [Sleepy time, the young one sleeps,]
L’enfant dormira bien vite [The child will sleep very soon]
Dodo, l’enfant do [Sleepy time, the young one sleeps]
L’enfant dormira bientôt. [The child will sleep oh, so soon.]

Tout le monde est sage [Everyone is calm]
Dans le voisinage [All around]
Il est l’heure d’aller dormir [It’s the time for all to sleep]
Le sommeil va bientôt venir. [Sleep will come soon.]"

I hadn't really needed to finish the lullaby for Josèe... she was asleep after the first verse. No, I had to finish it for me. I sang the last stanza again, with wonder that it was true- "Tout le monde est sage dans le voisinage".

Silently, careful not to disturb the child, I slipped from the room.

Ms Parr glanced up from her book, "She is asleep?"

"Yes, she is. I am ever so grateful to you, Ms. Parr. This really will only be for a few months-" I started to blubber.

"You can stay as long as you need to," she reassured me as I pulled out my hankie, hastily wiping away my tears.



Anais Nin
Anais Nin
Thespian

Oct-21-2009 12:35

The next day, I stood outside, my hair bleached to blonde with the help of peroxide, and finger waved. A slouched Fedora sat on my head- I looked like one of the many women trying to imitate the great Greta Garbo.

I headed off to find a job. I first stopped at Eye of the Needle, then at Chez Fromage, and even A New Leaf Teas, but none of the places I used to frequent would hire me. Thankfully, none recognized me, either.

I finally stopped by a tea shop, feeling defeated. A nippy brought me a cup, her movements jerky, yet competent.

"Thank you," I called after her. She waggled her fingers at me, intent on serving the next customer. I watched for a few minutes, hoping that my initial assessment was right- would they need help?

The crowd cleared for a few minutes, and I gathered myself up, and went to the counter.

"Excuse me? Would you be looking to hire, mum?" I inquired of the matronly looking woman in the maid like uniform.

Her eyes lit up. "Yes, we are! Are you looking for a job? When could you train?"

A smile spread across my face. "Would tomorrow be too soon?"

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