Sleuth Home - Message Boards - The Gumshoe Lounge

Jul-18-2008 01:12

Hi there :)

So - a lot of the discussion on Ctown's editorial thread about why people leave the game or stay with it have got me thinking about my own situation, and why I haven't been around very much for a while.

Not the bit about how my mail is pre-screened by a german shepard who answers to the name of Rufus and still gets paid more than I do.

Not the bit about how there's a video of me on Youtube giving a dirty Sanchez to an anorexic spider monkey named Bella.

Not the bit about how I managed to become an ambidextrous funkslinger and defeat a naughty sorceress repeatedly on another game called Kingdom of Loathing.

And not even the bit about how most of the people I used to talk to just up and left.

These would all be good reasons, but none of them are mine. Mine is about 15 weeks old, lives in the protective umbrella of Missus Patty's' tummy and makes my eyes well up every time I hear his or her heart beating, faster than a meth-freak drummer with carpal tunnel syndrome and jackrabbits for parents. But it's really about the heartbeat - the closest thing my kid has right now to speaking in the world.

So there you have it. I've sort of had my priorities shifted of late, and although I miss you all, I really have no idea when I'll have the kind of time to jerk around on the internet that I used to have. I promise I'll try my best from time to time, even if I NEVER figure out whether I have milk ducts in my man-breasts.
My love,
N

Jul-23-2008 23:38

heck how did i miss this :s

So, after all those years of slathering each other in maple syrup and hoping the bees would pollinate, you finally decided to have a go the old fashioned way...

Congratulations to you and Mrs Patty, Nat :)

Jul-23-2008 23:40

PS all those years of puttin' on your own man diaper is sure gonna pay off now :D

Jul-24-2008 17:22

Can I call you crunchdaddy now? ;)

Aug-1-2008 07:25

Is this what happens when you stop playing sleuth? I vow to play for the rest of my life ;)

Oct-31-2008 22:17

I'm now accepting entries for a "name my baby" contest. Please provide name origins where possible and please don't take it personaly if me and the missus dont go with your suggestion.

Boy and girl names are welcome. Explain why :) I will happily buy a year's sub for anyone who manages to come up with a name we we use.

Nov-5-2008 18:11

I just assumed you were going to name the kid either Uncle or Auntie Badtouch. No?

Nov-6-2008 08:19

Im going to use the same name I submitted to the Gringolds: yoyo. Orginal, short, sweet, no one asking how to spell it it's pure gold!

Nov-7-2008 23:48

Okay its good, but how do you spell that? I don't know - I'm kind of up and down about the whole thing, and I really don't know how comfortable I am naming a child after something on a string. It makes me feel funny about the whole "cutting the umbilical cord" bit.

nic - because I didn't say so before, let me clarify - that's a family name, and one is enough, thanks very much. Even hearing you utter it makes me never want to climb a tree in a boy scout uniform again. But please submit more entries, and rest assured that my promise of a year's sub can be converted into 4.5 minutes worth of free-hab at a clinic of your choosing in your area.

Any other entrants? I really don't want to spend the rest of my life telling "Hey-you face" to take out the garbage....

Nov-8-2008 01:09

Is Mr. Crunchpatty serious about this? Or is this some kind of a secret joke among 'old' players?

You can name your daughter Beatrice. :D It's a nice name. Or you can even modernize the spelling - Beatriz or Beatrix. :D Beatrix Badtouch, not bad, right? :D

And if its a boy, go for the Jr. thing. Crunchpatty Jr. So you can just say 'hey, Junior, take out the garbage!"

Just a suggestion. :D

Nov-8-2008 03:48

Unfortunately Aknas, I believe crunch is soberingly serious about this. And looking back at the literary wonders he has blessed us with on these boards, it is disturbing that this man seriously cannot come to terms with defining a name for his spawn. I'd expect more, but but apparently we've over-estimated his abilities. *shudders at the thought*

Now while I would like to go with my gut and counter-propose such things as Paco the Underaged Cabana Boy Patty (if it's a boy) or Betty Ford Patty (if it's a girl), I won't do that.

Instead, I will get serious for a moment. I will seriously give my input into this.

1. It's a Girl! Brittany or Caitlin. I've always loved those names for a girl. They sound very regal and refined and have cute nicknames associated with them (Brit and Cait (pronounced Kite)). But given the present-day phenomenon of crotch-flashing and chemical dependence associated with the name Brittany, that may not be the best option.

2. It's a Boy! Jake. Not Jacob.... Jake.... I think it's a badass name. It has an air about it like "Hey, I'm Jake, I'm a pretty boy, but I'm tough as hell and don't mess with me." I have read recently that Jake is one of the most popular names in the past 5 years or so. But I did think of it first. Way before "Jake" became all cool and stuff, so I'm sticking with it.

Addendum: If I ever decide to pop out a few rugrats of my own, I reserve the right to withdraw these names. And even though crunchpatty beat me to the whole procreation thing, these are still my ideas. If he chooses to use them, he does so at his own risk, and should be obligated to become original and re-name his offspring if I decide to lay claim to these names at a future date. Wouldn't want my children to have any sort of identity crisis or feel that they were unduly associated with random internet undesirables.

PS. I don't need a free subscription. Thanks :-)