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Mar-18-2009 18:11

He knew it would happen someday, but maybe not quite so soon. There was the itch, but the itch had been there from the day he'd walked into City Hall and handed in his badge. Then there were the withdrawal symptoms. They weren't too bad at first. The folkes at Shady Acres Rest Home for the Elderly and Infirm had helped him ease into the transition, and the lazy days spent playing backgammon and eating apple sauce were quite fun, but that quickly died, just like a lot of the residents. The parking spaces were too small also, and the dents and scrapes down the side of the almost new Cadillac made it look more like it had served in the Great War than the pottering around town it usually did. Slowly, the itch took over. No more chases down dark alleys. No more sitting in cars, sometimes for days at a time, drinking bad coffee and waiting for a lead. No more clinking of handcuffs as another murderer is brought to justice.

It was no good. The itch was too strong, and only a shiny new detective badge could scratch it.


After taking the Cadillac back to the dealer, and losing half the new price for the damage, a trip to the local City Hall was at hand. Almost as soon as he stepped inside, Adam felt he was home.

Standing on the steps of City Hall, new detective badge in hand, Adam thought about what lay ahead of him. He wasn't as fit as he was in the old days, and even then he struggled to keep up with short women in high heels. Maybe a bicycle would be a good start. Maybe a diet would be a good start more like. Both of those suggestions were laughable though. The only diet he could think of was the See-food diet, and that only seemed to help him gain weight.Anyhow, the only rational thing to do now was come up with a witty and pointless name for his new detective agency. But even that was a strain.

Before he could give it any thought, a small boy approached him with an envelope and a big grin.

Mar-19-2009 02:17

*a little earlier before ctown’s social encounter*


Joey was walking down an alley, hands in his pockets and no worry in the world. Suddenly then he noticed something in the shadows, somewhere behind an old smelly dumpster.

He took a closer step to throw an eye and suddenly…a dark woman appeared. She had black circles all around her eyes, black lips and of course a black dress. She came towards him slowly as if she was floating, looked in his eyes and started in a ghostly voice:

“Wouuuuld youuu liiike toooo reeent aaaaan oooooffiiice?”

Joey just froze for the beginning. After a couple of long moments he started shivering a bit and then some more until he ended up completely shaking all his bones. He took his hands out of his pockets and grabbed the sides of his hat brim, seeming he wanted to say something, but wasn’t capable of actually let it out. The woman looked a little startled by his reaction and took a step back.

Joey’s lips then started to tremble and he finally ended up shouting as loud as his lungs could:

“BATHROOOOOOOOOM!!!”

Mar-19-2009 02:18

He started then to run like crazy and jumped inside the first door he saw open. He climbed some stairs fast and finally entered a room, stumbling on the door step and thus ending up laying completely on the floor, face up.

He noticed thus that he was looking at 2 people who were, of course, staring back at him, probably startled by his sudden interruption. One was a man holding a small balloon and looking as if he was just about to blow it. The other was a woman with some kind of medicine into her hand. Joey narrowed his eyes to read the label and realized it was a scratching lotion.

“Now what the…” mumbled him as he got up, watching them both just to make sure that none of them comes any closer. “Now listen, guys…I don’t know what kinky joint you’re running here, but there’s a vampire downstairs.”

The man and woman threw a short look at each other and then the woman took a step towards him. Looking at her and then back at her itching lotion, Joey got startled once again and took a fast step back.

“Hold it right there woman! And keep that thing away from me! You’re giving me the chills…Damn!”

The woman smiled and took another step. At this Joey decided it was finally time to make his exit. He quickly rushed towards the door without saying one more word and left running fast down the stairs.

The two followed him with their eyes from the window as he was quickly running down the street, looking behind him every 2 seconds with a completely terrified expression.

Mar-19-2009 16:55

Nic turned to Adam, "What kinda place you running here? This is just outright bizarre."

Adam looked befuzzled, "I dunno, I just got here myself."

All of a sudden a metaphoric lightbulb went off in Nic's head. "Does this Crazytown Dave guy go by the name of 'ctown'?"

"Yes he does. But how did you know..."

"I don't even want to tell you, I don't know you that well. But let's just say my friend Helen and I were drinking at the Tricky Mister one night and had a very errr interesting experience with this ctown character. But that's all I wish to divulge. Honestly most of it is too disgusting for a lady to repeat." Nic replied and turned away.

Mar-19-2009 18:38

Ms Helen wasn't a heavy drinker, although many didn't realise this. She had always looked down on those who succumbed to the evils of liquor, did one not know how to restrain oneself these days?

Waking up with a start Helen tried to remember what had happened last night to cause her head and neck to hurt so much. Gradually climbing out of her bed so as not to cause any more discomfort, she grabbed herself a glass of water and sipped it slowly. Last night's events started to appear within her over-worked head. There had been a dishevelled looking man. What was his name? Loopy Dawn? Happy Daniel? Oh that's right Crazytown Dave. He was a weird ole guy.

Another glass of water later and Helen could recall last night as if it had happened only seconds ago....well almost anyway.

Last night had been a celebration night in the Tricky Mister. Helen and nic had decided to hold a little gathering after a particularly hard case. It had been nic's idea to step outside...something about needing to check Cyrus Tibby's trash.

"What's that?" Helen had asked as a noise sounded form behind them. Turning slowly they'd both been surprised to see a skinny, haggard looking man.

"Reckon we could get a few drinks out of him?" nic had whispered quietly.

Helen shrugged her shoulders slightly, she didn't want to drink how many times did she have to tell these people?

""Hey you look like a nice normal fella, why don't you come inside and buy a couple of girls a drink," nic cooed. She certainly had a way with her words.....and men. Still each to their own.

Not surprisingly the man seemed taken aback. Who after all would pay attention to him in this state, except maybe to call the cops.

"Oh no, I couldn't do that," he explained, "I'm on my way to the church to get involved in some social clubs."

Mar-19-2009 18:39

Helen had responded "Social clubs? Well you are in luck, we are having a social gathering right inside. My name is Helen and this is my friend nic, c'mon inside."

"What's your name by the way?" nic wasn't going to let Helen get the attention all night. After all nic was known for her attention seeking ways.

"Crazytown Dave" was the response.

Inside Helen took a sip of her typical water whilst nic went straight for the bourbon. As the 'social gathering' became rowdier, Crazytown loosened up quite dramatically. Nic's charms it seems were working wonders, his eyes glazed over as he hung onto her every word. It took Helen every ounce of energy not to laugh at him. To stop herself saying something she would regret Helen did what she always does at gatherings, mingle.

From there it got fuzzy for Helen again. A gin and tonic, that's where the drinking had begun but from who and how many, well, she doubted she would ever remember. For now she had to get ready for work. Her head still hurting and her eyes still blurry she set off for work. Her hands felt frozen from the cold so she stuffed them in her pockets only to let out a small cry. What on earth was that in her pocket?

"What? Why's there a balloon in my pocket? With a smiley face painted on it no less."

Helen continued to walk asking herself the same question and over.

"What else happened last night that I missed?"

Mar-21-2009 18:37

A partnership wasn't exactly what Adam was looking for so soon after reclaiming his badge, but Nic was as hard to shake off as the preverbial from a walking stick. She had held on to the piece of balloon so tightly its a wonder it hadn't disappeared into her hand. The note was the piece puzzling Adam though, and only a visit to Crazytown's record store would solve it.

The duo made their way across the city on foot. Partly because Adam had no car anymore and partly because Nic had forgotten where she parked hers. The more Adam thought about it, the more he wondered if the piece of balloon was part of her brain, used to hold in the air that was in there. It was certainly a shame that they didn't make women drive at walking pace with a man waving a red flag in front of them anymore. By the look of things this one would do serious damage to anything within half a mile if she was allowed to touch the accelerator.

The door to the record store was locked, and a hastily written sign on the door told those who cared to look that the writer would be "back in 10 minutes." Itching to try out his old skills, Adam fished around in his jacket pockets, looking for his lockpicking kit. He had the jacket specially crafted by New York's finest tailors so he could hide everything he could possibly need on the job in there, to cover every eventuality. Alongside the 3 holsters, there was a pocket big enough for a Thermos, a set of small binoculars, a periscope, a hammer and chisel, a book, some mints, 2 bananas (now mouldy, and possibly the reason why the jacket smelled so foul), a lighter, 3 packs of cigarettes, a hat with a built in ladies wig (an ingenious long distance surveillance device) and a small painted wooden duck, which had an elastic band nailed to the bottom of it.

Mar-21-2009 18:37

The duck was a rather odd addition to the arsenal, but a very handy one. The last place someone would think to look someone who is tailing them is in a pond, and by attaching the duck to his head with the elastic, Adam was able to hide unseen in ponds for as long as his breath would allow. And he had big lungs. This very technique had once nabbed him the "St. James' Strangler", a nasty man with a propensity for killing prople in St. James Park in London. He certainly didnt think anything of the small duck laying motionless on top of a dirty pond.

After a frantic search, taking up easily 10 minutes, Adam conceded that he couldn't find his lockpicks anywhere. Which was just as well, because when he stood up he saw that Nic was already working hard at getting the door open.

"Could you not have let me have a go at doing that? Its been a while. I haven't had practice at picking locks since I locked myself out of my room in Shady Acres."

"But we'd have been here forever waiting for your old hands to work through this lock, and I would like to have a snoop behind before Crazytown gets back from buying illegal booze or whatever it is he does at this time," Nic replied as she shot Adam a sideays glance.

"Fine, just hurry up will you? It's cold out here."

No sooner had Adam finished speaking did Nic have the lock picked. Just like a boxer preparing to go into the ring, she took a deep breath, grabbed the handle, and turned. Nothing.

"Hmm, the door seems to be bolted from the inside. That's odd. This is the only way into or out of the place."

Mar-21-2009 18:38

Wondering what could be going on inside, Nic turned her shoulder, and ran as fast as she could at the door, bouncing off it like a tennis ball on a clay court. She hit the floor with a nasty bump, laying there for a few seconds to get her bearings.

Adam stepped over Nic, and with one short shoulder swipe, knocked the door off its hinges. "Technique," he mocked, as he helped her onto her feet. "Whatever" she replied, "I didn't try that hard anyway." They both cautiously stepped over the now splintered door, into the darkness of the shop. A faint noise could be heard coming from the upstairs, where Crazytown's apartment was. Silently, the duo made their way to the stairs, and, taking covering positions, made their way to the noise, clearing each room as they did, pistols at the ready. They had both been in enough scrapes before to know to check the noise last. Detectives didn't last very long if they didn't learn that quickly.

After clearing each room in the apartment, which mostly consisted of stepping over plates of food in various states of regrowth, the pair stood facing the closed bedroom door, Nic in front, Adam taking up a firing position just above her head. Repeating the boxer chant of earlier, Nic took a deep breath and turned the handle as quietly as she could. In one fluid movement she threw opened the door and levelled her revolver at the only moving object in the room. For seconds nobody spoke, both Nic and Adam staring in disbelief at the figure standing before them. No matter how much they blinked, there was no doubt that standing in front of them was Crazytown Dave, wearing a dress and high heels.

"It's not what it looks like," was all he could say.

Mar-21-2009 21:08

Helen was starting to get strange looks. There's only so long you can look at a balloon without people thinking you're weird. Sat in Sami's she had spent two hours staring at the balloon in front of her. In that time she had drunk five cups of coffee and smoked... well she didn't like to say how many cigarettes. Too many, that's for sure. She didn't know why she was so bothered by it but being a detective she trusted nothing.

Ever since the 'social gathering' Helen had taken the balloon everywere, and spent every spare second looking at it. It couldn't have just appeared, someone had to have put it there, right? Crazytown came to her thoughts. He was certainly a little odd. Odd enough to carry balloons around with him? Probably. Still even if it was something to do with him how would she find out, she knew nothing about him although the name did sound familiar. Nic made sure of that when she glued herself to him that night. Come to think of it why was she so struck with him? She couldn't have taken a fancy to him could she? Helen quickly shook that idea from her head. Crazy, loopy and fanatical she may be, but she hardly came across as desperate.

Helen had tried calling nic several times since but she was either always out or avoiding her. Either way Helen needed to find a way of contacting Crazytown.

Finally giving up on the balloon Helen decided to take a walk up to the Tricky Mister and see if anything new was happening in there. There was normally some random person around these days. Good to see after the recent dry spell.

Mar-21-2009 21:09

It was quiet on the streets, but there was nothing new there. It wasn't the best of areas and most lots were either vacant or severely dilapidated. The old record store seemed to be hanging on though, just. That's when Helen slapped her head, literally. Crazytown's record store.

She dashed across the street nearly colliding with an oncoming car and rushed to the entrance of the record store. It seems someone else had been more insistent than herself to find Crazytown. The door was now hanging off one hinge not that you could tell just by walking by the place. The record store was probably the most dilapidated of all. Grabbing her gun from the holster she stepped in cautiously. The laughing confused her more. It wasn't just laughing, there were two laughs, one loud and one a cackle Helen would recognise anywhere. Following the cackle up the stairs Helen found nic clutching to a wall laughing whilst an uknown man stood clutching his stomach.

Glancing past them Helen finally saw what they were laughing at. The dishevelled man known as Ctown dressed in a short, sparkly dress with heels even she would struggle to walk in. Even worse, his legs looked as smooth as silk.

"I'm not even going to ask" was all Helen could muster.