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Jan-18-2008 21:43

"Rain pounded on the windows, and a fist pounded on the door. I swung the door open just as a bolt of lightning revealed the visage of a bewhiskered man wearing a fedora.

The lady of the house was out, but it was me he wanted. Me and the little lady I was with. He smirked, and I knew there wasn't enough gin in the world to erase the coming nightmare."


Recognise it? No? Ahh, if the Cat in the Hat went Noir, it might look like this.

But maybe you disagree. Well, then, show me what YOU think it would look like if Seuss went Noir... any Dr. Seuss story, just use the original story name as your title.

Not including the title, please tell your story in a maximum of 5000 words. I advise you to write it all in a word processing program and copy/paste it into posts, so that you don't run the risk of someone posting in the middle of your story.

So, there you go. And here's some useful tips for ya, kid:

* Spellcheck is your friend. No, really, it is.
*Punctuation is your friend, too. Period. :-D


Submissions must be posted no later than 11:59PM on Thursday, January 31.

Prize(s) will be awarded!

Jan-19-2008 13:53

In the last couple of years, Hollywood's gotten in on the act, and made movies of a couple classic Seuss books. The two I know of off the top of my head are "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" and "The Cat in the Hat". You might check for them where you buy/rent videos. ;-)

Jan-19-2008 16:18

Stooby try

http://www.seussville.com
or
http://www.seuss.org

Jan-20-2008 02:56

Thanks guys, what's the overall Seuss feel? He wrote in rhyme? Silly rhyme? Naughty chacters, moral stories?

I see why Anikka didn't choose A Uk writer like Roal Dahl, very Noir already!

Jan-20-2008 13:38

Choosing to Noir-ise the works of a writer whose writing was already Noir-like. What, then, would be the challenge, Stooby? :-)

Yes, Dr. Seuss made up names of creatures and places and people, and was altogether silly. Characters were not always naughty, but there were lessons to be learned - all amusingly done (save for The Lorax, which is actually pretty Noir in its own way).

Please... PLEASE!!!... submit your story in prose form. You aren't meant to be emulating Dr. Seuss, but transforming his works.

Jan-21-2008 17:05

awww but I have this one 'bout server speed and chicks with sticks and bricks...

Jan-22-2008 00:55

How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

Everyone
Down in Hooverville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But Edward Grinch,
Who lived in the North of Hooverville
Did NOT!

Edward was known to those who avoided him most simply as the Grinch. He stood glaring at the snow falling over Central Park. His shoes, several sizes to small, pinched his feet terribly. They and the coat he was pulling tightly around himself had been stolen the day before from a man half his size. The cold bit through his thin clothes and froze his heart.

The Grinch heard the carols being sung all around Hooverville, “Christmas Eve.” growled the Grinch and spat. Those who knew him and tried to stay out of his way knew that the Grinch hated Christmas, no-one knew why and he would not say. Even here in Hooverville where people had lost the most they managed to find comfort and cheer in the spirit of Christmas, but not the Grinch.

Edward knew that very soon, all over New York everyone would be heading to bed. They’d be tucked up tightly awaiting the coming of Christmas Day. The perfect opportunity for a thief like himself to slip inside those nice warm homes and help himself to the silver, some food and any interesting presents he could find.

The Grinch set off to one of the smarter areas of town, several empty bags held under one arm. He took with him a young lad called Max, he would be his lookout and would guard the swag.

Things were going well for the Grinch, he had broken into several houses and already filled one bag with stolen loot. He’d found several cakes and hams. These he’d eaten and shared with Max, some were saved in his bag.

Now as he squeezed through the window of the next house the Grinch wished he hadn’t eaten so well. His stomach was full and he knew he was stuck. With a whispered cry he called out to Max, who gave the Grinch a push and a shove until he fell inside.

Jan-22-2008 00:55

Standing up the Grinch rubbed his eyes, a light in the hallway was on and it took a moment to adjust from the dark outside. Then he quickly took the bag Max pushed through the window and hurried over to the sideboard. He found two silver candle sticks and squealed in delight at the sight of a full silver cutlery set displayed tantalisingly in its case.

Pushing these into his bag the Grinch hurried quickly to the window and handed his swag out to a waiting Max. He gave a final look around and could not resist heading back to take a full bottle of brandy from a small bar. As he walked to the window ready to make his escape the Grinch heard a noise from the hallway and knew he’d been found. Fearing the worst he pulled a revolver from his coat, spun and fired.
________________________________

Even on Christmas Day
the Sleuth
was there to be hired.

To catch a killer
see him hang
who the shot had fired.

The Sleuth stood and looked at the scene of the crime, the victim a tiny young thing. Her mother sobbed in a corner, held tightly by her husband who had called him in the early hours of the morning. Trembling in fear in the arms of his nanny stood a young boy of 5. Cindy-Lou, sister and daughter, could not have been more than 6. Now her cold lifeless body would age no more, her final Christmas spent stretched on the wooden floor.

It did not take much for the Sleuth to see that Cindy-Lou must have disturbed a thief. Her grieving father had told him several items of silver were missing. They’d woken to the sound of the gunshot and a crash as the killer fled, falling over the Christmas tree in his haste.

The clues where everywhere, a scrap of coat caught on the tree, footprints in the settled snow outside heading in the direction of Hooverville, the steps showing someone limping in pain, shoes several sizes to small. There was even an abandoned bag of swag left at the edge of the snow covered lawn.

Jan-22-2008 00:56

A police car was lazily pulling up as the Sleuth left. He pointed them in the direction of the swag and went before he had to answer to many questions.

His first stop was with Thaddeus Kobayashi, the Tailor. The Sleuth had to pointedly remind him of all the favours that had done for him over the years as he complained loudly about the injustices of having to work on Christmas Day.

Thaddeus confirmed what the Sleuth had thought, the scrap of coat matched those found the day before at the scene of another crime. A small homeless man had been murdered, his body found towards the north of Hooverville, his shoes and coat stolen, a scrap left behind, caught on his belt buckle.

With a thanks to Thaddeus the Sleuth left, his thoughts leading him towards Hooverville. As he wandered through those impromptu streets he caught sight of a figure hurrying between the ramshackled houses. Wrapped in a coat to small he was limping badly, clearly his shoes were far to tight. The Sleuth kept out of sight and followed him back to a shed he clearly lived in.

Standing outside the Sleuth looked around in wonder as the snow began to fall over Central Park, voices from other huts clearly heard singing Christmas songs. From within the shed a voice cried, “Why Max? Why’d she ave ta come down like that. I didn’t mean ta do it Max.”

The voice of a young lad asked “What we gona do bout it Grinch?”

The first voice replied “It’s Christmas Max, let’s eat what we got and try ta forget bout it. Maybe er family’ll forgive us, it bein Christmas an all.”

Jan-22-2008 00:56

With that the Sleuth knew he’d heard enough. He pulled out his revolver and kicked the door of the shed wide open. He levelled his gun at the Grinch and said “Go ahead Grinch, reach for you gun and I’ll carve you up like the beast you are”.

And what happened then...?
Well...in Hooverville they say
That the Grinch's cold heart
Beat only 3 more times that day!
He reached for his gun and held it tight,
The Sleuth took aim in the bright morning light
A gun rang out and the Grinch fell amongst his feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch was carved up like a roast beast!
___________________________

Later, much later that day, after questions from the police and watching young Max being lead away The Sleuth returned to tell Cindy-Lou’s family what he had found. And after many tears and much weeping they all gathered in the Cathedral for a ceremony unlike any seen on Christmas Day. And with the family of Cindy-Lou the Sleuth raised his voice and sang to the angels, asking them to guide one young soul their way.

And later still having written up his notes of events the Sleuth neatly filed away The Case of How The Grinch Stole Christmas Day.

Jan-22-2008 13:28

That's fantastic, Stooby!! Wonderful job!! ;-D