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Mar-18-2009 18:11

He knew it would happen someday, but maybe not quite so soon. There was the itch, but the itch had been there from the day he'd walked into City Hall and handed in his badge. Then there were the withdrawal symptoms. They weren't too bad at first. The folkes at Shady Acres Rest Home for the Elderly and Infirm had helped him ease into the transition, and the lazy days spent playing backgammon and eating apple sauce were quite fun, but that quickly died, just like a lot of the residents. The parking spaces were too small also, and the dents and scrapes down the side of the almost new Cadillac made it look more like it had served in the Great War than the pottering around town it usually did. Slowly, the itch took over. No more chases down dark alleys. No more sitting in cars, sometimes for days at a time, drinking bad coffee and waiting for a lead. No more clinking of handcuffs as another murderer is brought to justice.

It was no good. The itch was too strong, and only a shiny new detective badge could scratch it.


After taking the Cadillac back to the dealer, and losing half the new price for the damage, a trip to the local City Hall was at hand. Almost as soon as he stepped inside, Adam felt he was home.

Standing on the steps of City Hall, new detective badge in hand, Adam thought about what lay ahead of him. He wasn't as fit as he was in the old days, and even then he struggled to keep up with short women in high heels. Maybe a bicycle would be a good start. Maybe a diet would be a good start more like. Both of those suggestions were laughable though. The only diet he could think of was the See-food diet, and that only seemed to help him gain weight.Anyhow, the only rational thing to do now was come up with a witty and pointless name for his new detective agency. But even that was a strain.

Before he could give it any thought, a small boy approached him with an envelope and a big grin.

Mar-21-2009 21:08

Helen was starting to get strange looks. There's only so long you can look at a balloon without people thinking you're weird. Sat in Sami's she had spent two hours staring at the balloon in front of her. In that time she had drunk five cups of coffee and smoked... well she didn't like to say how many cigarettes. Too many, that's for sure. She didn't know why she was so bothered by it but being a detective she trusted nothing.

Ever since the 'social gathering' Helen had taken the balloon everywere, and spent every spare second looking at it. It couldn't have just appeared, someone had to have put it there, right? Crazytown came to her thoughts. He was certainly a little odd. Odd enough to carry balloons around with him? Probably. Still even if it was something to do with him how would she find out, she knew nothing about him although the name did sound familiar. Nic made sure of that when she glued herself to him that night. Come to think of it why was she so struck with him? She couldn't have taken a fancy to him could she? Helen quickly shook that idea from her head. Crazy, loopy and fanatical she may be, but she hardly came across as desperate.

Helen had tried calling nic several times since but she was either always out or avoiding her. Either way Helen needed to find a way of contacting Crazytown.

Finally giving up on the balloon Helen decided to take a walk up to the Tricky Mister and see if anything new was happening in there. There was normally some random person around these days. Good to see after the recent dry spell.

Mar-21-2009 21:09

It was quiet on the streets, but there was nothing new there. It wasn't the best of areas and most lots were either vacant or severely dilapidated. The old record store seemed to be hanging on though, just. That's when Helen slapped her head, literally. Crazytown's record store.

She dashed across the street nearly colliding with an oncoming car and rushed to the entrance of the record store. It seems someone else had been more insistent than herself to find Crazytown. The door was now hanging off one hinge not that you could tell just by walking by the place. The record store was probably the most dilapidated of all. Grabbing her gun from the holster she stepped in cautiously. The laughing confused her more. It wasn't just laughing, there were two laughs, one loud and one a cackle Helen would recognise anywhere. Following the cackle up the stairs Helen found nic clutching to a wall laughing whilst an uknown man stood clutching his stomach.

Glancing past them Helen finally saw what they were laughing at. The dishevelled man known as Ctown dressed in a short, sparkly dress with heels even she would struggle to walk in. Even worse, his legs looked as smooth as silk.

"I'm not even going to ask" was all Helen could muster.

Mar-22-2009 00:08

*Brrrinng Brrrringgggg*

Even though the shrill phone was muffled, the three visitors jumped at the sound. Ctown however just grinned and clapped his hands. "It's for me, it's for me!" he said happily, and proceeded to fling clothes off the bed with scant regard for where they ended up.

Ms Helen ducked as a ... vest? - well, she wasn't exactly sure what kind of garment it was and quickly decided that she didn't really want to know - went flying past her head, and marvelled at how easily ctown kept his balance wearing stilettos.

The ringing got louder as Ctown uncovered the phone. "Hello! This is Ctown, Pirate Radio Host, Entrepreneur, Entertainer, and Supreme Master Detective speaking!" he answered.

Nic, Helen and Adam looked at each other, not knowing what to think, as a loud scratchy voice could be heard from the phone.

"Dave! It's topkebab here. We've been worried about you, where have you been for the past few days? You haven't been coming to work and not answering your phone either. Did you stop taking your medications again?"

Ctown replied, "Don't worry TK, I don't need those meds any more! And I'm dong my own detective work with a few trusted allies," he winked at Adam, "and by the way I'm busy now, I've got visitors."

There was a pause. Then slowly the voice on the phone said "Hmm, stopped taking your meds, own detective work, and visitors. I'm going to send someone over soon. And who's there?"

Mar-23-2009 11:01

Crazytown giggled into the phone in his familiar way, and gently replaced the handset. He looked around the room at the three faces staring at him in disbelief, and then at the mirror in the corner of his room. Even though it was almost completely covered with discarded clothes, he was able to just see his face through the leg hole of a pair of pants. All the colour drained from his face as his glance shot from the mirror to the cuckoo clock on the wall above his bed. "oh no, my radio starts in ten minutes and I haven't got my make-up on. Without it I have no charm! Could any of you help me?" Nobody said anything for a minute more. As Nic headed cautiously for crazytown's make up kit, Adam came to his senses, turned on his heels and headed down the stairs.

Adam left the store as fast as he could, taking a running jump over the splintered door into the street, narrowly avoiding being hit by a car. As he made his way down the street towards his apartment, he was joined by Ms Helen, puffing and panting as she struggled to keep up with him in her impractical heels. How any woman thinks wearing heels as a detective is a good idea must be off her rocker, Adam thought as he heard her clippety clop at his side. Helen held out the balloon to show Adam and was about to say something when they noticed something up ahead. In fact, they noticed a lot up ahead. Every single lamppost, door, wall, car... well, everything really, was covered in leaflets. It was almost as if someone tried to paper the street in leaflets. They were so closely distributed that it was impossible to read what was written on them. Adam made a note to try find one he could read as he headed back to his apartment.

Mar-23-2009 11:02

Making their way into Adam's apartment complex, the pair noticed that even the walls inside were covered in these leaflets. Adam's own door was plastered with so many le that he struggled to find the keyhole. After literally a lifetime of poinltess stabbing, he eventually found the hole and opened the door. Laying on his mat was one single leaflet, obviously posted for him in case he missed any other ones. The one thing that struck him about the leaflet was the face that stared back at him. He knew he'd seen it once before, only for just a second. It was his crazy landlady, and before Helen snapped it up from the floor, he noticed the line at the top of the leaflet:

"BY APPOINTMENT OF HIS GREATNESS, THE GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK"

Helen sat on Adam's desk, reading the leaflet over and over. her stuttering becoming more incredulous by the moment. Adam, tired of waiting for her to finish having nothing to say, went out into the hallway and pulled a leaflet from the wall. He turned to head back into his apartment when he heard a bang against the wall behind him. Turning, he saw a figure round the corner up the stairs. He was going to follow until he noticed that the leaflet he had just pulled off the wall had been replaced by another. Shaking his head, Adam made his way back inside to sit down and read the leaflet himself.

"Can I use your phone?" Helen asked, pulling Adam from his own world. "Sure, knock yourself out." As Helen picked up the phone, Adam went back to the leaflet. From what it said, his loopy landlady, who surprisingly had a name, "Shandra Musso" had recently been appointed the position of "Grand Assistant of Notifications, City Hall Division." Before Adam could think about what that could be, Nicnic bounced through his door, with a lot more force than she had attempted earlier on Crazytown's shop door. This time she actually made it through. Picking herself up off the floor, she stared at Adam briefly before speaking.

Mar-23-2009 11:03

"Have you seen the leaflets posted all over town? Its almost like someone had a vendetta against the city and wanted to see it festooned in pink." Adam merely handed over the leaflet in his hand for Nic to read, and turned to Helen, who had just finished a rather animated discussion with someone from City Hall. "Well, there's good news and bad news. The bad news is, they have given her a job, and have allowed her to use the title she's had written down on these leaflets. The worse news on that front is that printing those leaflets is being charged to the people of the city, and I'm told its going to cost each of us more than a few bucks. The good news though, is that her job basically consists of removing the old notices from the notice board in the canteen in City Hall."

Just then, a letter was pushed under Adam's door. He went over to pick it up, and quickly scanned it. "I don't believe it. It says here that because my landlord now holds a position of 'higher social status' by working in City Hall, this complex has been upgraded in status, and as such my rent is going up. Damn, I've only been here a day. Still, good to see its going to her head already." Adam screwed the letter up and threw it into the bin, rather harder than was necessary. He turned on his heel and headed for the door. "Come on you two, I need to catch me a killer if I want to carry on living in this dump, so we better get a move on. Helen, what was that balloon you wanted to show me?"

Mar-23-2009 15:16

Crazytown finally made it to the radio station. Things were a bit hectic on the way as he had to fight through a blizzard of all the leaflets that suddenly hit the city. He didn’t have time to stop and read any of them, no less even wonder where they all came from. After all, as they say in the business, “The Show Must Go On”

It wasn’t long before he was on the air, that Nic came running into the studio. She had a bunch of the leaflets gathering up in each hand. Crazytown could tell she looked flustered but didn’t know why. He motioned for her to remain calm and went through the first segment of the show. He decided it was time for a break and put on some music for his listeners to enjoy while he tried to figure out what was going on. “You can relax Nic, I made it just in time. It’s so nice of you to come down here and listen to the show live though. Don’t worry about the makeup case, I’m so absent minded I forgot that atage makeup is not needed for a radio show,” he told her trying to ease her mind.

Nic gave him a blank stare wondering what in the hell he was talking about. After a moment she thrust a handful of the leaflets to him, “Not that you retard, didn’t you hear whats going on around here? The landlady is trying to take over. What do you think we should do about it?”

Crazytown looked down at the leaflet and recognize the face immediately, “Oh no, my arch nemesis Shandra Musso has infilitrated City Hall. OK, something must be done about this. I’ll make an announcement on the air about this. I fear we may have a revolution on our hands. You go gather up the others and we’ll meet at The Tricky Mister tonight.”

Nic took the instructions and headed off in search of the others, not knowing what she would find out. Ctown headed back over to the microphone and went back on the air. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I have no reason to alarm you, but it seems that the unthinkable has happened…….”

Mar-25-2009 13:22

Meanwhile, in another part of town there was a young writer by the name of Sigerson. Sigerson was not a very good writer, but he was persistent if anything. When he read one of the leaflets strewn about town he became very excited. Sigerson had been trying to get his literature published for quite some time now, but every time he tried he was told that he needed to do more work. But know there was a new landlady in charge of what people will get to read.

Sigerson was a rather resourceful fellow. He tracked down Shandra and forced his latest writings upon her. "Please Shandra, I've been trying to get this posted for a long time, but the previous people in charge have always told me that my work is not good enough. Will you please take a look at this and allow it go through?" he pleaded with her.

Shandra looked down her nose at Sigerson, "And just why should I do anything for you?" she asked him, "Don't you realize how lucky you are that I even acknowledge your existance? I'm a big player around here now and I will do what is best for me and nobody else. Now hand me that manuscript and I will take a look at the mindless drivel that you created."

Sigerson handed her the manuscript and she began to leaf through it. She then sat down and became very absorbed in it. AFter a short while she looked over at Sigerson, "Young man, I must tell you, this is by far the best piece of literature I have ever read. I will get this off to the publisher immediately. Everyone around the world needs to be able to see this wonderful masterpiece. Now be gone with you, I have more important things to tend to." She then made her way down the street with a great smile on her face. She was enjoying her new found status within the neighborhood.

Mar-28-2009 10:43

Meanwhile, in a restaurant across town...

Anikka was truly enjoying her gyro, messy though it was. Wiping her hands on her napkin, she shook her head at some of the silliness in the newspaper. The mayor had recently been photographed dancing on a table at the Cabaret, dressed in a trashy looking flapper dress and winking at a goat. She blinked. A goat?

Turning a page, Anikka was just about pick up her gyro again when caught sight of Maria carefully placing a bowl in front of a nearby patron. "Thank you, this broth looks wonderful," said the patron. "And may I please have a fork?"

Maria looked baffled. "A fork? Surely you meant a larger spoon?"

"I said a fork, my dear, and that is what I meant. Fetch one for me, please."

Maria turned away catching Anikka's eye as she did. They gave each other helpless shrugs, and Maria shortly returned to the table with both a fork and a soup spoon, while Anikka moved her attention to a once familiar face at another table. Was that- could it be? Was it really Adam Carter?

And most importantly, why did it look like he wasn't wearing pants?

Her attention was once again turned as the broth-eating customer flung the soup spoon indiscriminately away - and right at Adam's head - while shouting, "The correct way to eat broth is with a fork! That is what I have said!"

Maria moved off, looking like she might either cry or break something. Anikka had been to Sami's dozens of times, and figured it would be breaking something. Sure enough, seconds later, the sound of crockery shattering came from the kitchen. Wincing, Anikka dropped a tip on the table that was about three times larger than she originally planned. Poor Maria.

Passing Adam on the way out the door, Anikka was about to stop and speak to him, but noticing him rubbing the side of his head with one hand while the other hand curled into a fist. Maybe this wasn't the best time.

Mar-28-2009 11:24

His first day back on the had been a very strange one. He'd accosted a madman in a dress, been accosted by a mad woman plastering the city in posters, and he had a piece of bloody balloon which made no sense. Maybe lunch would make things make more sense.

Adam picked himself a seat in Sami's and started to peruse the menu. He looked up from the menu, to see a slightly familiar face staring at him. Almost leering. If she kept it up, Adam thought, it would be a leer. He ducked behind his menu, and slowly looked back up. Still staring, Thats deinitely a leer then. As he struggled to place the face, he saw Maria head towards him with a less than satisfying look on her face. Of course, he thought, we aren't supposed to seat ourselves here. "Sorry Maria, I forgot about the seating arrangements. I hope you don't mind." She seemed to perk up after receiving the apology. "Don't worry, everyone forgets from time to time." She broke out into a smile so large that Adam wished he was wearing sunglasses.

He ordered a sandwich and a cup of coffee, then set about rolling up his trouser legs. It may have looked weird to an outsider, but to Adam it was as normal as spreading a napkin on ones legs. There was an incident in a backwater restaurant in Delhi that made him think twice about sitting at a table with trouser legs touching the floor. During a rather tasty regional dish known only as "Kuulma", he felt a strange scratching on his legs. It wasn't until the scratch became a searing pain that he investigated. A scorpion had climbed up his leg and nestled in his inner thigh. It didn't seem to take to kindly to all the movement, so it bit down hard its fleshy bedcovers. That particular incident left Adam walking like a cowboy for weeks.