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CONTEST: 50 Words or Less II
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Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Mar-19-2008 09:26

The Idea: Using a given opening line, you must write a story that uses 50 words or less. The opening line does not count toward your word total.

The Rules:

* I will give a total of 5 opening lines. You may choose whichever line(s) you wish to use.

* There are two ways to enter: (A) single paragraph stories and (B) extended stories. You may either enter (A) or (B). The only way to enter both is to use only three or four starting lines for the extended story entry, and use the remaining one or two for the single paragraph stories.

* To enter (A): You may write an entry for as many of the opening lines as you like, but only 1 story for each line. So, your maximum number of entries is 5. If you only like 3 of the opening lines, then write 3 stories. However, the stories should not be related.

* To enter (B): Again, you may use as many of the opening lines as you like, but only once each. They should all be submitted as one entry, creating an overall story, although each separate paragraph with opening line should be able to stand alone as its own story.

(If you have not seen last year’s contest, please check out this thread and see how the entries were submitted: http://noir.playsleuth.com/map/cityhall/post.spy?id=22695)

* Your story or stories must make sense. It/they also should be mystery-related, or be mysterious with a really interesting twist.

* Spelling and grammar DO count. Please. Spellcheck is our friend.

*All entries must be posted no later than 11:59 PM server time on March 29, 2008.

Prizes: YAY! We love prizes. The winners will receive a two-month subscription and some Sleuth cash.

Your opening lines:

1. Leo smirked like a guilty man who knows there’s no evidence.

2. Nobody knew if it was true except one person, and she wasn’t talking.

3. The small box was as full as it could be.

4. I never assumed the search was done.

5. Tilly watched every move he made, ready to break out into a loud screech.

Replies

Stooby
Stooby
Well-Connected

Mar-20-2008 14:19

Great another 50 word contest! I loved the first.

Typicaly though I've dashed through my entry and want to shout it out. Well at least there's the rest of the entries comming up to read! Good luck writing all, it's as fun as ever!

My entry, like last years is a combined entry of all 5 parts to make 1 story.

Stooby
Stooby
Well-Connected

Mar-20-2008 14:19

Tilly watched every move he made, ready to break out into a loud screech.

The Cosa Nostra goon was built like a barn. His breath stunk of whisky as he loomed over her and said “Wer’s da cash doll face?”

Her voice trembled as she replied “Leo has it and he aint in town.”

They found her corpse later in the burnt out store.
_______________

Nobody knew if it was true except one person, and she wasn’t talking.

“Listen Lucy I need to find Leo. Tilly was a great gal and I’m going to catch her killer. Is Leo dead?”

Big Lucy smiled one of her smiles and then told me where Leo was holed up. I now owed her a big favour and one day she’d collect.
_______________

I never assumed the search was done.

But the door hanging off its hinge wasn’t a good sign. Gun drawn I went in.

I heard a noise from the lounge so crept closer.

Mat the Hammer, a familiar face around town, stood over Leo who sat in a chair. He was covered in blood and looked terrified.

The small box was as full as it could be.

Mat pointed to it, bellowing “Dat’s Cosa Nostra cash you dummy, no-one takes from us and lives.” With a cruel laugh he raised a massive hand to strike Leo and said “I made sure your gal Tilly knew all about dat.”

A shot to his leg dropped Mat down flat.
_______________

Leo smirked like a guilty man who knows there’s no evidence.

“You cost Tilly her life.” I said on the steps of the court.

“Sure but I’ve got plenty of cash, a chance to get out of town and a world of gals to choose from.”

As he walked away I could only hope another Cosa Nostra goon caught him soon.

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

This reply has been deleted by a Moderator

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Mar-20-2008 21:25

stupid word and it's random ?'s


……………………..

I never assumed the search was done. When the detective - hell, I don’t even remember his name - told me they couldn’t do any more, I just nodded and smiled. I always knew it would fall to me, so I was already packed, if you could call it that: a photograph and a gun.

……………………..

Nobody knew if it was true except one person, and she wasn’t talking. Not yet anyways. They say the dead can’t speak, me I was never so sure.

I thought her mother might turn me away, but when she opened the door I saw my own desperation reflected in her eyes.

“Come in, I’ve been expecting you”, she whispered.

It was a beginning.

……………………..

The small box was full as it could be. “Here”, and it was thrust into my hands. “That’s all that’s left… all I’m willing to give. I’m sorry.”

I understood. Such a large life in such a small box.

“Will it help”, she asked, not meeting my eyes.

What could I say? I owed her the truth. “Maybe.”

……………………..

Leo smirked like a guilty man who knows there’s no evidence. “What’re you gonna do, shoot me?” He mocked. “You aint got nothin’ if you aint got me.”

I shrugged. “Then I guess 'I aint got nothin’' ”, and I pulled the trigger.

Leo hadn’t understood. I knew where she was. I hadn’t come for information…

I’d come for revenge.

……………………..

Tilly watched every move he made, ready to break out into a loud screech. I pushed the pacifier back into her mouth and gave the old priest a wry smile. “Best of luck”, I said passing her over.

“What name do you give this child”, he said holding my struggling daughter like a ticking time-bomb.

“Mathilda”, I replied, and then “…after her mother.”

Sophie4
Sophie4
Gopher to the Sleuth Gods

Mar-20-2008 22:49

I wrot the winning piece but timed out! I'm devestated. Like that really stupid song "I'll never have that recipe again." Iknow what I did wrong do't tell me. So I kick myself to the kook book store ...and they won't be able to help me either cuz I'll never have that story again. Arrrggghhh.
Pity me

topkebab
topkebab
Lucky Stiff

Mar-21-2008 06:36

Here goes. Don't laugh.

--

Tilly watched every move he made, ready to break out into a loud screech.

She stuffed her fist into her mouth to stifle her cry and peered again through the wardrobe door. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. That was the man she loved, the man she thought she knew! She realised the truth then. He WAS the mob.

At that, she ran.

--

Nobody knew if it was true except one person, and she wasn't talking.

She'd tried to run, of course, but who could run from the mob? More to the point, who could hide from Leo? He'd tracked her expertly, to the dingy motel room she'd rented under a laughably false name. Poor Tilly, she wasn't talking.

--

Leo smirked like a guilty man who knows there's no evidence.

I recognised that smirk, and cursed the long arm of the law, whch didn't seem to stretch far enough to the mob. "I'll have to get the job done myself", I thought.

I resigned from the police force that night.

--

I never assumed the search was done.

Day after day I perservered. I searched through newspapers, hunted down all my contacts and informants, even sneaked back into the station into the records room. Finally I found it. It was in plain view, how could I have missed it?

The perfect agency location was right around the corner.

--

The small box was as full as it could be.

Who knew someone could need this much stuff? Luckily this was the last box.

Struggling to open the door, I paused to catch my breath and admired the plaque.

"Office of Detective Topkebab, private investigator."

My new life had begun.


Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Mar-21-2008 12:16

Looks like we're off to a wonderful start! Poor, poor Sophie, though... my sympathies.

If you ever time out while writing a post, just hit the 'back' button on your browser, which should bring you back to the page with your written post in the 'reply' section. Then, simply highlight your post, and log back in to Sleuth. Then go back to the post thread you wanted to reply to and paste it in!!

This has worked for me numerous times (I'm easily sidetracked) and will save those tears for something more earth-shattering in the future!

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Mar-21-2008 19:22

3. The small box was as full as it could be. Perkins dropped it and lurched for the waste-paper basket, as the severed ears of Daisy Flanagan's dead lovers scattered across the floor.

The coroner picked up an offending organ as it rolled to a stop at his feet. Looking at the constable, he shook his head. "You were expecting jewellery!?”

Stooby
Stooby
Well-Connected

Mar-22-2008 02:35

I know I've entered, just a bit of an observation here but this was me on several of the longer contests we've had:

3. The small box was as full as it could be.

"Blast that stoopid 2000 character limit!" said Stooby heading back to word for some more cutting and pasting.


I always find for that reason, for checking my terrible typing and to avoid things like timeout issues that it's a good idea to work on competition entries away from Sleuth and copy and paste into it. Let those who've yet to enter pay head. ANd for those of you who haven't what are you wating for? A free subscription as a prize!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

topkebab
topkebab
Lucky Stiff

Mar-22-2008 04:42

LOL Stooby! I think that entry deserves a prize all of its own ;)

Personally, I prefer pen and paper, certainly for less than 50 words.

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