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Apr-8-2009 10:27

Ok, remember when you were in school, and you had write an essay, "What I Did Last Summer"?

Well, tell me what YOU did last summer. I mean you, the detective. It should be in character but it doesn't have to be about sleuth, since even detectives have holidays sometimes, right?

RULES

-Spelling and grammar count! I will put you on a blacklist and haunt you forever if u rite lyk dis.

-There is a 2000 character limit. That's one box.

-Contest closes Thursday, April 30 11:59:59pm. No exceptions.

-Currently I am the only judge, and bribes are welcome.

PRIZES

1st prize $100,000 sleuth dollars or a 2-month sub
2nd prize $50,000 sleuth dollars or a 1-month sub

So, what did you do last summer?

Apr-25-2009 06:37

"Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside. Oh, I do like to be beside the sea..." sang a small child as he strolled along the prom-prom-prom, tiddly om-pom-pom.

I looked out over the pier into the vast greyness ahead of me. Even the name of this place sounded depressing. Blackpool. Black Pool. It sounded like a dirty puddle. But, I was here now, so I might as well enjoy it.

I don't even know why I came here. Cleaning up in Hitchhikers, I found a small box marked "Serges Private Stash." Since he had aleady left, I thought it would be OK to look inside. Needless to say, I was dissapointed to find half a tub of what was once ice cream and a leaflet for a "visit to sunny Blackpool." Before I knew it, I was on the coach, with cash I "borrowed" from the safe.

I stood for hours staring out into the sea, before I decided to have dinner. The only thing I could find was fish and chips, which didn't seem like the most enticing prospect but, as they say, When in Rome. I found a plaice (get it?) with no queue - which wasn't easy - and ordered cod and chips.

"Would you like mushy peas with that?"

"Mushy peas? What are they?"

"Ooh, they are ever so nice," said a small fuzzy wig from by my side. "You don't even need to chew them! Its great for my false teeth." And for effect, she popped out her dentures.

Suddenly, I didn't feel hungry. I took my cod and chips (no mushy peas) and found a bench to sit on. Oddly, for the first time, I noticed how many small fuzzy wigs there. Many old ladies, all walking around looking alike. A shop next to the "chippy" told me it was a "Blue Rinse." This place was surreal. If these people been in the Great War, they would be telling everyone about it. Luckily, they were too old for that. That would be preserve of people my age. Once my knees began to knock, and my hair began to resemble Sterling Silver, I promised myself that I would sit here and talk about the Great War. I might even attempt to eat some mushy peas. But only if I had no teeth.

Apr-25-2009 15:12

I may be one of the only ones around here to get the plaice joke, but i must say i LIKED fish and chips when i was there, so long as i could snag it off the counter before the cook hit them with vinegar... As for mushy peas, if you run mint flavored envelopes (the kind you use to mail your entry in) through the blender and add green food coloring, voila, a plate full of yuck! Enjoy! And yes teeth are not necessary for the envelopes, but it helps to get them down if you can deaden the taste buds on your tongue! Next time, try a plaice (sic) more upscale...

Apr-25-2009 16:48

It's not often I take a vacation, but this year I though what the heck, the cash was flowing and the agency was stocked with detectives. I could afford to take some time off, my hardest decision was where. I spent many an hour looking at all the exotic places I could find. Two days later the decision was made for me. My mother; a bossy, know-it-all, busybody if ever there was one. I remember the conversation word for word.

"Helen darling have you planned your vacation yet? No, don't tell me you're not having one, I insist you take some time off. Why anyone would want to do your job is beyond me. You are a lady dear you should be working for a nice little company - as a secretary perhaps. Why must you take on a male job?"

I remember sighing out loud. Same argument, different day. My mother wasn't going to change no matter how much I tried to tell her, I loved my job, end of story.

"Yes mother you have mentioned before. And yes I am taking a vacation this year, I'd thought maybe..."

"No, no you don't need to plan your vacation I've already done that for you, it's ok you don't need to thank me dear the ticket should be on it's way to you."

"But, what do you, I mean, where are you sending me?"

I remember it was at that moment I felt my stomach sink.

"Don't worry dear you will see when the ticket arrives. Daddy sends his love."

One week later and I had been sat staring at the ticket, my fears confirmed. I was going on vacation...to my mothers. I hadn't tried to talk her out of it; it would be like talking to a wall. I resigned myself to two weeks of my mothers annoying, chirpy voice.

My suitcase had been packed...grudgingly, my cab had been booked...grudgingly, the liquor from the hostess was accepted...willingly. I knew I would need as much as possible to get through my 'vacation'.

I don't want to go into the details, but suffice to say, the journey had been the best part of the experience. Next time I'll stick to catching criminals.

Apr-28-2009 07:39

I was hungry. I was exhausted. I was happy. I was pregnant.

This was a new exciting experience for me; there is no way I could deny nor hide it for that matter.
A baby was growing inside of me and I was pampered by all who knew me.

As a trained detective I faced many challenges but none of them gave me the delight that I experienced during my pregnancy. My husband and I were thrilled for the arrival for our first baby boy.

Even though it was vacation time for many, I continued to work as a detective yet not with the same involvement as I did before. I also took summer classes at the university for I was close to obtaining my bachelors degree; and served in the military conducting office work which was not as bad as I thought it would be.

Yes, I had a very busy summer yet it was very rewarding to the same extent.

During the summer I was a Mommy-to-be, wife, detective, a scholar, an accountant and a sergeant. After contemplating everything I did, there is nothing I would have changed about what I did last summer.

Apr-30-2009 23:50

It was a hot, humid, sticky, lazy summer day. Perfect for floating in the pool and reading a good book. As I lounged, I kept up a steady stream of Marchino cherries to my belly. I sipped my sweetened iced tea, trailing a few fingers in the water.

"Heaven" I murmered.

At that exact moment, a shout rang out. "ANAIS! GUESS WHAT?!" A girl of medium height came barreling at the pool, slipped, and fell in.

The shout had startled me, causing my tea to upturn all over my bathing costume, and my cherry jar to fall into the pool, trailing red jucie like the blood from a shark's fresh kill. My book flew in the air, and, as I was fortunatly near the edge of the pool, landed on the side, and thankfully NOT in a puddle of water. I had managed to slip off my raft and into the water.

"SARA!" I screamed frantically. She had slipped in when she fell, but, where was she? I swam over to where I had seen her go in, and quickly scanned the area. There! I saw her, sinking towrad the bottom.

Quickly I sucked in a big lungful of air and dove. I grabbed Sara's arm and pulled her up with me. At the surface, I managed to get us over to the edge, and started to push my ditzy cousin out of the pool. It was hard work, and Sara wasn't helping at all. In fact... I looked at her. She wasn't breathing!

"Damn, Sara!" I growled at her, giving her one final shove to get her out. I hoisted myself out yelled for the butler, who came shuffling out of the house.

"Call the ambulence! Hurry!" I shouted at him, trying to remember what I was suppoed to do. I saw the butler run to the house out of the corner of my eye as I laid Sara on her side and pounded her back. Some water spewed out of he mouth!

I kept trying to get the water out, and, finally, mercifully, the ambulence came, and whisked Sara and me off to the hospital.

Later...
Sara was fine. Thankfully. I spent the rest of the summer lecturing her on summer safety, thoroughly enjoying myself.

Apr-30-2009 23:55

I almost drowned because I was running, and then I fell, and I hit my head, and slipped into the water, and I started to sink.

My big cousin Anais saved me.

Then she bored me to tears for the rest of the summer, nattering on about being safe.

By the end of the summer, I wished she had let me drown.

I am not looking forward to this summer.

May-1-2009 06:47

Did I win yet?

Great entries everyone, can't wait to see the results of tk's judging! :-)

May-1-2009 09:46

I enjoyed reading everyone's stories! :) Lots of fun.

And, I love how I just sneaked in there, 10 min left to spare...

And Sara? I do NOT natter.

May-7-2009 10:20

Ok so everyone knows I'm the most patient person in the world right?

Yeah thought not, so......anyway......I WANNA KNOOOOOOW

*stamps feet*

:D

May-8-2009 21:15

I'm not sure where my summer went, really. I feel like I did so much, yet I don't seem to have done much at all! I had a good run of cases before Easter so was able to cut my workload dramatically during the summer. With all that free time on my hands, what better way to spend it than down at the Owl and Walnut, getting re-acquainted with old friends?

I remember one afternoon quite well. Towards the end of the summer I was with an old pal reminiscing about our school days. Chalkboards, starched uniforms, and the obligatory "What I did last summer" essays at the start of every year. So in my gin-enhanced state I had (what I thought was) a brilliant idea. I could run a writing contest right here in Sleuthville! It would be so easy, just stick a notice up and let everyone else do all the work. Well, little did I realise how wrong I was.

It seemed to be popular and the entries came flooding in. Ctown, under the delusion that he was being paid to hang around the bar, put his in first, and very pleased with himself he was too. There were a few great entries from some detectives who I didn't know very well. Of course, if you make rules, someone's bound to break them. Mak, known to tell a tall story or ten, submitted a book! I smiled at her politely, thanked her, and promptly threw it in the bin. I didn't have time to read all that! And some upstart named Lolita didn't even write in English. What cheek.

The deadline came and went, and suddenly I realised I had to try to sensibly and impartially judge the entries. What had I let myself in for? It proved much harder than I had anticipated, and it took me more than a week to make up my mind. Eventually, without too much fanfare I put up another small notice announcing Sister Rosetta as the winner and Keira Ann as runner-up. I knew their reputations as great detectives, I was sure they would be able to find me without delay to claim their prizes.

The second hardest thing about that contest was forking over all that cash.